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Feel so flat I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out

(19 Posts)
Sophiasnana Tue 30-Mar-21 23:14:12

I dont know whats wrong with me. I have a loving marriage, three healthy children and five lovely grandchildren no money or major health worries. So why do I just feel so flat about life? Feel I am being selfish as so many other people have far bigger worries. I dont feel close to my daughter any more, we hardly seem to have proper conversations, just the odd fb message. My husband is getting frustrated with me as all I want to do is sit on the sofa, and do nothing. No motivation whatsoever. We have even booked a cruise for (hopefully) september but I cant even get excited about that! I feel I need to kick myself up the bum!!

CafeAuLait Wed 31-Mar-21 05:47:35

It sounds like you could be depressed. Even if you don't have anything you think could make you depressed in your life, you could have an imbalance or medical issue that is causing this. I'd start with a check up, get thyroid checked among other things. Could it be hormonal? Don't under estimate the effects of lock down either.

Sago Wed 31-Mar-21 06:15:44

Oh dear, it does sound like you may be depressed.
The best thing is to be active, I know it’s easier said than done but it really helps.

Having structure to your week is really important.

I haven’t worked for over a year due to C19 and my children and grandchildren all live hundreds of miles away so I have had to find coping mechanisms.

I have taken on some hobbies, I got a sewing machine and learnt how to use it and also started baking all our own bread.

We hike and picnic usually once a week, hopefully more now the weather is better, the television never goes on until after our evening meal and we experiment with 3 new recipes a week!
On top of all the daily grind of housework, gardening etc this is enough to get me through!

Yesterday we had friends for lunch in the garden, it was an absolute joy to share food, wine and laughter.
Perhaps you could plan to see friends or family now restrictions have been eased.

I hope you give yourself a kick up the bum and you start to feel more positive!!!

M0nica Wed 31-Mar-21 07:07:06

It sounds to me like depression. I think a consultation with your GP is called for.

Forcing yourself into activity will help. Getting outside every day, even if only for 10 or 20 minutes, and slowly building the time up. Planning some activity in your life and some structure also helps, but I think your first port of call is your GP.

Jaffacake2 Wed 31-Mar-21 07:15:38

Please try to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that living through a year of pandemic has been sad and stressful. It may not have directly affected you by illness of yourself or family but just looking into the devastation it has caused the world can affect your mental wellbeing.
I feel the same as you in that I want to crawl into a comfy spot and hibernate. I am trying very hard to live in the present and enjoy the interactions I have with others. Yesterday was the first time of having a friend join me for tea in the back garden. But I would be overwhelmed to try to plan any future trips as anxiety would mount up.
Go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself to others. There is no great expectation placed on you.
Take care x

Redhead56 Wed 31-Mar-21 09:21:21

Everyone has suffered this last year in one way or another. I thought I was doing well but just recently I have been in tears some days. No explanation but tears especially dropping shopping at my DS. One of the twins hides from us and barely talks, It’s obvious she misses us and this is her reaction. It’s worrying what little ones have been through not seeing their loved ones, This is what’s upset me and not hugging them that’s been the worse thing.
I have tried to keep occupied and it’s helped but lately I feel worn down you must be feeling the same. I sat in the garden a while yesterday with DH listening to the birds that raised my spirits.
Things can only get better from now on and you have always got gransnet. I am so grateful it’s like having lots of friends. You only have to look at some of threads and see an argument coming and that makes me lol. Spoil yourself today get these in water ASAP 💐

Esspee Wed 31-Mar-21 09:28:24

You need a serotonin boost. Speak to your doctor.

Bicycle1 Wed 31-Mar-21 09:40:46

I know many people including my self feel like that , this pandemic as especially this lock down has really left many people flat and demotivated , and how difficult it is to get motivated

timetogo2016 Wed 31-Mar-21 10:21:40

You are not alone Sophiasnana believe me.
This lockdown has affected so many people,as adviced,i would go to the doctors for advice and support.
Wishing you well.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 31-Mar-21 10:51:04

Yes, that numbness is horrible isn’t it? I’m sure covid won’t have helped. We all feel in a rut too, and almost don’t want to do anything now. Do speak to your doctor though. Hope you feel better soon💐

V3ra Wed 31-Mar-21 10:53:28

Do you think you might be suffering from some degree of "survivor's guilt" because, from what you say, you don't have any major worries and lots of other people do?

I feel like we're marking time at the moment.
Things are improving, but there are still a lot of unknowns.
We all made plans last year and had to cancel them this year, so it's hard to get excited about new plans.

Shandy57 Wed 31-Mar-21 10:55:32

I think the 'anniversary' celebration was very sobering, I felt like tearing my hair out that a whole year has passed. Thank heavens for all the tech we have access to, without my laptop I do think I'd be bald smile

I have just moved and am still sitting amongst a lot of boxes, I can hardly be bothered to unpack. No-one is coming, so no-one knows!

JaneJudge Wed 31-Mar-21 11:01:04

If you go on your GP website there should be a page about wellbeing during the pandemic and if you feel you can't ring or talk to them, there is a section on ours where you can leave a message in the box and someone will contact you by email instead. This is much more common than you realise atm. I had a carers check over the phone and was offered antidepressants but I didn't feel I needed them (maybe I did though in hindsight) It will all be ok xx

Sophiasnana Wed 31-Mar-21 11:28:19

Thanks everyone. Redhead56. I think part of my problemis the same as yours. My nine year old granddaughter has been the light of my life, sleepovers once a week since she was born. Now shes seeing a therapist for anxiety. Wont leave her mums side and has to be dragged to school every morning crying. She refuses to come to ours at all, even though we help out with childcare and her two year old sister comes here regularly. Havent really spoken to her for any length of time for a few months now. Covid has a lot to answer for 😢😢😢😢

Strugglepuss Fri 02-Apr-21 10:13:52

I'd just like to suggest that you have your B12 levels checked. A B12 deficiency can cause depression, fatigue and lethargy.

Jane43 Fri 02-Apr-21 10:22:08

You definitely need to see your GP and I really hope things improve for you soon.

Alexa Fri 02-Apr-21 10:25:30

It could be thyroid deficiency, or it might be laziness. Get it checked out.

Shelflife Sun 02-May-21 12:46:41

So sorry to read you are feeling so bad . I recognize the situation where you no longer feel so involved in your granddaughters life. She is obviously having anxiety just now - you are correct Covid has a lot to answer for ! Your lovely granddaughter needs her mum just now , good to know she is getting help for her anxiety. You will be very worried about her and her mum. We love and worry about our ' children' and then it's a double whammy because because we worry about grandchildren too. It not all roses being a grandparent!!
I really hope you are getting help for yourself ? Feeling low is debilitating , please remember ' this too will pass' and the sun will shine in your life again . You are obviously a loving grandma and your family need you back on form! Your nine year old granddaughter recognizes that she needs to be in her own home just now. When she is feeling more secure she will be back ! Hope her anxiety regarding going into school is beginning to reduce . Her mum will be very anxious too and needs you to be a positive influence . Please recognize your own worth and strength and if you haven't spoken to your GP I urge you to do so. Acknowledge how you are feeling then pull out the stops to regain your
emotional health. Good luck 🍀

jeanie99 Sat 08-May-21 13:22:47

Sounds like you are depressed.

Is your granddaughter being bullied at school?