Seeing someone out of a sense of duty

I would cut myself off, lick my wounds and be grateful for what I have.
I have lost touch with my sisters because they spend all their time belittling me, being rude about my DH and DCs. Why on earth should I have to put up with the rivers of tears I weep whenever we have contact. I DO love them, but... my life is a lot less painful now.

If this is a friend or a romantic interest I would walk away you deserve better than this and even if you love them you will realise in time that for your own well being it was the best . If it’s close family I wouldn’t cut ties maybe see them occasionally and dont expect too much .

If it was my child or grandchild I would hang on grimly no matter what and try to be grateful for the few crumbs they are prepared to give. Because that would be better than losing them altogether.
But if it was a friend or lover my pride would force me to stop contact, I think, before they do. I've sort of been in this situation and it's not easy.

It's very hard to advise when the nature of the relationship isn't clear?
If it's a friend, a "romantic" partner.....personally, I'd write a letter saying how events had made me feel and I'd be saying goodbye at that point.
Family....again, how close?

I think it would be helpful to know the poster's relationship to this person. If they are either a "friend" or a "lover", I would move on from this person and not bother with them again. If they are a close relative, then (maybe) I'd lower my expectations and try to meet them from time to time, knowing that this was going to be brief meeting with no real "sharing".

I suppose as others have said it does depend who it is. I must admit it could be one of my sons at one point or another but if it’s a girlfriend or a more ‘romantic’ type of friendship maybe let it go.

sidapop depends what relative, if it was a child of mine I would know they had problems and yes I would hang in there however hurtful because it would be better than losing them and I would always be hopeful of a new beginning but that’s just me and I understand not everyone would tolerate it even from a child
If Sparkling is taking about a friend definitely let it go a lesser relative, cousin, in law etc again let it go but if it’s a child I couldn’t, as much as I d perhaps know for my mental health it would be the right thing to do, I could never give up on any of my children, never. I d continue with the uncomfortable meetings praying one day they soften and show me the same level of love I have for them

You could keep the contact going with the monthly text Sparkling but not agree to actually meet as it sounds as if these meetings are particularly stressful and upsetting.

"You're glad when it's over because you feel wretched"; don't put yourself through this, say you can't make the date and time being suggested. Maybe if you do this a few times when you do eventually meet, this person will make it a more pleasurable experience.

I hope so.

Doesn't sound like a friend to me either Sparkling, I think I would be reducing or stopping this contact which is obviously distressing for you. I don't entirely go along with tolerating this if it was a family member, surely kindness and good manners should be shown to relatives as well.

It depends on who it is. It doesn't sound like a friend to me. I would try to strengthen up myself and sit it out.

Think I would reduce contact to birthday and Christmas, assuming it was a relative, under these circumstances. If the door is kept ajar there's always the chance of a reconciliation of sorts.

I agree gagajo I guess I would take anything from a child or grandchild but I would probably have to cut myself off from the person you describe Sparkling as it’s a constant rip rip rip of your heart
They don’t care about you as you do them, you really have to accept that you are getting nothing but heartache from this very sparse ‘relationship’
So in answer to your last question yes in the words of Disney ‘let it go’ it’s a scab you keep picking, let it heal
Be strong

A "friend" yes, I'd say goodbye.
Family no, I'd stick with it. They're texting you after all.
Sounds uncomfortably like one of my sons at one stage, but things are much better now.

I would cut myself off for the sake of my own peace of mind. The sharp pain at the beginning would have to be worth it.

I say this about someone that ISN'T my child however. I would tolerate this if it were my child/grandchild.