Sis - in - law

Your SiL is a bully. I think it's time to take the gloves off (pardon the topical pun) and perhaps have a quiet but forceful word with her on your own. Using all the other tactics isn't working and if she's going to be around for the rest of your lives, time to take action before the situation begins to affect your health. Why is it proving difficult to distance yourself? This means you're letting her control you. Take back control. It's your life and as we are all aware at this moment in time, it can be very,very short indeed. Happy Sunday.

Not sure how old you are or whether you are in a 'vulnerable' category with regard sto Corona virus but this could be a very good reason for not wanting anyone in your house - not even family! You could ring them and let them know before the next visit and say you have a 'self-imposed isolation strategy. Have you tried speaking with your brother about this?

I agree with others. If your SiL (and family) turn up unannounced, do not let them in. Be going out, sick, etc, as advised by GNs here. Or could you simply not answer the door?

Presumably you let them in to your home? Firstly you must prep DH & if she turns up uninvited at your door waiting to come in, you both are ready with these strategies: you are just going out (shopping, cinema, going for drive/walk to blow cobwebs away); you or DH have awful headaches; stomach upset; feel sick; both got temperatures ..... etc. etc. The key to these sorts of people is to stop them in their tracks with your changed behaviour/tactics/strategies. It may take a couple of goes, but once you’ve done it, you will gain confidence to kick her into touch. Deep breath and get the equilibrium back in your life. It’s in your hands. Good luck.

I despair,, dh deal with your sister.. or else!

Be upfront and tell her she is not welcome at your home and ask your dh to stand by your decision .
I had a sil and did just that.
She apologised many years later but I still don`t bother with her.

I echo endlesstrife. A reasonable and sensible first step.
If she contacts you again after that, cough and snuffle a lot and use this appalling virus as an excuse to keep her at bay for a while. Even if she is brick thick, she surely would not want to chance catching it......
Thereafter, just say NO!!

When I feel my darling family have stayed long enough after lunch I say I have to take the dog out. It gives me some peace and quiet and when I return they are usually packing to go.

Life is just too short to tolerate people like this who make you feel angry, upset etc If your husband won’t deal with her, tell him you will. It’s irrelevant if she is family or not, she just has no right to inflict her nastiness on you. Your life is a garden, start weeding, and tell her the reasons why you will no longer tolerate her behaviour.

If she is rude to your face try the 'Pardon?' technique and make her repeat the rude comment and once you have made her repeat it twice say'that's what I thought you said but I assumed I'd misheard' and smile sweetly. Disarm her. Dont worry what she says to others they will know what she is like.

Please don’t put up with this. Show her and your husband this post. If your husband finds it hard to deal with, he’ll probably be grateful you do. You’re just enabling her, and it’s not fair on on any of you. Good luck?

The very best thing about my divorce was losing my sister-in-law! OK, it’s a bit drastic, but ........

My husband won’t tackle it. He’s a bit of a woose.

Ha ha @SueDonim! ?? Although I don’t wish her any ill.

Thankyou @ MawB! Great suggestion. I will definitely use that, I think. However, I don’t really want her in my home if I’m not there.

Your husband should be tackling this as it’s his sister. But maybe Coronavirus will bring about a remedy.

Could you say you are going to be out?
Or if you really can’t stop her coming arrange for a friend to ring/drop round/pick you up after a minimum acceptable time (to you)-OK 45 seconds!
Other than that I would let your DH cope with her on his own and if he can’t stand her either he might back you up next time!