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Meeting up with a former Boyfriend

(18 Posts)
Judy54 Thu 21-Jan-21 14:18:35

A few years ago my friend met by chance a Man that She used to go out with when they were Teenagers. She was single/never married and He was divorced. They agreed to meet up for a meal and He told Her that He had never stopped loving her, they were meant to be together and He was not letting Her go this time. She was taken aback but said She would like to see Him again.

After around three meet ups He wanted to see Her the next Weekend and She said that was not possible as She was having a long weekend away with Friends. He was not happy about this and said You don't need them you are with me now. Her response was we both have friends that we want to see and neither of us has a right to ask each other not to do this.

She said that we need to spend time getting to know each other again and see how things go. Unfortunately it did not work out because he was to demanding and controlling and She was not interested in pursuing a relationship with Him.
Have you ever met up with a former Boyfriend and did it work out or not for you?

Maggiemaybe Thu 21-Jan-21 20:16:37

No, thank goodness. I think I'd rather keep my (usually) fond memories, not that I'm in the market for a new man anyway! Your friend's bloke sounds like a nightmare - she did well to realise that and get rid of him quickly.

Tangerine Thu 21-Jan-21 20:21:02

I have met up with people I used to go out with by pure chance.

About ten years ago, I went to a concert in a completely different town and a man came up to me. He was my first boyfriend. It was lovely to see him but I wouldn't have chosen to see him again as a romantic partner. Both of us were single.

I have met others in the street and stopped for a five minute chat and see absolutely no harm in it.

AmberSpyglass Thu 21-Jan-21 20:39:24

I had a lovely chat over Skype with an ex the other night - we sporadically catch up, and it was lovely. Might have been different if there was any suggestion that one of us was still interested though.

GagaJo Thu 21-Jan-21 21:26:24

I walked past my violent ex & his new partner. They were sitting outside a bar. I was with my DD and my new partner. Slightly awkward because my ex recognised my new partner as someone we had met together just before ex and I split up.

I half expected a violent scene, but I think he was putting on a good act for the new girlfriend and couldn't let rip. Thankfully!

lemongrove Thu 21-Jan-21 21:53:37

No, but then I don’t live anywhere near where I used to live before I met DH. It’s always possible to meet someone by pure chance of course, but very much doubt I would recognise them ( or they me) after such a long time.

Grammaretto Thu 21-Jan-21 22:21:21

I was curious to see what had become of my exes and googled them only to find one had recently died but had a wonderful obituary.
I was so glad he'd had a good life, married, had children and had made a difference.
I'm glad we didn't stay together though. He wasn't the one for me.

Luckygirl Thu 21-Jan-21 22:41:42

I did - I met my first boyfriend again many years ago after I had been married for decades and had my children - took my OH with me, so all above board.

The handsome young man I use to go out with had turned into a rather ugly bald gnome - I made the right choice it would seem!

blondenana Thu 21-Jan-21 23:10:02

Yes i met up with my first serious boyfriend when i visited the town i grew up in,
I was shocked to find he wasn't as tall as i remembered,and his blonde wavy hair was now silver, but still nice looking, a bit like Paul Newman actually,he was married too by then,
When i knew him from School to about 16 we went everywhere together
Cant even remember why we broke up, but it wasn't on bad terms as i met him once in the street after i was married, while taking my 2 children to a park, he walked with me and even carried the youngest around,he was still single
When i met him for the second time he was married , we went for a coffee and chatted about old times, he said he was sad they couldn't have children, and i was amazed to find he remembered my birthday
We parted with a hug and a quick kiss,and that was that,i was going home the day after.
Later a lot later when i was divorced for the second time i met someone who was a teacher i liked him and we went out for about 9 months and planned to get married
My older children had left home, both in relationships,
My 2 youngest were still at home
I really got to know what he was like when he objected to my daughter coming to visit she lived away at the time, The next thing was he said my 2 youngest could leave home when they were 16, of course i objected to that,
The real crunch came although i had more or less decided he wasn't for me,when he kept playing with my cats ears,i said she didn't like that, but he carried on and she scratched him
That was it,he gave me a choice,either the cat went or he did
Guess who i chose

blondenana Thu 21-Jan-21 23:10:33

Sorry that was an essay

kircubbin2000 Thu 21-Jan-21 23:20:28

Not really a boyfriend, I went out with him only a couple of times to make up a foursome. Last time I went to Florence I had just got on the bus when I saw him getting on behind me. We didn't have much to say .

