Friends excluding me

Annaraml I wondered that too. Where did this baby come from?

How did you find out about this so called friend messaging your husband? Did he tell you?

People seem to know you have a baby but I cant see it in your message.

You did the right thing I was married for 23 years and I found out my husband was being very close to a good friend of our it turned out they was having a affair it hit me really hard we got divorced and they got married that was 20 years ago my husband didn't tell anyone that he had left me because he didn't want anyone to think bad of him you're friend could have done the same perhaps if you said to 1 of your friends do you think I did the right thing losing my temper with what ever her name is and see their reaction I bet she hasn't told them the real reason she won't want them to think bad of her she won't to be miss little 2 shoes

Oh dear, that’s really hurtful. You say you’ve been in a long term relationship. Do you mean you were married before and friend was flirting with your ex-husband or your present partner?

I'll come back with proper response - pressed for time. Just laughing because I knew the "so" would rub someone up the wrong way! Some of you were so lucky to have a classical kind of education! Mine was very haphazard in small primary school. but in Grammar school we were encouraged to write in a style suitable for the subject.
I like this "so"

will be back with reply on the topic. so sorry to hear of this. happened to me. see you soon...

So ..... this is my opinion .... I must be trendy as I often start things with “so” . I also think it’s nice too that younger people come onto Gransnet for an older and wiser perspective ??
Lots of good advice on here, I too would move on and find new friends, totally out of order to flirt with your husband. I would also make sure the other “friends” know the truth tho, as a parting shot as you do not know what she has told them. It will help you move on too.

Friendships need watering to stay alive if they are not making any effort why bother with them. I’ve stopped contacting 2 friends to see how long it takes them to contact me as over a period of 5 years it’s me that’s made the first contact every time and I feel it has to be a two way thing... who needs friends like that.

Just leave them to it and get on with your life because they will find out what she is like, An if they are true friends they will be in touch

Grannytotwins these people were not friends
.
I agree it can be hard to make new friends but acquaintances can grow into friends and getting out and interacting with people is the only way to make acquaintanceships.
OP is a young mum, and I think those first months and years with a baby was the time many of us formed lasting friendships with NCT/ante-natal/toddlers group Mums. Work colleagues or child free friendships can so easily fall by the wayside when your circumstances are so different.

Don't be a pedant Bluebelle. It is unbecoming when someone is hurt and pouring their heart out. Eelouisa, friendships don't always last forever. People change. As others have said, you can find new ones with whom you have things in common. When you meet new people, start by being a really good listener -something I preach but don't practise nearly often enough. Good luck.

The person who flirted and messaged your partner was totally in the wrong and you were right to call her out on it. I don't know how you phrased things but I definitely agree with you in principle.

You could, if determined to stay in the same friendship group or at least friends with the nicer ones, show the flirty texts to them.

In your situation, I think I'd not bother. Do you need them?

Try and find other friends and interests. Not always easy, I suppose.

Dear eelouisa are they truly friends. You have nothing to loose so approach the one that you always get on with and ask her what is going on, it is obviously that the one who was flirting with your husband has had her say so have yours. Go out and get proper friends. I have recently taken early retirement and outside work due to working long hours I find myself without many friends. I know I have to bite the bullet and go and make friends. Join some groups and make your friends, you will surprise yourself. Good luck and forget fake friends. Xxx

So easy to say make new friends. It’s not. I’ve just been excluded from my group of friends. They range from 20s to 50s and suddenly they have decided that I’m too old to be part of the socialising any more. I’ve cried all day yesterday and all night. My face is so swollen that my iPhone facial recognition doesn’t know me. You have my sympathy OP. You’re not alone.

It won’t be easy but time to make new friends. If one of them had contacted you after your flirty friend caused trouble it might be different. She will eventually do the same with them so maybe Karma eventually. There are nice people in the world do seek them out and not this bunch of misfits!

Sounds to me as if you are better off without them now.
You will make new friends that suit you in time.

I can’t get past the fact you started your thread with .....So ...?

It’s a generational thing Bluebelle ........

There is honesty and there is honesty to the point of rudeness. I'm not talking about the woman who was playing games with your husband (who obviously needed a bit of blunt talking) but generally. Tact is not dishonesty. Consideration for people's feelings is not dishonesty. Pause before thinking and if your comment is honest but is going to hurt someone, ask yourself whether it is really necessary.
Losing any group of friends even if it was not really working out is still a loss that can be painful to bear but it is just part of life.

As the jokes say, I've got two words for you. Move on.

I thought this was GRANSnet? MUMSnet (for mums with babies etc) is another network?:/

About three years ago I introduced one of my oldest friends to my neighbour who is a newish friend. They hit it off. Now they go out together and my old friend visits my new friend and because this all happens next door to me I see and hear them often. I did say to my old friend that it makes me feel uncomfortable and she accused me of being childish and has cut contact with me. At first I was devastated but I have now accepted the situation. I am still friendly with my next door neighbour it would be so uncomfortable if I wasnt. and we are all in our seventies!

If you’ve got a new baby I guess you’re fairly young (compared to me anyway). One thing I’ve learned is that groups of friends come and go as you move through life. Maybe only one or two stay the course. And, as I found out, even after 50 years, people change and a friendship can reach its end.

It’s always hurtful to be rejected but I’d just let them go. Plenty of new friends out there. ?

I can’t get past the fact you started your thread with .....
So .?

Why waste any time on them? They were not real friends, just a group you hung out with and were clearly peripheral to the group.

Find other interests, whether hang-gliding or cross stitch and make new friends where you have a solid common interest.

I do not think you were particularly outspoken. A friend trying to flirt with your partner, is not on and I see no reason for not calling her out as you did. Someone who acts like that is impervious to hints or sublety. It is full on 'hand off' or nothing.

Time to move on.

They probably find your black or white outlook a little too feisty for comfort.

When you called out your friend, did you call out your husband too?

Congratulations on the new baby. That must have been shared on another thread.

A friend does not flirt with another friend's husband.