Am I right to put up with all of this?

Thank you Dec46. TBH I think I attract bad behaviour from people. I am polite, quiet, observant, well behaved and respect people and their opinions

I believe it is very common for victims of domestic abuse to feel (or be made to feel) that they are somehow responsible for the actions of others. “Look at what you made me do” is a common response from the abusive partner, whether drunk or just a bully by nature. You cannot be held responsible for some body else’s bullying behaviour.
You are in an abusive relationship - please get out and get help (see Suedonim ‘s post)

Actually, to answer the question you posed in the OP, NO!

This sounds truly horrible, I can’t imagine how you’ve put up with it, but I really think you should get out.

Please don’t waste any more of your life in this dreadful man.

Why on earth are you tolerating this boorish behaviour?

Thank you Dec46. TBH I think I attract bad behaviour from people. I am polite, quiet, observant, well behaved and respect people and their opinions. My step daughter once asked me why was I so polite?!? It is probable that because of my personality, people think they can walk all over me. I have suffered it from my husband’s sister and one of my husband’s friends. I wouldn’t even dream of giving them the same treatment. ?

No, you’re not right to put up with this. You are in an abusive relationship, and it must be horrendously stressful. . Contact Women’s Aid, who have a section on abuse. www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

I don't think this is a healthy relationship and I think you should think about getting out of it and try and enjoy your future life without him in it.
He is unlikely to change after this amount of time but you could suggest going to Realate together and see what happens.
If he won't go you can go by yourself and get advice from them without him being there.
Take care x