Gransnet forums


Missing grandchildren.

(23 Posts)
Londonwifi Fri 01-May-20 20:29:36

My grandchildren, twins, boy and girl live in Canada. I know it sounds weird but I’m missing them more now that we’re in lockdown. The strange thing is that we are Skyping just the same amount as we normally do. So odd!

Serendipity22 Fri 01-May-20 20:40:17

I cannot agree more with you Londonwifi ... my son lives in Canada with his wife and daughter and I have a huge weight inside me that is missing him ... them... more than I ever did before....

I can only pin this heavy feeling on the unprecedented situation we are in at this present time .....

Wewill get through this and you will be reunited and you can fling your arms around them and smother them in kisses.... * it will take place* flowers

Jane10 Fri 01-May-20 22:40:14

I suppose in normal circumstances you could theoretically jump on a plane tomorrow and literally see them next day. The feeling that you couldn't actually do that maybe contributes to your feeling it so badly? Sad all round.

jeanie99 Mon 04-May-20 00:40:47

I also miss my children and grandchildren so much, thank goodness for whatsap and facetime what would we do without technology.

Calendargirl Mon 04-May-20 07:20:36

what would we do without technology?

We’d have to manage I suppose. Makes you wonder, as the anniversary of VE Day approaches, how people got through the war, not knowing when or if they would ever see loved ones again, not knowing if their husbands or sons were alive or dead if posted as ‘missing’.
Men serving overseas, not knowing if babies had been born, what sex they were, would they ‘bond’ with them when or if they returned.
We worry about the effects on mental health with the corona virus, must have been huge mental health issues back then, but all swept under the carpet with a ‘Keep Carrying On’ slogan.

razzmatazz Mon 04-May-20 09:58:29

I miss my grandchildren and see them when they come to my front garden or I walk to the other lot and stand in the driveway to talk but it is not like hugging them . I ache to hug and kiss them .

4allweknow Mon 04-May-20 10:03:53

We all know what it's like when we are told we can't do or have something- we want it all the more. Think it's that syndrome a lot of us are feeling.

GrandmaMia1 Mon 04-May-20 10:06:54

I think all of us are missing our grandchildren. Maybe the way forward is to think that by not seeing them you are keeping them safe. We have Covid much worse in the UK than Canada due to our slow lockdown. My grandchildren are aboard and even when lockdown is over I will not be taking any risks in traveling to see them for a long while. They are in a country where lockdown was prompt and Covid is few. I also wonder if any countries will allow travellers from UK in for many months. Enjoy your Skype time, stay safe.

Coconut Mon 04-May-20 10:12:12

One of my granddaughters is 15 next week and the thought of not seeing her is tough. We are in constant touch, texts, emails, phone calls, Zoom etc but it’s that lack of a physical hug that hurts the most. I know we are keeping each other safe etc but the emotional tug is so strong.

timetogo2016 Mon 04-May-20 10:20:06

I`m missing my Grandchildren so much.
I can`t wait to see their little faces.
I miss the fact that when ever they saw me they run up to me and give me a huge hug and kiss.
We were supposed to have a get together next week for my 60th.
my heart hurts knowing i can`t see them or my son`s and my d`inlaws.
It`s going to be the worst day ever and as daft as it seems,if they phone me i will go to pieces.
Stay safe all.

MamaCaz Mon 04-May-20 11:00:40

Strangely, I am 'seeing' more of one dgs (nearly 9) than I ever did before lockdown.
He is video calling me on Messenger several times a week. He isn't calling for any particular reason, and doesnt have a lot to say, but seems to enjoy quietly showing me the different effects and games that are available. He must be bored, but whatever the reason, it's nice to see him 😊
I also see the youngest (nearly 2) at least once a day via WhatsApp, so although I can't give her a cuddle, at least I don't feel i'm missing out on seeing her growing up.

vickymeldrew Mon 04-May-20 11:28:30

Oh London I couldn’t agree more! I have a DGS in Canada. We talk a lot over the phone as he’s a sociable 11 year old . My visit in April was cancelled of course.
Not wishing to be too negative but, until we have a treatment, a vaccine, and assuming we can actually get travel insurance and Air Canada are still flying, and we can afford the huge increase in fares - we won’t be going anywhere soon !
In the nicest possible way, those whose DGC are in the same country as themselves are VERY lucky.

GreenGran78 Mon 04-May-20 12:05:24

I get a video call from my DD in Oz most days around 11am, when my 3 year old GD is having her bedtime bath. She splashes around, telling me what she has done that day, sings to me, and giggles when I ask her if she EVER gets out of that bath. I sometimes see them at their breakfast time, too, when it is my bedtime.
I am looking forward to seeing my new grandson very soon. He’s due to be born any time in the next week or two, but very sad that I can’t have cuddles with either of them for the foreseeable future.
I’m glad that they are a lot safer over there. Australia has been far more sensible than we have, with a quick lockdown, quarantining everyone entering the country, and most travelling between States or any distance from home requiring a permit. Most of the deaths over there have been people taken from cruise ships, or people arriving from abroad. Only about 100 over the whole country. They are starting to relax the contact rules a little already, so my DIL will, at least, be able to let her parents have some cuddles with the new baby, when he arrives.

