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A few days away

(22 Posts)
Gingster Sat 25-Jul-20 14:00:59

DH and I always go away in Octiber with a group of friends. My brothers, wives and two other couples who I’ve known for ever. Last year DH said he doesn’t want to go anymore., so we told the others we wouldn’t be joining them this year. He’s very unsociable and is getting worse. I’m the opposite. My DB and SIL phoned yesterday to ask if I would like to go with them. I would love to. Had a word with DH and although wasn’t keen, said ok . Today DB phoned to say he’s booked my room but couldn’t get a single, so it’s a double which of course will be double the cost. I said that’s fine. Told DH and he said oh well you can’t go then. I’m sticking to my guns. We can afford it but he’s rather careful with money. Now I feel really upset about it and wish I said I wouldn’t go. What would you do?

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 25-Jul-20 14:07:10

Well the room is booked and it’s a double so he can change his mind and go with you.
I can’t see why you should give everything up and sit and look at him forever, keep some independence and don’t let him spoil it for you.

MissAdventure Sat 25-Jul-20 14:08:16

Bloody well go!!!
It's fine for your man not to do things he doesn't want to, but he mustn't start imposing it on you.

Glorybee Sat 25-Jul-20 14:13:22

I think you’re right to stick to your guns Ginster, DH has already agreed anyway, albeit reluctantly. Enjoy the extra space of a double whilst you’re there!

Oldwoman70 Sat 25-Jul-20 14:17:59

Go - enjoy yourself. It is OK for him to be anti-social but he can't expect you to be the same. It may start with him trying to prevent you going on this short break and end up with him keeping you away from everything and everyone else.

Grandmabatty Sat 25-Jul-20 14:34:34

I would still go but be prepared for sulks, moans, sudden illness before you go, numerous calls or messages while you are away claiming illnesses etc and more sulks when you get back. If you give in and don't go, he will assume he gets to decide who you see and will veto all social gathering in the future. I was married to someone like that who made every time I went out difficult and was positively vile when I returned. Your DH may not be that bad but it creeps up on you. Go and enjoy yourself.

Gingster Sat 25-Jul-20 15:59:41

Thanks. I will go and have a great few days. He can stay and look after little pooch. 👍

Squiffy Sat 25-Jul-20 16:14:13

If your DH was going to go as well you would have had to pay for a double room, so, using that logic, in theory you’ve only spent what would have been spent anyway! 😉😆 Hope that makes sense!

EllanVannin Sat 25-Jul-20 16:15:12

Gosh, my late H wouldn't fly, but I did---and went abroad grin He was fine with it though.

ginny Sat 25-Jul-20 16:32:00

Go!

grumppa Sat 25-Jul-20 17:22:58

Go!

Chewbacca Sat 25-Jul-20 17:52:07

Don't think twice, just go! If you don't, you'll be so cross and resentful with your DH that you'll wish you had anyway. Get your bags packed!

merlotgran Sat 25-Jul-20 18:00:29

Squiffy

If your DH was going to go as well you would have had to pay for a double room, so, using that logic, in theory you’ve only spent what would have been spent anyway! 😉😆 Hope that makes sense!

And you'll be saving on kennel fees for the dog.

Win, Win! grin

Sussexborn Sat 25-Jul-20 18:01:39

Definitely don’t let him use emotional blackmail - go and then block his phone number on your mobile whilst you are eating out or partying. It’s easy to do and very satisfying.

I had to convince my OH that there are no pockets in shrouds - you might as well enjoy it whilst you can.

Nortsat Sat 25-Jul-20 18:04:09

You need to talk to your husband and tell him you’re going.
Can he understand that his behaviour is spoiling this for you?

He needs to show that he accepts you’re going and not make your return miserable. You mustn’t waste time, on your precious break, worrying about your reception when you return home.
Grandmabatty may be right, there could be awkward phone calls during your stay and you should be ready for that.

Can you make it clear that you’d rather you went as a couple, but if he doesn’t want to, you will still go. Be firm with him, it’s a fait acompli.
My partner and I have occasionally had separate breaks/holidays with family members and it has worked out fine.

I hope all goes well. 😎

mumofmadboys Sat 25-Jul-20 18:07:02

I agree go! You could say you would prefer you both to go but if he really doesn't want to you will accept that. Holidays with family and friends are precious. Perhaps you and DH could go somewhere just the 2 of you later in the year. Enjoy the holiday!

GrannyGravy13 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:20:01

Please go Gingster enjoy your break guilt free.

Life is too short not to.

Gingster Sat 25-Jul-20 19:26:07

I feel better reading your comments. Definitely going now. I know he would be awkward and grumpy if he came so I will have a better time without him. Relaxed and not worrying about him. Sounds horrid of me but we do have nice times away together as well.

Thank so much you lovely GNetters. 🌺

Chewbacca Sat 25-Jul-20 19:42:46

Enjoy every minute of it Gingster.

Grandmabatty Sat 25-Jul-20 22:26:58

I'm glad for you that you're going to go. Have a lovely time.

Coolgran65 Sun 26-Jul-20 05:32:48

Please do go.
I'm pretty sure that a double room isn't as much as twice that of a single room.

V3ra Sun 26-Jul-20 08:22:41

"He’s very unsociable and is getting worse. I’m the opposite."

That's the telling point in this.
He'll drag you down if you don't go.
The others would stop inviting you so they didn't put you in an awkward position.
Go, and enjoy yourself.