Change of holiday plans

I totally agree regarding selfish people on flights, the last flight we ever did from Shamal Sheik Airport was horrendous. It was at the same time as the Cairo riots were taking place, and all British people were trying to return to the uk as many companies they worked for withdrew from the area, so the flights were full. Although we had paid extra to sit together, our seats were across an isle, so next to.me l had a girl in her twenties, and a todler about 2yrs old. Her partner sat a few rows back with others who obviously knew him. As soon as the seat belt signs went off after takeoff, girl takes little one and leaves him with her partner then returns to sit next to.me occupying the window seat. Without asking me first if l minded, she tipped up the arm rests and swong her legs up.high heel boots still on, and made herself comfortable to go to sleep. Her boot heels were digging into the side of my leg, and she was fidgeting a lot in her sleep. I tried placing my small travelbag inbetween her and my leg, but she just tutted and said something in her language that l could not understand. This was 6.5 hr flight, so when the hostesses came around with the trolley, l asked them if l could be moved, but no such luck as this was a full flight. I dont know what would have been worse,her tired and crying todler for the entire flight or being kicked as she happily used his seat to make herself a bed. It certainly put me off ever flying again, and l have not done since, and that was several yeas ago now.

Would he go on a ferry? If he's worried about carbon footprint, this might be a solution and you could get to quite a few places abroad by boat.

He does seem to have sprung things on you.

If your husband is being genuinely responsible in terms of global warming then I support him all the way for doing his bit. But also as people get older they can become more nervous of flying... is he not telling you something?
But if he’s just being selfish, that’s difficult. I understand fully your desire to travel to far off places.
We are all being challenged to be more responsible because of global warming. It’s not easy as our generation has grown up being able to hop on and off planes easily. Is there something you could do/ suggest to offset your carbon footprint, if that is his issue.

Same here OH announced one day no more air travel, he isn't worried about flying just hates airports and unfortunately we have been stuck in airports late at night in the past. We love the train journeys and have done quite a few, however, I think we are considerably older than you. We have friends who only holiday in the UK, we all agree there is plenty of this country we haven't seen. So many people travel on their own now that is probably the way to go, some holidays together and some apart.

I am with your DH on this one ,debi 36.
My ideal holiday would be to buy a
fortnight’s 1st class Rover ticket and travel all over England Wales and Scotland.
May need several trips
Food and drink would be provided on the trains
We have two cats we won’t leave and I have a DH who has had his fill of travelling
You are one lucky lady.
Who wants Airports when you can have Railway Staions with first class lounges?
Go for it.

Have you ever considered a holiday onboard a Cruiseship? Many companies offer no-fly cruises with departures and returns from Uk ports and even offer a door to door service right to the dockside in many cases. The organised tours often offer a trip onboard a historic railway, we have visited the Flam railway and a Dutch train and steam boat ride through the bulb fields one year. When my husband first retired we spent a month on a transatlantic voyage out of Southampton on the P&O Arcadia, toured around the Carribean islands, and returned home via Madeira. It was soo relaxing, and not a plane insight,apart from the seaplanes we watched taking off on the tours around the islands, we even had a ride on a submarine off Barbados.

I meant to add....you can always have a balance of holidays together....but nothing wrong in doing your own thing solo!!

I can fully appreciate your DHs view. I don't mind the actual flying its having to put up with the selfish public encountered at airports in this country and on the plane. Everyone seems to think they and they alone have any rights. Saying that travelled on a late train last night and was astounded at the young girls 17/18ish and their behaviour. Two just sat and preened their hair and makeup for the whole 90 mins. Had their phones out for mirror/selfies. I so wanted to say their face hadn't changed since they had looked 30 seconds ago. The males in their company got very little conversation and started singing, probably to break the monotony. At least I had something to pass the time watching. Public transport of any kind is becoming intolerable and we are expected to give up cars!

.....I have just had a conversation with my DH about my yearning of many, many years to visit the Maldives! He really does not want to go …..too far to fly mainly....so have decided that yes - I may go on my own, but will see if I can combine it with doing some sort of charity/eco volunteer work as well!

I think you need to ask him why he doesn't want to fly anymore. Is he concerned about the environment, or has he developed a fear of lying. Has he a pacemaker?

Obviously, going by train is going to restrict your choices a great. How does he feel about sailing?

I hope you manage to sort this out.

Since my husband died over 3 years ago I have been on trips to Vietnam, Brazil and Egypt and continental holidays too. I always book an escorted trip so I don't actually have to do anything, it is all arranged for me and there are others on the same trip. All the holidays have been very enjoyable and I have loads of memories to see me through the rest of my life. I am nearly 79 and hope to go to Israel sometime this year.

