Separate bedrooms

I would love to sleep in separate bedrooms but hubby won't entertain it (in fact, got a bit upset when I suggested it). So we've compromised with a bigger bed! But I'm still hoping he'll agree one day.

so glad to know that most of you out there have separate rooms. I sleep so much better on my own. I spend the whole night flinging off bedclothes as I never seem to be the right temperature and apparently I snore a lot, and I know I throw pillows round the place too! I should think I'm a nightmare to sleep with. OH goes to the loo a lot in the night, which I don't - makes total sense to me to sleep separately Only person I share a bed with is my grand-dog when I'm looking after her and she comes mostly sleeps at the end of the anyway and doesn't seem to mind that I am such a restless sleeper! I simply love having my own bed/bedroom/space etc etc.

Have slept so well since moving to my own room several years ago. Husband wasnt happy about it at first and definitely felt rejected but agreed we both slept better. He was the one who came to bed late, snored, got up in the night, and woke at 5.30. I did feel I had to pretend and move back in if visitors came to stay but not anymore after reading this thread. DIL thought it signalled impending divorce, but that was 10 years ago and hasnt referred to it since. Best thing ever.

When we moved here DH grabbed one of the two large bedrooms for his study and it is full with no room for a bed, and now I have the tiny room as my study. It does have a small single bed in it so I can sleep there if I have a bad cough. I would love to have separate bedrooms all the time. I go to bed first so at least I have the room to myself to read and listen to music for a while.

My dear husband and I had separate rooms from our mid-forties onwards. Only went back to sharing a bed when he got Alzheimers and started trying to get out of the house in the middle of the night, and as he was almost blind as well I thought it best if I knew he was getting out of bed and might fall.

My hubby and I have only been married 3 years, but have been Cohabiting for 8years. When we moved into our current home r years ago we looked for a house with 2 large bedrooms so we could have our own rooms. He snores very loudly. I get not at night and he doesn’t. He likes tv in bed. I read.
Now we have made our rooms our own sanctuaries. His is dark wood and dismal ( to my mind) and mine is light and airy and pretty. He has the ensuite bathroom and I have the main bathroom next to my room. I have 3 daughters who visit a great deal with their children, and when we ‘take over’ the house he is self sufficient!
I think it has made our relationship work. We respect each other’s independence.

We sleep apart too. Have done fir a year or two.

I did fancy a bed like you describe crafty but they were so expensive, and I would still hear his snoring.

We’ve had separate rooms since we first met 20 years ago. I blame the breakdown of my first marriage (somewhat) to insomnia due to sharing a bed. If you have the space it just makes sense. The only drawback is two sets of king size bedding to wash!

Late OH and I had separate rooms for about 25 years and both slept much better as a result. We were very touchy-feely people and always started the day snuggling up in the same bed with a mug of tea.

We bought an electronic bed about 15 years ago. It has 2x 3'mattreses that move up & down separately . It is brilliant as I can sit up & read while he sleeps & he likes his knees supported so uses the controller on his side to do that. We have slept so well since getting it as you do not get that dip in the middle that you always get eventually with normal mattresses. Best thing we ever bought. We got it on the last day of the sale when they were trying to offload everything so it was a real bargain too.
We had travelled from Surrey to Cardiff to see a rugby match & were on our way home the next day when we saw the sale sign & only went in for a browse.

Sleeping apart does not mean no cuddles.

God yes! I remember the shared years. Always too cold, hard mattress, lying awake to get up when he gets up. Now right bedding (no more waking up in pain), comfortable mattress, get up early (get tons done). Should have done it years before. Of course it does necessitate having a spare room so not everyone can. We do care too much about what 'people' think don't we.

Yes go for it. Almost 12 years now and I'd never go back. I love my own space and can only hear his snoring across the hall with doors shut.

We always slept well together. My husband was deaf so without his hearing aid couldn’t hear anything. So I was able to listen to the radio if I couldn’t sleep. Light would wake him so even now I am alone when I have to get up to go to the loo I still don’t put on the light.

Not yet but as dh has taken to spreading across most of the bed and was snoring louder than a loud thing last night it may not be long!!

Me and my husband sleep in separate rooms and have done for 15 years or more . It doesn't mean I love him any less but I didn't like the alcohol on his breath , snoring and talking in his sleep . So moved into my daughter's room and have been there ever since .

Saggi, I have had sleep apnoea for a long time, was diagnosed in 2005 and have slept with a CPAP machine ever since. It has been a Godsend. Encourage your husband to find out if he can get one and then you won't have to worry about his breathing lapses

DH and I have loved each other for 55 years but got to the stage neither of us got a good nights sleep because we disturbed each other. We decided to have separate rooms and although, sometimes, we still don't have a good nights sleep we can read, listen to music or whatever during our wakeful periods without the other being disturbed. We still cuddle. And we are not rich......... just considerate of each other's needs.

We have had separate bedrooms since February when I was in so much pain that I couldnt climb the stairs to go to bed. Luckily we have a bedroom and bathroom on the ground floor. It was my Mother's bedroom. My DH was a bit huffy about it at first but has got used to it. Now I am not in pain I love it. He was always on his phone watching videos etc and I found it hard to read my book with the noise. Since being in my own room I have read so many books on my kindles and love the peace. Plus I have an electric bed which makes it more comfortable getting in and out and for reading. I am glad I kept all my Mother's disability aids after she died 6 years ago. They come in very handy now.

.....also my husband has sleep apnea and I found myself staying awake to jolt him awake when he stopped breathing.... it’s very distressing and annoying .

my husband and I slept in different bedrooms for a few years now.. being a somewhat older person, I really felt that it was not appropriate ,, youngest son and dil have always slept in their own bedrooms, so I thought , why not!

actually since husband died some months back, it is something that has helped,, I do not miss him besides me in bed every night,, well one has to search for positives!

yes.....and for years....and it works very well.... I’m like your husband , can’t sleep unless I’ve noise to drift of to. Husband is asleep before his head reaches pillow...I’m awake 3-4 times a night and need to read, get up and wander,make cuppa. All of this disturbed him. Separate rooms a must!

Separate bedrooms on and off , certainly while we're having the heatwave. DH is a snorer with sleep apnea, but finds the machine too hot to use at the moment, so I am in our spare room. I quite often go there if I am having a bad night, he us able to go out like a light, whereas I quite often take ages, or wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep, that's when I leave as I can put the light on , read and listen to the radio.

What a sensible thing to do.
There is nothing wrong with your arrangement. I wish more people would have the courage to sleep in separate rooms if they have the facilities available than to try and continue the fiction that couples have to sleep in the same bed and room. To sleep in separate beds is not some sort of admission that you have somehow failed as a couple. Good on you both being reasonable and sensible in doing what is good for you both

Would love to have my own room. Husband used spare room for last few months whilst shielding but now released has moved back in with me.
The last few months have been wonderful, I have always dreaded going to bed as I sleep so badly, I actually looked foward to going. Window open, space to move, no covers on and no complaints. Have hinted that I think it should continue but have to go gently as DH very tactile, me not so, but don't want to hurt his feelings. It's a work in progress...might suggest as someone else said going in for cuddles then decamping to own room.