How to make new friends?

Many people here join a Probus club when they get to 65 and retire. I have made many friends through this because we are all pretty like-minded and looking to have a good time together. We go out together at least once a week for dine outs, walking groups, day trips etc which would be harder just now for you of course. I find Probus more friendly that U3A because it is ongoing and all the people kind of want to make friends. Volunteering is good,too but it depends what kind of thing and whether you do it in groups. The Probus movement is huge here but I believe it actually started in the UK. As to the comment about where you came from I would have retorted “ you are a bit of a snob then?” with a smile on my face !

nanna8

Many people here join a Probus club when they get to 65 and retire. I have made many friends through this because we are all pretty like-minded and looking to have a good time together. We go out together at least once a week for dine outs, walking groups, day trips etc which would be harder just now for you of course. I find Probus more friendly that U3A because it is ongoing and all the people kind of want to make friends. Volunteering is good,too but it depends what kind of thing and whether you do it in groups. The Probus movement is huge here but I believe it actually started in the UK. As to the comment about where you came from I would have retorted “ you are a bit of a snob then?” with a smile on my face !

I have never heard of this so googled it. And there is one near me! Looked at the website - it’s for ‘retired gentlemen’ ?. Ah well nice try. I have actually found a WI near me too which I didn’t know existed. Have made contact there and waiting to hear. Thanks.

My last new friend I met at the bus-stop!! Neither of us working, but we chatted, I discovered she liked painting to suggested she came to the art club I belong to. She doesn't drive, so I picked her up most weeks. We are still in touch through email. I am 76, it's never too late to make friends! I'm still in touch with my school friends!!

Gwenisgreat1

My last new friend I met at the bus-stop!! Neither of us working, but we chatted, I discovered she liked painting to suggested she came to the art club I belong to. She doesn't drive, so I picked her up most weeks. We are still in touch through email. I am 76, it's never too late to make friends! I'm still in touch with my school friends!!

I met my (ex)husband at a bus stop! Maybe I should ditch the car ?. Seriously though I think random things like that are great. My mum met two friends on the bus after dad died. They were great friends for the rest of their lives. ?❤️

Hello WW010 Probus did start off for men only but now has many ladies branches. I belong to a Ladies group it may just be that there is not one in your area.

Do you have any hobbies? I've made friends in a sewing group, perhaps this will appeal when things get back to normal though I fear we'll have a long wait.

My husband made quite a few friends when he joined a bowling club and some of the friendships now include me even though I don't bowl.

I used to enjoy belonging to a knitting group which met in the local library.

There might be a branch of Townswomen's Guild in your area WW010. Like the WI they are always keen to welcome new members. I found the atmosphere companionable and although some members have special friends there are always others to chat to. Good luck with your search. I'm sure if you get "out there" one thing will lead to another!

Look up you local u3a. They will have a range of Interest Groups and activities ( restricted now due to LD ) but may still accept new members. They should be issuing a Newsletter and will have a website open to the public domain.

Try joining a Book Group perhaps.

Exercise class possibly.

Townswomen's Guild.

Thanks all. Some great ideas. The basic message is I have to get off my behind and get out there. Am much reassured by the replies. Thanks again.

Hi WW010. When you get older, it always seems harder to make friends, but it's always possible. Remember, there are plenty of people in a similar situation to you and keen to find companionship. You can join a book club, take a fitness class, do some volunteering, show up at local events, join a church or community group, sign up to other local groups (such as walking or crafting), and even join social media groups to make friends online. These are all great ways to form new relationships, and being active and involving ourselves in activities and opportunities always helps. Here are some great tips on how to make friends online that you may find useful: www.vivastreet.co.uk/blog/6-tips-for-making-friends-online/

Let us know how you get on

Well I’ve just signed up to my local WI! That’s step one. ?.

I have three very good friends who are fairly longstanding. I have several other friends who I see now and again or, if they live a long way away, I who I write to.

One of those friends is a former work colleague who lives nearby, another is the mum of my daughter's school friend and the other I met while I was doing a training course. Most of my other friends go back at least 40 years - former neighbours, former work colleagues, former mums of my daughter's friends, former writing group members, etc, etc.

