Can you think of a time you may have made a mistake with your children?

I haven’t read your post, I haven’t read the responses. I just read the title and my answer is “Oh God yes”!
We are not perfect.
They are not perfect.
No one is. Xx

Gillybob ... good for you, you did your best.
Sorry you were unhappy though.

There is more support nowadays, so you would probably make a different decision now.

That sounds like something you couldn’t have avoided gillybob ?

As a young single mother I dragged my baby boy out of bed at stupid o’clock every day . I took a bus from our dingy flat into the next town and dropped him at a nursery where he stayed all day while I worked. I picked him up after work and we took the bus home again, we were both exhausted and very, very unhappy . What price dignity ? I wouldn’t do it these days .

Never left my two boys in a hotel room or anything like that. But I'm sure I probably made every other mistake in the book.

I watched a tv programme about parenting the other day. It had 3 couples with different views on parenting and after exchanging visits etc the audience were to chose the best parents, the one they chose were a couple who among other things believed in smacking. That did surprise me.
The other contenders were a Couple whose view was that children should be central and the other, a single mum, believed she the mum should be central and her child should fit in with her.
To be continued this week. It was interesting.

Loads!
But they survived and we all get on fine.

My ‘best’ bad-mother moment was probably when dds were about 10 and 13 - being such a pain, making a racket with half serious fighting, which got the dog joining in with endless barking.
I begged them over and over to be quiet, to no avail.
So I ran away! Yes, dear GNers, I really did. Dh was away for work, and I got in the car and drove over 2 hours to a friend I hadn’t seen for ages. Had a lovely evening with lots of ?and chat - it was lovely - stayed the night, drove back next day.
Dds and dog were fine. I think dds did get a major shock though!
I can’t say I’ve ever regretted it.

Another thing - my name and that of the other mother involved were mud with other school mothers for ages afterwards, but after a lot of hesitation we allowed our dds, both 13, to go on a day trip to Calais on their own (trains and ferry) in order to (as they said) to practise their French and have an adventure.
There were many exhortations about staying together and Don’t Do Anything Silly! - and I won’t pretend I wasn’t having a few kittens until they were safely back, but they were fine.

I don’t think I’d allow it now, though! Things were a mite different nearly 30 years ago.

I think many kids miss out on the ability to be bored, make up their own imaginative games with other children, not to be be supervised at every second of the day. I can’t believe there are so many perfect parents on here.

Bringing up my son was a minefield of mistakes but he’s turned out ok. We never left him alone in a hotel bedroom at night or any other time. Maybe we were lucky to stay at places that had good babysitting services and early kids dinner times or the kids could with the adults. Some hotels had a kids supper club.

DS about 10 days old - went shopping locally with baby in pram and our dog , across the park , into a small Sainsburys , all fine.
On the way home dog very agitated and pulling me back , not usual behaviour . I was halfway home before I realised what he was trying to tell me - you can guess the rest !!
Never run so fast in my life - nor had the dog !

I've made plenty of mistakes (haven't we all?) but would never have left them unattended and unsupervised.

In fact, I was criticised on one holiday. A father demanded to know why they weren't in the holiday activity club with all the other children.

I replied that it wasn't compulsory and I couldn't trust or expect the leaders to prevent sunburn and respond to allergic reactions, so kept them safely with us.

I never left my daughter alone and went out, probably because I was poor, living in a caravan, and a single parent, so I lived in fear of having her taken off me and put into care.

Yes, we played outside as kids, but I never let my own children do it. They played in the garden. I had a few mishaps riding my bike where I shouldn’t etc, but the biggie was when a car load of men tried to get me in it. I don’t think I even told anyone, it was only years later it hit me when my own children were walking out by themselves. I think about it every time a child goes missing, and thank God that I managed to escape. The funny thing is.....I don’t remember being scared. I was just pleased I outwitted them and could run faster. What a different life I could have had.

We played outside in groups of kids for the whole day and my eldest children did too. Was that a mistake?

No - leaving children alone is something I would never contemplate, and frankly I’m astounded that it is ever even considered as an option.

But mistakes yes I’m sure I made loads. Parenting isn’t easy and all you can do is your best and a bit more.

It must be a horrible feeling when you look back. I suppose on Butlin holidays it was the norm, I've never been there. Try not to beat yourselves up for past mistakes. When I look back I wish I had done some things different.. I can remember the odd occasion we went out as a couple, it was always about the children. I think I spoilt them.

Wibby, 1 point

My neighbour's husband was a Royal Marine. When he was home on leave she used to leave her 4-year-old in bed while they went out for the evening. She lived 2 doors down from me and I used to go out in the dark to walk to her house where she'd left the door unlocked for me to check on him at various times. Doesn't bear thinking about now.

It was a deliberate action, but the point is that it was the action that turned out to be a mistake if you see what I mean.

Of course you are right Wibby so grateful you are able to point that out.

I was just talking about this to my other half this afternoon. But for the grace of God...and all that.

I would think there are thousands of parents who have left their child in a hotel room while they went to the bar/restaurant. Many probably wouldn't admit to it now. How many children went out playing without parents? We certainly did.. from a very young age also.

Butlins - perfect example. My parents left us in room with the patrolling babysitters. If I remember rightly - they were probably in the theatre and a notice would jump up.."baby crying in chalet X"

I, for one, have never thought the McCanns were totally irresponsible, just unlucky. As a result though people are now more aware. I just wish they could get some closure and somebody owns up. I am sure they have resigned themselves to never seeing their child again but this uncertainty must be the worst any parent can endure.

My heart goes out to them.

Leaving a child/children at home alone or in a locked room whilst on holiday is not a mistake its a deliberate action!

OMG! Surely as parents we have all done things that, with the wonderful wisdom of hindsight, we maybe shouldn't have done. Just sometimes someone does something very similar and there is a catastrophic and desperately heartbreaking outcome. Surely our hearts just weep for those families and we are quietly grateful that it wasn't us and this time we and our family were just lucky.

Yes, we’ve probably all had narrow escapes that could have turned out very differently. Culture too can make such a difference, reading the posts about Germany and the Netherlands. Thank you for all your responses, it really highlights how different things were 30 or so years ago.

Dragonfly We found the same with our German friends who couldn’t understand why we needed a babysitter and didn’t just leave the children sleeping while we went out. Their idea of babysitting was telling theit children to knock at the neighbouring flats if they woke up or were upset.
When they went camping abroad they left their two toddlers in the tent while they had evenings out. A tent! In a foreign country?!

I am sure my children could list all the many mistakes they think we made but We never left them alone.
I feel for the Family of Madeleine they will live with their guilt forever.