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Silence.

(16 Posts)
beautybumble Sat 08-May-21 18:00:50

I, like many others, feel so alone. There! I've said it. I never like to complain and not really now, but this is not how human beings should have to live. Divorced 25 years ago and so relieved to have got away from that and since then I wasn't lucky to meet a nice man to share my life with. I worked as a carer for 30 years so never had the chance of socializing. Since I retired I crave someone to talk to, not just for a few minutes every once in a while, but every day. Someone to care for and be cared for by. I'm not looking for advice. I know for sure that there are many people out there who are like me. For those of you who have someone in your life, you really don't know how lucky you are, I would have what you have in a jiffy. If you feel alone and need a friend my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. Please forgive me, I feel so very much alone. I wish you well.

Soozikinzi Sat 08-May-21 18:05:31

Hope you’re ok and find company on here . I’m sure a few will be along to share their stories! This pandemic has affected so many people and some more than others . The usual activities and volunteering which provides company are all closed but you very made it this far ! Just hang on a few more weeks and things will be looking up I’m sure.

Ev1951 Sat 08-May-21 18:21:33

I feel the same. Like I'm just existing. And I really hate feeling sorry for myself. Trying to be upbeat and positive and hoping for better days to come.

Forsythia Sat 08-May-21 18:28:48

You’re not alone, lots of people feel the same. However, you’ve only got to read some of the sad stories on here to see that having someone in your life doesn’t always work out well. Isolation is difficult because of COVID. I go days without seeing anybody but my DH. I’m looking forward to trying new things when lockdown lifts and you can do that too. Who knows, you might meet that special someone through a new shared interest.

keepingquiet Sat 08-May-21 19:40:43

I gave up on finding that special someone years ago and have found ways to value and enjoy my own company. During lockdown I had no choice anyway. You sound a little depressed, counselling has helped me and just talking to people too. I don't envy couples, for some lockdown must have been a nightmare!
Think of all the great things you've done in your life and will do again!

Jaxjacky Sat 08-May-21 19:59:49

Silverline offer a friendship telephone service and Befriending UK have a similar scheme. Just double check it’s the authentic ones. There may be local voluntary schemes you can help with where you’ll meet other people and be able to chat; maybe offer to walk dogs if you can’t or don’t want one yourself, dog owners always chat.

Redhead56 Sat 08-May-21 21:47:27

When you retire you do have to adjust it can be quite surprising how it hits you. If you have family friends or ex colleagues you see you must talk to them. If you don't let people know how you feel they can't support you. You have been working with people for a long time. You are a people person therefore being on your own is not healthy for your mind. I suggest consider volunteering too it's a way to meet people and make friends. This has been a difficult time for everyone you are not alone. You will always get support here embrace it as it's meant well. 💐

Esspee Sat 08-May-21 23:35:55

I went out of my way to find someone using on line dating. I’m not the type to go out to a pub or club, never have been. It is by far the safest way to get to know someone before meeting them and I actually whittled it down to just a few very quickly. My now OH, like me, had lost his spouse to cancer so to start with we had something in common.
I am sorry for people who feel lonely but wonder why you don’t do something about it. Happy to help if you PM me.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sun 09-May-21 10:25:25

I empathise beautybumble. Like you I divorced 25years ago and never met another partner. I would never disregard the idea,I just never found anyone I clicked with! That said as others have said you can be even lonelier in an unhappy relationship.
Last year I lived alone and tbh was perfectly happy and very self contained. I kept in touch constantly with friends and family online and there were garden visits etc.
My daughter moved back in a few months ago. I have had both my covid jabs. I started a F/T job in January which until this week is WFH. Now I will be going into the office one day a week. Why then have I spent this past few days feeling quite isolated? In my case I dont drive which really doesnt help. I think it will be a few weeks before my second jab is fully effective and I am happy to get on a bus. My first day in the office was very surreal due to social distancing. Now I have been vaccinated and things have opened up I long for the simple pleasures such as meeting friends for coffee but constant cold wet weather hasnt helped. I'm also I think adjusting to working FT for the first time in over 25 years,it feels as though so much pressure to make most of weekend! Unfortunately I'm quite tired.
I think we do have to be very aware of the affect of the past year on our wellbeing. In reality I am not on my own,far from it but I feel strangely isolated. I think we are in some ways in a bit of a grey area where we are dealing with a new normal and lots of uncertainty. I wish you well OP and applaud your honesty. I hope as the summer progresses and weather improves you get the chance to meet other people. There is an organisation called Meet Up which can be a brilliant opportunity to get together with other people and is starting to slowly arrange activities again. Meetups cover a multitude of interests from having cake and coffee to walking,arts and crafts. Like most things it can be finding your niche group but it's worth a try. Feel free to PM me.😊

Nanof3 Sun 09-May-21 10:43:14

Have you heard of the U3A, there are lots of groups covering different interests, it's cheap to join and very welcoming.

nadateturbe Sun 09-May-21 11:08:42

My daughter joined several Meetup groups. There is also U3A which I joined. If you get out and socialise you may not feel so lonely at home.
Having a partner is not always as wonderful as you think.

JPB123 Sun 20-Jun-21 19:34:21

Gosh I feel the same.I was fine before the pandemic but now I am anxious and hate being on my own.
I don't have masses of friends and my best friend lives many miles away.Several friends died last year too,which has made me feel more vunerable. I didn't mind being on my own before,but not now.I want to meet up with like minded people,have a laugh and enjoy life again.Zoom,for me,isn't the answer.

BlueBelle Sun 20-Jun-21 20:44:01

I ve been on my own 25 years too after 3 tries I ve never met anyone else who I have wanted to share the rest of my days with I get most of my fulfilment from voluntary work my garden, allotment, friends the sea, beach I lead a fairly simple life by many’s standards but I feel ok about it

Susysue Mon 21-Jun-21 14:22:23

Beauty bumble, I am sorry to hear you are lonely and upset. As others have mentioned, being in a relationship is great when it works out but can be even more lonely when it doesn't. I can't wait personally to be on my own. Have you tried to maybe join a yoga group or fitness class locally as that not only is good for your body but also your mind and can be a way of meeting others to speak to. Or another Hobby?? Here if you would like a chat anytime xx

Mumofthree Thu 15-Jul-21 11:06:13

beautybumble

I, like many others, feel so alone. There! I've said it. I never like to complain and not really now, but this is not how human beings should have to live. Divorced 25 years ago and so relieved to have got away from that and since then I wasn't lucky to meet a nice man to share my life with. I worked as a carer for 30 years so never had the chance of socializing. Since I retired I crave someone to talk to, not just for a few minutes every once in a while, but every day. Someone to care for and be cared for by. I'm not looking for advice. I know for sure that there are many people out there who are like me. For those of you who have someone in your life, you really don't know how lucky you are, I would have what you have in a jiffy. If you feel alone and need a friend my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. Please forgive me, I feel so very much alone. I wish you well.

hi, I hope you are ok. I am new on here and live on my own, I didn't ever feel lonely until lockdown, even though I still had to go to work. My family is tiny now and I only have 2 daughters living near me and one of them is moving away soon. I was very upset about this as I only found out last week and I was feeling so sad at 'losing' her because I know I am used to seeing her regularly. I retire in June and am going to try and find things to do, I am not hopeful of finding a partner as I am usually ok on my own but it's family I miss as I have hardly any left near me. hope you are feeling better though. check in and let us know.

Ev1951 Thu 15-Jul-21 16:36:15

I feel exactly the same beautybumble. Words can't express my sadness but I try really hard to make each day meaningful but afraid I fail miserably. Got to the point that I no longer know how to help myself.