Lockdown Marriage/relationshi ps...be honest, be brave.

Perhaps Spirito has been browsing on GN and found the several “Shall I leave “ threads. I think he and his wife have been very sensible. A few more years down the line and it might not be so easy . I would say though, next time don’t bother to get married!!

I AM of a similar age to the OP Oopsadaisy. Is Gransnet only for the over 70's?

Grandparents can be a wide range of ages.
I was 39 when I became one.

Maybe the poster thought that most people on GN were of a similar age as he is?
Maybe the 15 year difference throws up more problems with us than he has at his younger age.

My husband and I have done the same, we are still good friends after 4 years living apart.

We had separate lives but lived together for a few years before deciding to live apart. My husband wanted to have a new relationship, we would have both been okay about it but doubt another woman would have liked the idea of him still living with his wife.

Works for us. Why people have the need to be negative about someone elses life that they are happy with is beyond me.

I've reported this thread.
It makes for really unpleasant reading.

I didn't think about the gender of th, as I said up thread, it suggested a relationship that was always shallow and had no roots. I cannot imagine why they evr bothered to marry in the first place.

I am really happy you think that, I just dont agree, I know what brave means!

I too wonder what a 54 year old male is doing on Gransnet

What a strange thing to say.

Galaxy

I have no sex bias, I didnt find the post brave, I found it quite patronising. We all have different views.

Of course he is being brave - *endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviour without showing fear*- after the negative comments he has received. I bet you anything if this had been a female poster she would never have had to read these negative comments and if she had she probably would not have responded in the positive and mature way he has.

Maybe some posters don't like 'happy endings' Chewbacca.

I have no sex bias, I didnt find the post brave, I found it quite patronising. We all have different views.

How bizarre that so many of you are mortally offended and outraged that a 54 year male has the temerity to post on GN. You're strangely silent when young mother's come to this forum asking for advice about mother's in law and other relationships; no hint of age or sex bias there. So what is it about Spiritof67 that offends you so much? His age? His gender? His honesty? His bravery that he's done something that some of you can only dream about but have never had the nerve to do? I've looked at a few of the posters on this thread with fresh eyes today and yes, I've judged you.

Should only be one ' ship'!!! On my mobile, and not used to it?

Interesting thread, many replies have said what I would have said. Can I ask though....how did your first relationship ship end? Was it as ' easy' as this one appears to be? What about your wife's first relationship as well? Just interested to know.

Smileless2012

I'd like to know the answer to that question too Lucca. Not everyone who posts on GN is a GM, a woman or a GP. The OP is a GF so what's the problem?

Not a brilliant first impression of GN is it.

Despite the abbreviations I totally agree with your post Smileless

I wish you all the best in your mutually agreed decision. You have been very honest and brave. I cannot for the life of me think why OP on GN thinking you were perhaps looking for a date or anything else for that matter. You've come on here as any female would have probably without being questioned, poured your heart out and look how you have been treated by some posters. Just dreadful. Talk about equality . Give it up your dreadful people.

I think that was a good post Spiritof67 and allowed us a window to look into your life. The lockdown has shown many people a thing or two about their lives and also relationships, so an awful pandemic but many people faced up to a few home truths.
You are fortunate that yourself and your soon to be ex are financially in a position to both get new properties and move forward into a future where you can find happiness and have the kind of life you both seem to want.
I agree for sure that with you both being in your 50's what is the point of bumbling along nicely but not having much feeling for each other you are both young enough for a fresh start.
I see you got a few negative comments and someone even mentioned that Gransnet is not a dating site which we know it isn't but you put up an honest post it was okay to me.

What a horrible lot of comments on here if they can’t find anything nice to say don’t bother. Lucky u I’m dreaming of freedom away from pain and trauma but starting the battle of finances very soon all underhanded stuff no tax paid or declared. I have good friends to help me through and a peaceful home of my own now with my dog. I long to just have normal life after all this and holiday I hope. In these tough times why are people on here so unpleasant I can never understand it and we are not all over 70 on here. Good luck and happiness is what u should wish the guy.

Message deleted by Gransnet as it repeats a previously deleted post. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I agree Newatthis , there`s just no need.
He was brave bless him.

I did just that Spiritoo67 and never looked back.
I was married to x for 32 years,together for 36.
The best thing i ever did.
I wish you both a very happy future.

Smiless your post made me smile....a plethora of acronyms !! Agreed, not everyone on GN is even a parent !

I'd like to know the answer to that question too Lucca. Not everyone who posts on GN is a GM, a woman or a GP. The OP is a GF so what's the problem?

Not a brilliant first impression of GN is it.

Luckygirl I think the point is while they were both out and about working all was pretty good but being on their own together made them realise it wasn’t working. Their solution might not be for everyone but it’s a perfectly valid one.
I didn’t think the post was patronising
Why I ask again is it wrong for a 54 year old man to post on GN ? Nobody has explained that one to me!