The challenge of a new relationship at 70!

Hi Sparkling - you won't meet anyone within your own four walls every night. Perhaps you were being lighthearted.

To OP - there are bound to be some differences between you but I think compromise is the key thing.

I wish you the best of luck. Don't be pushed into anything.

Congratulation Phillipa, he sounds lovely but you can't really expect to join all the things he wants to do but a little compromise and I'm sure it will be fine. I have been widowed a long time, never met anyone, I'm beginning to wonder what my late husband saw in me, something no one else did. I never wanted anyone else really, still miss him every day, but it would have been nice just a little interest.? Bradford lass how come you're turning them down left right and centre, it must be good for your ego. Where are you going to meet them? Honestly, I watch the tele every night and no ones turned up at my door.?

My experience may differ from others in that I never, ever wanted anything other than a casual relationship from any man after I was widowed.

I made this very clear from the start, so when someone tried to impose what they wanted and made me feel guilty for not wanting to spend the evening in a noisy jazz club, for instance, when I had clearly told them that was not my style I backed away.

I know this sounds very selfish but I too was settled and happy and enjoyed being alone most of the time but, like you, felt the occasional companion for the theatre or out for a meal, would be nice.

Sadly, although I had plenty of chances to date in my 50's and 60's, they were all looking for someone to live with, be with them in their old age and possibly sickness. All were lovely men well known to me personally but we didn't want the same things from a relationship.

I had enough nursing with my poor husband and would not go willingly go into that sort of lifestyle for the sake of a dinner companion.

So now I don't bother dating at all, even when asked, which very occasionally I am.

I'm still a terrible flirt though.

Thank you all for your supportive comments and sorry for my late reply. I am taking things at an easy pace and continuing my own life commitments, friendships and interests. He has eased up on needing me to do things...I think he was nervous too. It’s lovely to spend time with someone I really enjoy being with and it does take time to get to know someone ... am looking for the similarities and accepting there will be difference.

Hmm, reading between the lines I don’t think this will be a long term relationship. You sound too different. Maybe keep him as a friend, not a partner.

Certainly do not rush into anything and keep doing everything that pleases you and not just for your new partner,has he a tendency to like to get his own way maybe a previous partner has always given in to him.
Go slowly and point out to him things that may interest him and gain him a wider circle of friends.

My advice would be don't rush into anything,keep your own life going and don't feel you need to adjust your life to keep him happy.
Enjoy doing activities with him that you get pleasure out of,try new things to see if you may actually enjoy them, but be free to say I've tried now I know they aren't for me.
A relationship should enhance your life not take it over completely.

I agree with all DoraMarr has said. Sit down and have a chat so you can gently explain that these activities don't suit you. You should not feel under any pressure do do anything you don't want to do, unless you are happy to do a little bit of compromising now and then. Always talk things over. Do not let him call all the shots, but encourage him to join with others for his activities and help him find his own fulfilment.

I suppose that it's like all relationships in that comprise is necessary. It's early days yet but as long as the balance is right there's no need to be in each others pockets. Just take things as they come and do the things that you are comfortable with.

First of all, congratulations!
Don’t feel you have to do everything your partner wants you to. You seem to be a well adjusted person with a full life of your own, and I think you should see this new relationship as adding to that and not overtaking it. I was in a similar situation, so I can understand how cautious you are. My advice would be to take things slowly, and not change your life too drastically. If he is new to the area he is probably relying on you too much. Perhaps gently point him in the direction of societies and clubs catering for his interests, where he will meet others with a similar outlook, and join him in activities you both enjoy.