Aspergers partner? (Edited by GNHQ)

After a diagnostic assessment I used to spend a lot of time with partners discussing the implications and the necessity of working out adjustments to ways of living with someone with AS especially altering expectations. Eg one individual was never going to be a party animal and it was distressing for him to attend social occasions. So just don't put him through it if he really doesn't want to go. Equally I'd offer the partner with AS strategies for coping in social settings if he absolutely had to.
Lots to discuss and work out. Top tip- look at what they do rather than what they might say.

Thank you. I just read the article and feel as if someone has sat and watched my life for the last 10 years. Now what though? It seems likely that he will not see any logic or gain in talking to a specialist. He knows more than them, whoever they are or whatever they know... ?

Wow having just skimmed through this article it has more or less confirmed what i thought about my DH for many years now. He has always had difficulties relating to people and holding down a job and from what his mother told me when he was young he was very different to her other children and caused many issues within the family circle. Years ago he would have been termed as 'naughty' as there was no Aspergers or Autism information freely available like there is now. It explains an awful lot about our marriage and quiet frankly has left me feeling very tearful for what may have been and should have been but sadly never was or will be. Thank you for the link Juliet27

So half the thread is taken up arguing about whether to be offended! Typical.Why not just discuss the question about partners?

namsnanny I’ve sent you a pm

Does anyone have any advice on good books about living with adults (husband?) who may have this condition?

I would find it helpful I think.

No SallyWally1, it isn't easy. I'm pretty sure my husband has high functioning autism. My daughter and all her children have been diagnosed as neurodiverse. Daughter granddaughter and middle grandson have high functioning autism eldest and youngest grandsons have ADHD, and eldest grandson also has tourette syndrome.
We all recognise the traits in my husband. Fortunately I love him dearly, but he can be trying.

I struggled over the years with other half’s strange behaviour. Then some years ago I was watching a programme on the TV about Aspergers (having never heard of it before) and other half poked his head round the door and said his colleagues at work had commented that he might have it (he disputed this). Suddenly years of strange behaviour and comments crystallised in my head and I understood things I had mis read before. Since then I have perhaps become more tolerant of such things as rages, intolerance, and rigid ways of thinking. It’s not easy though.

It's a condition

Is autism a syndrome?

Starblaze

Thank you for saying that "Autism is no longer a spectrum but an umbrella. Makes a lot more sense".

I agree. From my own observation it seems to me there are different "kinds" of autism. Aspergers, for example, presents quite differently to Pathological Demand Avoidance. Though they both come under the "umbrella" of Autism.

To me it seems a more helpful way to understand things than simply saying that a person is "on the spectrum". So I am glad it is now being more understood this way.

Juliet27, I have sent you a Pm & best wishes?

The concept of neurodiversity is not new. It covers a wide variety of conditions.

It really is an umbrella, not a spectrum

Even the term ‘on the spectrum’ is going out of favour. My GS has just been diagnosed and the new term is ‘neurologically diverse’.

It is offensive in the sense that saying someone is an ‘ Aspie’
Implies that this is the ONLY ‘thing’ they are.

OP I hope you are able to access help & information regarding this subject, best wishes

I’m almost sure my husband is Autistic (could be Asperger’s). Wasn’t immediately obvious to me till after we were married and his behaviour became more noticeable. Too late to get a diagnosis now though. He’s in his late 60’s. Been difficult over the years but I have learned to treat him the same way I taught my autistic pupils so things have calmed down a lot.

I'm sure they will change again. It is a learning curve for everyone involved.

However, Jane we have one thing in common, we want to support the people we work/worked with.

Depends on whether you're looking at the American classification or the European one. There are flaws in both especially the American one. I could go on but this isn't the place for it!

You are speaking from your vast experience Jane working, I presume, with adults and I'm speaking from my own in an education setting.

I'm not pearl clutching, but I know that if I used that terminology in the context of a school, it would be deemed to be unacceptable and I would be reprimanded.

In my career, working closely with pupils on the autistic spectrum disorder and joint support teams, including educational psychologists, I have never heard that term used, either by pupils, parents or professionals,
GN is for all to express their opinions, which I hope will be respected.

Aspergers isn't a thing anymore. It's Autism Spectrum Condition. Changed from Disorder as that implies it can be cured. Autism is no longer a spectrum but an umbrella. Makes a lot more sense.

Jane10 my son takes Sertraline for anxiety and depression .

I note the thread title change with irritation. If some people who have been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome want to refer to themselves as Aspies that's their prerogative. Non AS people may not like it but that's tough. I'd liken it to how some members of the gay community are happy to call themselves 'queer' but non gay people hesitate to use that word!
This thread is about an article that used the word 'Aspie'. It was quite reasonable to use it in the title. Moderator pearl clutching?

Anxiety was more of an issue than depression.

Jane10 I'm curious, what proportion of the adults you worked with, if any, were on anti depressants ?