The discovery & maintenance of true love, with thoughts from the Bard

Hi Hugh, I suspect you are being a bit too deep for gransnet but a lot of what you say, I have queried also? Not sure love can actually be defined. Like what exactly is 'love'. Everyone will tell you differently their interpretations of it.

Love for your children, parents, animals varies but the pain you feel on losing any doesn't differ.

By same token, people confuse sex with love. My take on this is people are programmed and it is a natural instinct to reproduce. Therefore women looked for males who would be good mates. Sometimes, when that has passed they find there are no other compatabilities?

Our society says we only have one partner who we make vows to but our instincts may say otherwise? Of course many people will adhere to 'the rules' but for those who don't or can't I don't necessarily think they intend to hurt or be confusing but that is just my opinion.

With so much in the news and so much knowledge I still believe people's instincts are very basic.

Of course this is confused by other things, such as gay people who cannot naturally produce children but that is another issue.

But as you say....love is a very confusing issue?

I agree with everything you say, Valerie! But then you reach old age, become a gran, and can't naturally produce children. The basic instincts may still be there, but you look at one another, don't see those youthful signs any more that betoken a good breeding pair. As in chess, both parties ought to think of the endgame.

Obviously some people will be contented with the endgame Hugh. Some may not. Some will move on and find other things they love and admire in their partners and others will be frustrated and feel the need to explore. Who is right? Who is wrong?

Not sure which angle you are coming at this from Hugh? I don't think anyone goes into a relationship thinking it won't be for ever but circumstances, feelings, change so not every person who goes into a marriage at say 20 will still feel the same at 40 or 50 or 60.

The Bard also wrote:

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain,
But Lust's effect is tempest after sun;
Love's gentle spring doth always fresh remain,
Lust's winter comes ere summer half be done;
Love surfeits not, Lust like a glutton dies;
Love is all truth, Lust full of forged lies.

Venus and Adonis

I'd rather have a roast dinner meself.

Shakespeare understood that there were many types of love, none more important than others but some with consequences. In Romeo and Juliet he explores parental love, courtly love, first love, unrequited love, friendship as love to name but some. *None of them end well. So it's difficult to quantify. To me, all types of love have potential for good or evil depending on circumstances.
*spoiler alert! ☺

Haha EllenV. Yes, too deep ?

Like valerie I'm not sure that love can be defined.

All of us change with time physically, emotionally and often intellectually. We are not the 'same' people we were in our teenage years, 20's or the age when we met our first, or only life partner.

Then there's the love for others in our lives which is not the same as the love we have for our husband/wife. Depending on the nature of a particular relationship, the expression of our love is different.

Perhaps it would have been better if you'd asked if the love we have for those we intend to spend the rest of our lives with can be defined.

If that were the question my answer would be the same, that I'm not sure it can be.

Defining love is almost impossible, especially in the English language. We have only one word and that's to describe all the different types of love, as Smileless says in her post. Sanskrit has 96 words for love; ancient Persian has 80, Greek three, and English only one.