Grandma11 Fri 22-Jan-21 03:05:01

I still live quite local to the area where I grew up and went through my Teenage years, so from time to time I occasionally cross paths for one reason or another with one of my Ex's from back then! Some will say Hi, and have a chat, often with a family of their own in tow, others have turned up at my home as Tradespeople to do a job, and had no idea what they were walking into because they did not recognise my Married name!
Not recently, but before I retired, I sometimes was busy nursing someone and then recognise either an Ex or one of their family was a visitor on my ward, or worse still the Ex themselves when James were read out in Handover at the beginning of a shift! I always drew the line though as being their allocated nurse, the one that does all their ward based Treatments and Care, and would swop with a colleague to then care for someone who I had no personal connection with. I did get 'Set Jo's once though by someone's sister inviting me away on a Girls weekend to celebrate her 50th Birthday. On the evening of our arrival she made her excuses and said that a couple more people needed collecting from the Airport to join us. She was well aware that I was Married, but one of the people she bought back to stay was her Brother who I dated for a couple of years as a Teenager!
I was curious with her, he had changed so much that I would not have recognised him, a real 'Christian Grey' type Armarni man, whatever you told him, he had done ten times better, wherever you had been, he had flown to in a private Jet, that type of guy! If he was really that up himself, why had he had Three long term failed Relationships and had no Children? Thankfully he developed a bad headache which he blamed on jetlag, and took himself off to bed. I made my excuses the next morning a left early, he wrote to me and sent me a couple of Christmas cards, but I just ignored them and eventually he went away and stopped bothering me.
I was 100% honest and open with my husband about what had happened when I got back, he came up with a theory, he believed that this pair were looking for some free help to look after their elderly parents, and as I lived nearby them, they thought that I would do it as a favour, hence them trying to be so friendly after all these years!

Grandma11 Fri 22-Jan-21 03:07:08

Sorry, Names, not James!

timetogo2016 Fri 22-Jan-21 10:39:31

Totaly agree with you Maggiemaybe.
Someone i know very well met up with an X and she realised very quickly why he was an X.
I think people look through rose tinted glasses at times in the hope a relationship will develop.

Lucyloo12 Fri 19-Mar-21 18:12:48

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than meet up with my ex. The one before that died so that won't happen either. Go for new, the past really belongs in the past, if it didn't work then, it won't now.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 19-Mar-21 18:25:28

When I got married for the 2nd time my husband best man was a former boyfriend and we are still all friends 25 years on.

Alishka Fri 19-Mar-21 23:03:45

I first met X when he had a house share with a boyfriend of mine when I was 18. Boyfriend went, but X remained a friend and occasional lover for many many years and came over to Italy after I was married, and stayed with us. We both loved escargots and ate and rated them(!) in both countries, and when I brought kiddo over to England each summer to escape the horrendous Italian August heat, I'd look him up. He'd never married.About a year or so ago I tried to trace him to reconnect, to come across his Obit. I've got an X-shaped hole in my life now. Lovely fun man and I miss him.sad

Dippygran Sun 11-Apr-21 07:29:09

Not exactly an ex....I was in love from afar with my friends cousin, an edgy young punk with a magnificent mohican lol and at her wedding (1990) we danced and I had high hopes but as he later told me...he thought I wouldnt be interested in him - I was rocking the big hair n dancin' round the handbag type - anyways, he went off and had a family as did I - we met up again in 2006 (both of us single again) and I asked HIM out - weve now been together 15 year! Engaged for 12, we don't like to rush things lol