What would your reaction be if your DH watched this!

Why has this post resurfaced from June last year?

"I have a serious problem with porn, but less so with true crime". Me too agnurse.

I'd feel weird and disgusted Bashful.

Seems she/he is a little interested in sex threads ???
Daily Mail?
Granny’s sex lives……. be careful what you write folks

MerylStreep

lemsip

JUNE 2021 post revived in DEC 2021 . did the poster search for this old thread?

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It’s not the only one ?

OmaLoocie. Why is this person reviving old threads on same similar themes today?

Stiff, It must be so hard for you, but at 63 your life expectancy is at least 20 years and could be more. Do you really want to live as you now live for that long?

Go and talk to your local Age UK to check on what benefits you would be entitled to if you went alone. You could be entitled to Housing benefit, Council tax benefit and Pension credit.

When you have worked out how you would manage alone, you will be able to put financial issues to one side and just look at your relationship problems as the issue and make a decision then. You could also seek counselling to help you make that decision. Relate www.relate.org.uk/ deal with all kinds of relationship problem and I am sure your problem with a husband addicted to porn, is one they deal with regularly.

lemsip

*JUNE 2021* post revived in DEC 2021 . did the poster search for this old thread?

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It’s not the only one ?

Interesting that I found this post as my husband, 63 years, is also hooked on porn. We haven’t had sex now for 3 years, don’t even cuddle anymore and I am sure it’s all because of this. I’m realising now that I will never experience intimacy again if I remain with him but in every other way he is a good husband. I’m also a bit scared about being on my own, starting again at my age and also finances being halved. At the moment I am in turmoil, just not knowing what to do. Put up with it or go it alone.

JUNE 2021 post revived in DEC 2021 . did the poster search for this old thread?



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I completely agree with you FannyCornforth, that is my reading of the situation (he enjoys watching women being degraded).

I do not think I could tolerate a relationship with a man who watched that kind of content. It is an outward sign of what is going on in his mind and that would so disgust me that any kind of close relationship would be impossible.

FannyCornforth

Hello
You said at the start of your post that your husband enjoys watching porn, and then you sort of brush it off, and talk about the YouTube thing.
They are one and the same thing.
He enjoys watching women being degraded.
I would be horrified.
I would have got shut of him as soon as I knew he was watching porn. I know that some women can 'put up with it', but I'm not one of them.

Totally agree

I think I'd feel the same way you did, Bashful. Because you know he watches porn, other things he says and does will now be coloured by that. Also, if it was just being interested in a crime/reality programme why should storming off be his reaction to your reaction?

I’d be more worried about the porn than the documentary . Porn these days is not just top shelf mags and it’s probably distorted his views on sex if he no longer wants it with you.

I agree Jaxjacky context is everything. Crime programmes do tend be graphic nowadays. However the OP does seem concerned and is linking it with the porn her husband watches. I think you need an honest conversation with your husband Bashful about how this makes you feel.

I have a serious issue with the porn, but less so with the true crime.

Hubby and I both have an interest in true crime. He's a security guard and I'm a nurse. Neither of us would ever DREAM of committing the acts we learn about, but it may be this very fact that draws us to this genre. Ann Rule, one of the foremost true crime writers of the 20th century, wrote that the majority of her readers were gentle people who would never commit a crime themselves.

Some films on YouTube are unofficial ‘films’ and are uploaded illegally by people who work in Mortuaries etc. So not your usual soft porn films and often not the usual films released by legitimate companies.
Some films, (Crime Porn?) are often very graphic and TBH pretty awful, so I’m not surprised at your reaction. It sounds as though he is pretty immune to it though, probably due to too much exposure of this type of material.

Some men are addicted to watching porn and it can be difficult to get them to stop.

You have to decide if you want to stay with someone who gets his kicks watching that kind of thing.

I’d need to know the context of the pm he was watching to make a constructive comment.

eazybee

It is what you and your husband think that matters, not what other people think.

I get the impression that bashful is asking permission to feel as she does.
She said that it made her want to vomit.
She obviously isn't happy with it.
Women are under pressure to accept their males revolting behaviour.
It's women's instinct to reject it.

It is what you and your husband think that matters, not what other people think.

Sounds rather yuk to me. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.

I agree Fanny, I have mixed feelings. On one hand, some people find true crime interesting. On the other, OP was sensing something else and that bothered her. I don't really want to dismiss that gut feeling but I don't want to make assumptions about the situation either. Suffice to say that if he was enjoying it for seeing a woman degraded, that would bother me greatly. I really don't know how I would deal with that TBH.

Hello
You said at the start of your post that your husband enjoys watching porn, and then you sort of brush it off, and talk about the YouTube thing.
They are one and the same thing.
He enjoys watching women being degraded.
I would be horrified.
I would have got shut of him as soon as I knew he was watching porn. I know that some women can 'put up with it', but I'm not one of them.

Context is everything here.

I love horror films so I don’t want to pass judgement before knowing.

I don’t know. I think it was on Youtube. I’d have to go and look for it as I switched off when he stomped off.

What’s the show called?