Gransnet forums


I like you as a person, but...

(10 Posts)
LadyHonoriaDedlock Sun 07-Feb-21 17:59:58

When you were younger did you ever say this to anybody? Or have it said to you? How did you feel about it?

FannyCornforth Sun 07-Feb-21 18:07:08

It just means 'I've got absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, but don't take it personally', doesn't it?

downtoearth Sun 07-Feb-21 18:11:02

Yes I used to get, I like you as a person, but I fancy your mate.

timetogo2016 Mon 08-Feb-21 10:56:20

Not had it said to me.but thought it about a couple of people.
Have never said it out loud though.

Tangerine Mon 08-Feb-21 10:58:08

I thought this about Managers in the office from time to time. Some of the people who have managed me have been delightful people but their management skills have been lacking and they have let people get away with things.

I haven't particularly thought from a romantic point of view.

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 08-Feb-21 11:09:24

It depends on what comes after the ‘but’

You’re a nice person but I wouldn’t let you perform surgery on me

You’re a nice person but I wouldn’t let you pilot an airplane I was
travelling on (ha! those were the days,)

You’re a nice person but ........

Doodledog Mon 08-Feb-21 11:11:04

I think it makes perfect sense, but it is a tactless thing to say to someone if they are hoping for a different sort of relationship.

I have known several colleagues who I liked well enough 'as people', but found frustrating to work with for various reasons. Similarly, I've had great working relationships with people I wouldn't want as friends - they are two very different roles.

When it comes to romantic situations, it's perfectly possible to have friends you don't fancy but like 'as people'. Most friendships work like this - it would get awfully complicated if we saw all of our friends as possible romantic partners!

It's probably better for this not to work the other way round, though, unless you are into the 'buddy' thing that younger generations sometimes enjoy. Personally, I'd struggle to have a romantic relationship with someone I didn't like, but I can see that it could be fine for others.

Calendargirl Mon 08-Feb-21 11:17:19

‘....but I just don’t fancy you’

That’s what I think it means.

Lots of people you like, but the thought of kissing them or having sex with them....


sodapop Mon 08-Feb-21 12:51:34

Think it ranks alongside "Its not you, its me" .smile

grandtanteJE65 Fri 12-Feb-21 13:02:46

As a seventeen year old, I felt tempted many times to say this, as it seemed to me then and for nearly ten years after that, that any man who was attracted to me, turned me off, and any man I was attracted to, never realised I was there.

The only kind way, if it was kind, I found of dealing with saying no to the men I didn't want to date, was to invent a boyfriend, who was spending a year in some distant place.