I have four surviving children (of 7), 3 sons and a daughter. All in thier 40's and 50's now.
A few days ago my oldest granddaughter rang and asked if she could come over. She is just shy of 20 and a sweet and lovely girl. Needless to say, I said yes.
When she got here she burst into tears and when my daughter and I had calmed her down, she told us that she had walked out of the family home because her father (my 2nd son) had beaten her, She was shocked and scared. He had punched her in the head and as she fell, swung again and caught her in the throat.
She had walked out and gone to the nearest local refuge - her (just) ex-stepmother, who lives locally (I should add that they live in south London and I live in the north of the city). She had been staying there for a few days but was scared her father would turn up and so came to me.
I was absolutely and utterly disgusted. All my sons were brought up to understand that there is never, ever, a justification for violence and especially by a very strong man against a woman.
Long story short - after further discussion she admitted that it has been going on for some time and he has physically hurt her severely in the past. My daughter and I gave her comfort and advice but until yesterday, she was determined to go home, not least because her younger brother is still there.
After a series of increasingly fraught emails to my son, which boiled down to him insisting she is making it all up and she should get home immediately, so that he could talk to her, she has decided not to go home - to my intense relief.
My son has always been bombastic and bossy and we have all, at one time or the next, stated how upset we are at the way he orders his children around (not a please or thank you in sight, just do this, do that) but we excused it because he is a single dad and as a single mother myself, I know how hard it can be but this is something else entirely.
I have told her she has a home with me for as long as she needs one. My next move seems to be to contact my son and tell him that I do not want to see him again - i.e his children are always welcome but he is not.
Any thoughts on this? I imagine you can all see just how upset this has made me - it is breaking my heart and at 74 and in poor health, the last thing I need but if she needs me, I'll manage.
BelindaB Wed 16-Sep-20 14:44:00
Esspee Wed 16-Sep-20 14:58:38
Riverwalk Wed 16-Sep-20 15:04:54
TwiceAsNice Wed 16-Sep-20 15:27:15
Septimia Wed 16-Sep-20 15:27:46
Callistemon Wed 16-Sep-20 15:29:53
BlueBelle Wed 16-Sep-20 16:20:30
sodapop Wed 16-Sep-20 16:31:42
Alexa Wed 16-Sep-20 16:59:15
Toadinthehole Wed 16-Sep-20 18:14:05
Kamiso Wed 16-Sep-20 20:36:37
Urmstongran Wed 16-Sep-20 21:18:54
M0nica Wed 16-Sep-20 21:47:22
BelindaB Fri 18-Sep-20 16:49:55
Callistemon Fri 18-Sep-20 17:18:16
welbeck Fri 18-Sep-20 17:39:49
trisher Fri 18-Sep-20 17:55:58
welbeck Fri 18-Sep-20 18:17:39