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To share or not to share a cottage holiday with old friends during Covid, that is the question!

(23 Posts)
Semiruralgirl Sat 25-Jul-20 08:07:59

I’m in a quandary about whether my DH and I should go on holiday with very good friends. Before the lockdown we were due to have a cottage holiday in May with these friends, plus one other. However, because of Covid, the holiday was cancelled and rebooked again for September. Now as September approaches we are feeling very uneasy about going to the cottage. We will be in a confined area with one bathroom and kitchen between 5 of us. We are in our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s! People in general are varied in there attitude to Covid. We are, on the whole, very careful. We have only seen a handful of people, keeping our distance all the time. We tend to FaceTime and Zoom others, so that we are keeping up with our families and friends and social groups and it allows us to feel less isolated. We are reluctant to start going out to lots of places, although we have had a couple of pub lunches where I was a bit dismayed to see the waiting staff didn’t wear visors, although the tables were spaced out (by the way, what is the ruling on food shop staff and waiting staff wearing masks or visors?). We haven’t seen these friends of ours for months, and although they are in their 80’s and 90’s, they are quite cavalier about their approach. They have had their cleaner resume working for them, and mix freely with their family who have already had a holiday abroad. I am happy to pay our share of the cottage so they wouldn’t be out of pocket, but I am worried it will spoil their holiday

Lucca Sat 25-Jul-20 08:14:58

For what it’s worth I, along with other friends, now feel you have to do what YOU feel comfortable with. What I am doing is if I feel a situation is a bit “iffy” I avoid it.many of the guidelines are confusing and at times seem illogical so That seems the reasonable thing to do. It’s not my place to say but your proposed holiday sounds risky. I’ve cancelled a September holiday.

Chewbacca Sat 25-Jul-20 08:21:24

Agree with Lucca, the "guidelines" are illogical and confusing and I too am doing when I feel is the right thing to do. In your situation I wouldn't go. All participants are in the vulnerable age group and the accommodation doesn't sound as though social distancing would be possible. It's a big risk.

sodapop Sat 25-Jul-20 08:45:28

I think this is a step too far Semiruralgirl you are all older people and will be living in very close proximity. Not everyone has the same views on hygiene etc which could lead to problems.
I'm sure your friends will understand and it won't stop them enjoying their holiday.

I have to say sharing facilities with four other people even in normal circumstances would test my patience.

Curlywhirly Sat 25-Jul-20 08:55:46

Well in an ideal world you could suggest that you all self-isolate for 14 days before you go; but it doesn't sound like your friends could be trusted to do this. I can't imagine what the 90 year old is thinking - 90 and staying in a house with other people at this terrible time! I would cancel I am afraid, you are all in the vulnerable group, to live in such close proximity with others and especially sharing a bathroom and kitchen/eating facilities is just too risky. The only other alternative is maybe a weekend away in a hotel or rent 3 different properties!

silverlining48 Sat 25-Jul-20 09:09:20

We too have a cottage booked for September with 2 friends. When booked we assumed all would be ok by then and it was something to look forward to. The £ balance is due now.
We have all been careful but am suddenly wondering if it’s a foolish risk.

Sparklefizz Sat 25-Jul-20 09:19:02

It sounds very risky to me, and also stressful if you are going to spend the holiday like an endurance test wondering whether your friends have been as careful as you. I wouldn't be at all relaxed in that situation and would cancel.

Having to miss a holiday is very small in the scheme of things as they are at the moment.

Spain is having its second wave of the virus since reopening. Would you be visiting places during the holiday - cafes, pubs, etc?

Marmight Sat 25-Jul-20 09:41:58

Perhaps if you all do a voluntary 2 week isolation before the holiday, it might work? Although, you mention your friends’ cavalier attitude so it may not work! On the whole, I think I’d postpone..better safe than sorry

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 25-Jul-20 11:05:59

If you are uneasy now, you will be too worried to enjoy it in September, cancel it this weekend and tell them that you hope they all have a lovely time and you will hope to get away next year.

Jane10 Sat 25-Jul-20 12:23:01

Re the 90 year old. They may feel that if they don't go on holiday they may never travel again. I seem to know some pretty nihilistic people who are thinking that they may never have normal experiences again and are willing to risk it as its better than the feeling of being trapped that the prolonged lockdown can lead to.
It's up to you of course. Think about the local prevalence of the area these people come from and where you are booked to stay. Sounds like these others have been out and about with no ill effects so far. It could be OK...

grannyticktock Mon 27-Jul-20 22:49:19

I think if I were in your place I would go, unless the situation worsens by September. Only about one person in 2000 in the community is infectious now, and the incidence is even lower among the elderly. It's up to you, of course, and there's no point in going if you're going to feel uneasy all the time. You could politely suggest that it would make sense for you all to be especially careful for a week or two before you go, which might help put everyone's minds at rest. A hotel wouldn't be safer, it would be worse as you'd be sharing communal spaces with all sorts of people. Restricting contact to your own small group in your own "bubble" is pretty low-risk.

welbeck Mon 27-Jul-20 23:49:20

Just Say No.

harrigran Mon 27-Jul-20 23:57:07

I wouldn't but if you think it is worth the risk then go.

B9exchange Mon 27-Jul-20 23:58:06

The definition of 'cavalier' seems unclear, there is no reason for people not to have cleaners in, that was permitted some time ago. Family bubbles are okay, and meeting up to 30 outside will be permitted in August unless part of local lockdowns. You can only do your own risk assessment, but if I were the 90 year old, I would be going hell for leather to make the most of the time I had left, taking sensible precautions of course!

Hithere Tue 28-Jul-20 02:12:35

Too risky. I would be out

Esspee Tue 28-Jul-20 07:17:43

I think the risk is minimal but do what you are comfortable with otherwise you will be miserable.

MellowYellow Tue 28-Jul-20 07:24:10

I personally would go because I've had the virus! But because you're worried about the cavalier approach I would think this may be an issue when you're living together, and wouldn't that spoil the holiday for you? If they're good friends they should understand why you would cancel.

cornergran Tue 28-Jul-20 07:31:58

Understand the dilemma. We had a similar one for a September holiday with good friends and agreed as a group to cancel. It felt the right thing to do for us but that was more about the location than the accommodation and the ‘sharing’ aspect. It’s a very individual decision, you sound instinctively cautious, if being there would cause constant anxiety you won’t enjoy it at all. There’s no definite right or wrong is there? Always makes a decision harder.

Sparkling Tue 28-Jul-20 07:34:36

You are obviously uneasy, I would say no.

GagaJo Tue 28-Jul-20 09:30:56

I think people saying ' We are allowed to do X now' are unwise to blindly follow whatever the government say is allowable. We've all seen how bad their advice has been.

Make your own decision about what is safe for you.

henetha Tue 28-Jul-20 09:34:56

It's too soon, in my opinion. Maybe next year instead.

JulieMM Tue 28-Jul-20 09:43:39

The fact there is only one bathroom would be the deciding factor for me. However fond of others I may be, I don’t feel I could trust them to clean up after themselves every time they used the facilities to what I consider to be a safe and hygienic standard. I certainly wouldn’t want to clean before every time I used the bathroom ‘just in case’ (especially during the night!).
So it would be a definite no from me. I would rather risk upsetting my friends than my safety. I’m sure you know these people well enough to explain your concerns diplomatically.

Sparklefizz Tue 28-Jul-20 11:16:38

Totally agree JulieMM