As someone else said, if you want to and are able to have a dog, it is one way of chatting with people. I'm not sure if that is likely to lead to a friendship but it is still nice to chat to people when you go out. One of my friends has an allotment and has met people through that, another joined Ramblers. Then there are choirs, adult education classes, book clubs, and exercise classes (though I have never found exercise classes conducive to making friends as, in my experience, there isn't much opportunity to chat).

It's great that you have decided to actively seek friends rather than hoping, as some people do, that in some magical way they will just turn up (though that does happen sometimes - but not often).

Eloethan. Thanks for the support. It’s a strange thing to me how some people acquire friends throughout their lives and others don’t. In my life I’ve had lots of friends via work etc but none have stayed. I joined a choir but no one spoke to me and when I tried to join a ‘row’ I was firmly told I was in someone’s place (who wasn’t there but ‘might’ be next week). I have a friend who is like you and makes friends as easily as breathing. She can’t understand why I don’t. I used to feel I must be unlike able but I think maybe it’s a form of shyness? I was once told by a writing analyst ? I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. I think there’s some truth in that. ?

WWO1O it's flattering that you believe I make friends "as easily as breathing* but I don't think that is true. I am quite shy and am not good at all in groups of people but many of my friends are fairly longstanding.

I have always made a point of keeping in touch with people and keeping a friendship alive - emailing and phoning is convenient at times but occasionally a handwritten letter is nice. I believe I am a good listener because I'm interested in other people's lives and I know, from my own experience, how important it is to have someone who will listen with patience and understanding to your woes when everything seems to be going wrong.

Once you have made some friends (and I'm sure you will), try and keep in touch with them now and again or suggest meeting up for a meal/drink at least a couple of times a year. Don't always wait for others to be pro-active.

Difficult at the moment I know to form friendships but, hopefully, it won't always be like this! Good luck.

A lot of organisations are still going on Zoom. I joined the online branch of the Townswomens Guild and a local bookclub since lockdown and join at least one online meeting on Zoom every week. It's an easier way to assess whether a group is what you want. I do understand the point about knowing people but feeling like you never quite make friends WW010. Maybe look into why you feel like that - it may or may not be true - it may just depend on how you define 'friend?'

Lots of good advice here. I have always found that being prepared to help with the washing up is worthwhile - you pick up on the gossip, show you are willing to muck in, and can get a real sense of an organisation. Good luck!

I'm 70 and when I thought about my friends I realised that all the friends I've made since retiring I have met walking the dog
or at the stables.
I have joined various groups but never got beyond the odd hello whereas it,s easy to chat about animals .Some I only see when walking the dog or when they are at the stables but others have become close friends over the years .You can't click with everyone but it is wonderful when you do.
Recently I met someone who described finding a friend as like finding a jewel and she was right.

lovingit

I'm 70 and when I thought about my friends I realised that all the friends I've made since retiring I have met walking the dog
or at the stables.
I have joined various groups but never got beyond the odd hello whereas it,s easy to chat about animals .Some I only see when walking the dog or when they are at the stables but others have become close friends over the years .You can't click with everyone but it is wonderful when you do.
Recently I met someone who described finding a friend as like finding a jewel and she was right.

That’s lovely and very true. Good friends are as important-imho - as a ‘love’ relationship. Often our friends know more about us than our partners. It’s the old quote of “you’ll always be my friend, you know too much”!

It’s so sad, and shocking, when good friends die too early. Two of mine didn’t quite make it to 60. I often wonder how we would have spent retirement together. It makes me appreciate the friends I do have, and I try to keep in touch regularly. But it is not easy to make new friends. Are people just more wary the older they get?

I have sent you a PM-you may receive 20+ or none, the system has gone AWOL

I sent the PM to WW010- I also have gone AWOL

Charleygirl5

I sent the PM to WW010- I also have gone AWOL

Thanks Charleygirl. I have received your many messages and have replied. ?

Zilch has arrived. GNHQ are on the case so maybe tomorrow. Some are obviously getting through like my lot but many others, like yours, are not.