Do what we do - take separate holidays. My DH took early retirement (through choice) so for the last 20-odd years we've been side by side 24/7. Also we have entirely different ideas about a 'good' holiday - for DH it's doing nothing by the pool and reading a ton of newspapers he's taken with him; for me it's visiting galleries and ruins. It's fun to go off by yourself, make new friends, even flirt a bit if you want to (!), and come home refreshed and pleased to see each other again. We do still go away together for city breaks, weekends etc which we enjoy. DH always reports seeing miserable-looking couples in the hotels he visits, presumably because one of them would rather be










somewhere else!

For years I didn’t fly and when I did I didn’t enjoy it but then I spent a day at Manchester airport on a Fear of Flying course. It was such a success that I gave since travelled to the Canadian Rockies, Australia and USA. Sometimes as we get older our fears magnify as we realise our own mortality but as they said on this course ‘we don’t reflect on death as we go to bed even though our chances of dying are higher in bed than in an aircraft’. Hope your husband may feel he could attend this wonderful course.

Could you suggest to DH..you plan a holiday for the two of us..and l will plan a holiday for the two of us..
Also..Saga have super holiday for the solo traveller, at no extra single supplement..

Have the best of both worlds ! There are some truly lovely train holidays advertised, so go with him .... then when you come back fly off on your own and experience your own dreams. Many ladies that I’ve met on my Singles holidays, do have husbands, but they either cant travel, or just don’t want to. A marriage should be about compromise, not just about what DH wants, and life’s too short to not follow your heart.

I hope you don't mind but I think I understand where he's coming from, at 64 my life feels SO precious and I've always felt air travel to be a bit risky. We don't HAVE to do it, after all. And I love trains too! There are lots of 'no-fly' cruises now, and though I've visited many countries, no place has enchanted me like the Scottish Highlands, where I go twice a year, without my husband...and by coach!

I sympathise with you, we are still entitled to our dreams. My husband made a similar pronouncement not wanting to go abroad at all. He hates airports and ferries despite us never having had any particularly bad experiences. I love holidays at home but not all the time. This year is his 70th so I announced I’m arranging for us to go to Salzburg for a week and he’s happy with that. See if your hubby will compromise on a year by year basis.

My DH and I have different ideas about holidays so we alternate. He has chosen a cruise next which wouldn't be my choice. I'm still undecided about my next choice. We have always enjoyed our holidays though.

Here’s the man in seat 61 website www.seat61.com/index-mobile.htm

The Man in Seat 61 is your friend.
Train timetables that cover most of the world. We nearly took the train to Malta this year (has to change plans so went as far as Naples). Also visited Austria, Germany, Paris & Milan on the same trip.

I’m quite keen to visit a friend in Shanghai by train - but don’t have the time. It’s doable if you have the funding though.

I don’t want to get into whether or not your husband is selfish As I don’t know him or his reasons.
My husband and I made all sorts of plans for our retirement. We were going to go here and there we looked forward even though retirement was a way off we saved for it , we planned for it we looked forward to it. Five years ago at the age of 46 my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I became his career. The only and last holiday I had with him after that, was a caravan in Weymouth and it was wonderful now makes up a wonderful memory, now he has gone.

I am not saying give up on your dreams but don’t let this get in-between you, work it out by all means but at least he still wants to take holidays with you .
In brace the change positively, see where compromises can be made, keep communicating the train may not so bad perhaps you could do some of those romantic train trips? If it’s a flying thing or environmental would he consider sailing?

If it really is stale mate can you perhaps go on one break away with friends or family. There are many friends’ social groups on line full of women looking for traveling buddies. My friend has met many of females all over the world this way and goes all around the world either with them or to meet them. Girlfriend social.com is one such group. A place woman to meet to meet women for friendship only.
Wishing you the best.

Oh dear, Debi36, it must be a shock to you. However, to be positive, there are some wonderful train journeys worldwide, and if you have no time restrictions (apart from work!) there is no limit to where you can go. Best of luck.

I remember reading once that a sign of intelligence is the ability to adapt. If he is fine with the rail alternative without you then you can follow your air travel dreams. My husband and I did this for years, very successfully. And then after 50 years of marriage......he died........and I have again adapted. I have a ready made bunch of travel companions who \i enjoy holidaying with and widowhood has not brought loneliness as we had lives independant of each other as well as together stuff.

You could do your Canadian Rockies trip and maybe only fly one way. A friend went by boat one way to New York and then with her cousin got the train to Niagara...not sure of the route of the Rocky Mountaineer but you could probably also find a boat that went direct to Canada.
We are both retired and can't stop traveling. Have been all over the world in the last 10 years and with careful planning ( the fun but) it can be done within a reasonable budget. In Australia now for 2 months....
Do spend money locally when you travel and self cater using local produce so as not to put too much burden on the planet.

If you can’t persuade him, maybe take a long trip by yourself. He may find being alone makes him think again!