Only the Lonely. Inspired by Do People Enjoy Being Alone

Um... Just re-read my last post. Does it sound a bit lofty, asking to be contacted and not sending a PM to the people who have said they are lonely? I'm happy to, I'm just not sure if that would be over-stepping.

Thank you all for your suggestions and good wishes. I didn't make it clear that I haven't given up on the plans I had to go to clubs etc. once they reopen. In the meantime, I'm grateful I found this site.

Thank you especially to MissAdventure and Naesodaft. I had hoped to hear from Grans that are lonely too.

For me, loneliness isn't so much not having enough to do; it is about not having conversations. I miss listening to how people are getting along and someone else being interested in how I'm getting along. A dialogue. Most of all, I miss laughing with people.

It takes time for even casual friendships to develop and this is my first step. Would any other lonely soul like to be pen pals and see if we click? If you would, but don't want to post here, feel free to private message me.

Things happen and our lives change Notinthemanual we don't expect it and its hard to see things differently. You are taking charge if your life now, I hope you find some groups or activities you enjoy when we can get out and about. Several good ideas here, helping others as well is a good way of getting involved with the community.
It's hard taking those first steps but worth it, good luck.

You have my sympathy Notinthemanual. I feel as though I could have written your post. A few years ago I would have never have believed that I would be in this position, now I am and like you 2020 was going to be the year when I going to get out there, join clubs and do things. That’s still the plan, it’s just been delayed and while COVID has meant not being able to meet people in person I have met people through online groups and now hoping to meet up with them in the real world.

notingthemanual,

I think sometimes you need to "click" with someone as a friend.

I had a fair few, but our lives went in different directions, and I fell through the net, as it were.

The advice for "putting yourself out there" is true, of course, but it's also down to circumstances.

Hello Notinthemanual it is great to hear that you are planning to get out and about and join some clubs. Think about what you would like to do and what you enjoy doing. Where do your interest lie? Perhaps a book club, an art class, keep fit, walking group, lunch club or church. Whatever you decide I wish you well for the future

Notinthemanual, I sympathise. It is hard at the moment, but I am sure we all hope this is not forever. Although I do not live alone, all my outside contacts and activities have stopped, because of Covid, so the only means of contact is online and for the most part that is with people I have never met.

I volunteer with Schoolreaders and in normal times I go into a school at my convenience and listen to children reading. It’s so lovely to spend time with children. Sometimes we don’t read and just talk as some children never get time on their own with adults and it’s good for their self esteem. I got to know another volunteer during our playtime breaks and now we have become friends sharing meals and trips out and exchanged text messages. Schoolreaders always needs volunteers. Enrol now online and when it’s possible you are up and ready.

Sparkling totally agree with your comment regarding WI.

Have you considered doing online study?
A gentle way to re- enter society. Time-consuming but energising, it gives a focus to your day, occupies your mind and definitely leads to new horizons; you make contact with people online and in the future face to face contact will be restored. It also boosts your confidence.

Thank you Sparkling yes I got the gist

Sorry for the typos I thought I had checked as I wrote, but some creep in, hope you got what I tried to say.

I am sorry you are alone, particularly at this difficult time with no access to the usual places we can mix. Gradually things are getting back to not allow, why don't you decide what sort if groups you want to belong. I have unfortunately seen the WI I belong to quite unwelcoming to visitors, it's been going so long people with friends either just don't notice newcomers or don't want things to alter, but if course Nobel of those are open At the moment anyway.I woukd follow an interest. You could read up on that now. If you are fairly fit why don't you try a walk each day and call in for a coffee at the same time, establish a routine. Could you volunteer a day a week or a fortnight in one of the charity shops that are open now. When we get older, even with families, situations and priorities change and most if us will be on our win up we live a long time. you are not alone in being lonely. I went out for a meal yesterday and two tables there had single diners, both had newspapers to read, but they were out and engaged with other diners and the staff and had dressed up to do spend a few hours out. Things will get better.