It’s sad that I don’t know when I will see them next, and have to console myself with distanced visits from my local granddaughter, who is 21.

There’s nothing we can do about it, except be grateful for the internet.

Patticake123 Mon 04-May-20 12:42:05

Absolutely understand, mine are in New York, I see them on FaceTime or Zoom very regularly but I’m missing them more than ever.

Bamm Mon 04-May-20 13:49:52

My only grandchildren live in the USA and I know just what you mean. I think it is because , in my case anyway, I know that I absolutely can't visit now. Usually I visit them each spring and seeing them each week on Skype or Messenger is good, but it makes me so sad that I can't visit this year.

Missgran Mon 04-May-20 13:49:57

Happy birthday for your 60th I feel the same I can stand at the gate to talk to them but it is not the same I feel sad when they have gone

Bluecat Mon 04-May-20 14:08:44

My daughter and family are in the USA, which is the worst affected country, of course. They have been isolating for weeks, and my daughter runs a very tight ship! No going in or out, and her eldest daughter has to talk to her boyfriend though a glass door.

The one I worry about is my eldest grandson who lives in an apartment with his girlfriend. The restaurant where he works has been closed for a month but it re-opens on May 7th. He has to go back to work because he needs the money. It will be only for takeaway at the moment but Trump is very keen to start up the economy, so the restaurant may soon be completely open. I have begged my grandson to be careful and he promised me that he will be, but he is so young and the young think nothing can harm them. I worry because I love him dearly.

I don't think I miss my grandchildren in the USA any more than usual, it's the regular visits from the UK ones I miss most. However, the disappointment of not being able to visit the USA as planned makes me sad. May not even be able to afford it, anyway, if half of the airlines go bust.

Londonwifi Mon 04-May-20 17:15:48

Thanks for all the replies. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s individual stories. Keep safe all.

Flygirl Mon 04-May-20 23:34:49

For some of us who are denied the opportunity to see our grandchildren at all, the poignancy of lockdown sadly makes no difference. My darling grandsons (aged 10 and 4) live only 2 miles away, but they may as well be in Canada. My birthday was Saturday and there was not a peep from my son or grandsons.

2mason16 Tue 05-May-20 01:31:29

Not wanting to disrespect anyone but many people in UK live permanently with not seeing GC year in year out. In our cul de sac alone there are 5 sets of GP's whose families live abroad. My best friend who is in her 70's and unable to travel far hasn't seen hers for 2 yrs and with the situation now doesn't know when she will see them. Fortunately the skype and chat every week to her.
For most of you this will be a temporary thing and you will again gets your much needed cuddles and hugs.

timetogo2016 Tue 05-May-20 10:02:17

Thank you Missgran.
Sending you an air hug.

Rebecca3 Tue 05-May-20 13:07:16

FLY GIRL your message was SO sad. I feel for you so deeply. Having grandchildren that aren't available to you in this way is REALLY tough. It's good that you shared it on this site, as you will know that there's a community of grandmothers who agree with me, and feel for you. I can't think of any suggestion except to write to your grandchildren? share a joke, ask how their grades are( even if they aren't encouraged to answer by their parents?) Just let them know ( even if the realisation only happens some time in the future) that you love them and think about them ( and have a sense of humour?). At least you will be there and 'exist' for them. ( Have to be careful that any communications don't come across as complaints , ( to parents , disguised) or sorry-for-self- ness, or as a rebuke to your son. People are SO touchy, especially parents). A very tricky one. I do feel for you. Would they enjoy Calvin and Hobbes? ( is Calvin and Hobbes a bit dated? Don't think so? ) Or " The 13 storey tree house", followed by "The 26 storey treehouse"...there is a whole series ( they go on and on) which a lot of kids enjoy. Lots of pictures!! ( And you could add:" please let me know if this arrives safely? " that's surely not offensive even to touchy parents? Hug.

Flygirl Sat 09-May-20 23:39:43

Rebecca 3 thank you for your suggestions, but sadly, I am almost sure anything I send does not get given to them. I sent chocolate and cards for Easter, but will never know if they received or enjoyed them. Our 10 year old GS is autistic (although it is never 'discussed' and his vocabulary is extremely limited) - so communication, even under fairly normal circumstances, was quite stunted and difficult. Our younger grandson is full of life and very funny. We last saw them for an hour in October (our quarterly allocated "time slot", as we used to call it') but things got worse with my son and his partner at Christmas. It seems they were pushing to exclude themselves from our lives completely, and it is now very doubtful we shall see or hear from them again.
I still send cards fir soecial occasions but doubt very much if they reach them. I buy identical cards and keep them here in a box, in case they come and find us when they grow up. If we are still around by then of course. No guarantees in this life. I put money into an account I have for them. My daughter has also been excluded from their lives, so we have set up an email account for them, and we write them messages on there. We shall give them the password if we see them when they are adults and they can then read a lifetime of messages from us.
In the meantime I just die a little inside every time I hear someone say how they desperately miss their grandchildren through these difficult circumstances. I do understand, but for the first time ever perhaps people can feel true empathy with us. For many, many of us grandparents, the heartache won't end, post Covid-19....often through no fault of our own.