Sister being resentful?

I have a sister who is exceptionally jealous of me. You cannot do anything about this. If she’s jealous she is jealous that’s all there is to it. She’s probably jealous of everything and everybody as well because jealous people usually are. If your three hours away you can’t do anything and it sounds as if you are doing what are you can I sending flowers and offering support to her.

And I’d agree with perhaps not paying too much attention to what your husband thinks about your family.

Maybe she’s just too busy to sit on the phone for hours. But when you phone perhaps she thinks you want to find out how she and your father are, not tell her about you. Why do you think she’s resentful and jealous? Does she ask for help? Is she grumpy and unhappy to hear from you? When you visit do you muck in or add to chores by behaving like visitors?

Is she whinging? OP hasn’t said that.

Perhaps your sister just needs to offload sometimes, SuzieHi. Is she on her own? If so, maybe the best way you can help is just by being a good listener and being the person who takes an interest in her life.

Some people just whinge, it's 'poor me' syndrome. Is it new behaviour or just ramping up of what is her usual approach to life? Difficult to know what more you can do when you live so far away. Unless there's something specific she needs help with there's not much more you can do, just don't beat yourself up about it.

?

Thank you for reply. Have sent sister flowers several times this year, so have my daughters who appreciate what’s she’s doing for grandad.
Do post family photos for grandad - he’s tech savvy and can use iPad at age 95! He seems happy. It’s me feeling guilt? !
Yes husband does put in his 2 pennyworth -

For a start stop keeping a tally of who phones who and who ought to be next. Does it matter?

You live 3 hours away. She is ‘hands on’. Maybe there’s some resentment (not jealousy per se). Discuss things less with your husband and more with your sister. That’s a better way forward.

Try to work out for yourself what you could do to ease your sisters tasks? If not time, throw some money at the situation perhaps (if you can afford it). Nice treats on line for your dad, flowers to appreciate your sister for example. You’ll have ideas of your own.

If finances are tight, write to your dad once a week. Send photos. Get involved basically. Geographical distance doesn’t have to mean emotional distance in my opinion.

Good luck.