Step-daughters taking my DH out without me

Piles?

You like to criticise posters.

Mmmmkay... What shall we call that?

It's an unpleasant expression but describes the action well.
It sounds like a childish bullying type of behaviour. I for one am glad to be made aware of this. Must be careful......

‘Dogpiling’ - what an unpleasant expression.
Craftergran don’t take any notice of ananimous. I don’t know what her problem is & don’t care either, but there was nothing wrong with any of your posts, in my opinion.

craftergran
There is nothing wrong with your post and you are entitled to express your opinion whether others agree or not.

Mothers are special, whether good or bad, it's hard to get away from that fact.

paddyanne my comment about annihilating someone was directed at ananimous re her unnecessarily unpleasant comments to craftergran

I dont think the OP's STEPdaughters are annihilating her..they just want to be with their dad on mothers day.Their DAD who was married to their mother and who knew her better than anyone else .Its not a crime ,for heavens sake and "hurt" and insecure is OTT in my opinion ,The OP didn't know these young women as children ,she came into their life while they were still grieving their mother and it may well be that they felt unable to talk to their dad about mum before now.I will repeat'''she is not their mother so they dont need to spend mothers day with her.I would hope my children would be able to spend mothers day with their dad if I died before him .

*@Mary52

You just cannot replace a mother.

@Mary52
Make a big day of it with other people - and a bit of councelling thrown in won't hurt the situation going forward.

A spa day is on my agenda for Mothering Sunday.

As I am well aware ananimous. I lost my beloved Mum less than a year ago but I can still celebrate motherhood in her honour without annihilating other people in the process.

You just cannot replace a mother.

ananimous I really have no idea what on earth you are on about with this dogpiling nor why you have been so rude in singling out craftergran in the process. She is as entitled to her views as you are.

Mary52 I think if I was in your shoes I would feel the same way. What normally happens on Mothering Sunday in your family? How would your husband respond if you told him you weren't entirely comfortable about them choosing that particular day?
I have a different viewpoint to some other posters who feel that Mothering Sunday is simply about commercialism. In our family it is a celebration of motherhood, mine, my daughters and my daughter in law.

No it wasn't sarcasm. I went and looked up the meaning, came back and wrote the post and had not seen your post explaining until after I posted.

I don't know you, (or anyone else on gransnet) I was not aware that other posters maybe disagreed with you earlier in the post, other than page 5. I posted once on page 1, then posted again today in the posts on page 5 and here. Please do not take your previous experiences on this forum and lay them at my door. I simply posted in defence of the OP. I have apologised to you.

I won't post again on this thread.

Maybe we could have a thread on dogpiling to get it out of your systems?

dogpile #101 For those who need explanation...

A disagreement on an Internet message board wherein one person says something wrong or offensive, and a large number of people comment in response to tell the person how wrong and/or horrible they are, and continue to disparage the original commenter beyond any reasonable time limit.

Oh (that's your sarcasm) got it.

Why look it up? - I posted the explanation for you especially.

craftergran Apology accepted.

It's a problem that happens a lot on Gransnet. I'm not putting up with it anymore though.

Report a post if you must but lay off people and be kind.

She is insistant about this imho. That is not a personal attack, merely a factual observation. Upon which she can be logical.

I am sorry. I did not intend to dogpile on you. (Had to look it up)

I just feel op is being accused of mean things, when she is hurt. Though I do feel she is wrong at feeling hurt with her husbands daughters when it seems clear to me, he is the one who has hurt her AND his own daughters over the years.

dogpile #101

A disagreement on an Internet message board wherein one person says something wrong or offensive, and a large number of people comment in response to tell the person how wrong and/or horrible they are, and continue to disparage the original commenter beyond any reasonable time limit.

People commenting at the same time, without realizing others are jumping on the person as well, do not make a dogpile. The requirement is to join in with an angry group to yell at an easy target, or to get popularity points for being seen to agree with the group. They see that everyone else is doing something, and they copy it.

The original commenter typically does not respond at all, because they are completely overwhelmed or scared off. Once a dogpile has been established, an apology from the original commenter is less likely to be effective.

@crafter Please don't start dogpiling on me again.

Ananimous I don't think she has insisted they choose her. She hasn't mentioned it to them or her husband.

She has mentioned she is hurt.

For me the most surprising aspect of the OP is that Mary52 has said she would never dream of going out on a special day with her own sons.

In our family it’s the norm to spend time alone with family members when we can. My husband has just arranged to go and spend a couple of days with our daughter in May (while her husband is away) and next week I’ll be spending an evening alone (and staying the night) with my youngest son. I occasionally meet up with my eldest son’s wife for lunch and she is quite at ease about me meeting up with my son in the same way. My husband goes on holiday with one or both of our sons too.

I guess if it’s not been the norm for Mary52 to have time alone with her own sons it can feel exclusionary that her stepdaughters want to meet up with their dad, but personally I think it’s a lovely thing to happen.