Husband becoming obsessed with much younger single neighbour

There have been suggestions upthread of early Dementia symptoms.
You might like to read this
What are the symptoms of frontotemporal dementia?
Behaviour and/or dramatic personality changes, such as swearing, stealing, increased interest in sex or a deterioration in personal hygiene habits
Socially inappropriate ,impulsive, or repetitive behaviour
Impaired judgment
Apathy
Lack of empathy
Decreased self awareness

I think the concern here is both for the man’s wife but also for the neighbour. The last thing anyone wants is someone living next to them who makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe - and the last thing that the OP wants is the police showing up because she’s made a (justifiable!) complaint.

(I don’t think it’s fair on the OP to derail her thread any further, but I found katie59’s comments about women with children by more than one father genuinely unpleasant and clearly they breached the site guidelines. Feel free to DM me with any other comments and let’s leave this as a space for the OP to get the support and advice she came here for)

if he is delusional he could become more than a pest.
hope something is done to shift the situation.

I should think the neighbour would welcome you speaking to her. It might be a relief for her to know that you are aware of the problem.

AmberSpyglass

Well GN deleted it, so it’s clearly not just me.

Well maybe Amber would like to tell me, or is she just afraid to come clean.

muffinthemoo

Ah come on now, an affair? When he’s in his seventies? Even if the spirit were willing the flesh is surely incapable. Things are bad enough for bettina without setting her to chase that hare.

I hope your son helps to get to the bottom of this, and I hope your husband has just gone a bit odd in lockdown and there’s nothing medically troubling him.

It's not unheard of, muffinthemoo!

But I think as far as this scenario is concerned, chance would be a fine thing!

I didn’t understand what upset you Amberglass perhaps I read it in a different way to you but I didn’t get anything particularly bad in it certainly not anything necessary to report Perhaos I missed something

Vanecam
I fully disagree

If I had a neughhbour wait for me when he knows I will be there for the school bus, it would make me very uncomfortable.
His behaviour is predatory and creepy.

OP's DH has a medical issue that needs to be managed or if not, a kick in the butt and a serious conversation with him to cut it off.

Well GN deleted it, so it’s clearly not just me.

AmberSpyglass bit over the top aren't you?

No neither do I Polarbear. If people are reporting posts like this it is no wonder that good and trustworthy posters are banned for life.

I didn’t understand it either polarbear

Sorry I tried to quote but it didn’t work. Why Amber was reporting Katies post? I’m not disagreeing if there’s something there but I can’t see it ?

Polarbear2

Me too. I’ve read it 3x and can’t see the problem?? ?

What have you read 3 times Polarbear2?

Me too. I’ve read it 3x and can’t see the problem?? ?

I agree with gt66.
Sounds like he has a thing for her and i think he is being verydisrespectful to you.

Detailed =derailed

I agree with Bluebelles posts.

I do hope this thread doesnt get detailed, and shut down.
I'm concerned for Bettinalove situation and would like her to be able to come back with an up date.

Good luck with the meeting with your son today. It's all very upsetting for you and the family.

VANECAM
My step daughter has one such neighbour, but there have been no messages exchanged. Now the police are involved.

AmberSpyglass

What a disgusting, sexist comment Katie59. I’ve reported it.

Why did you report it?.
Just interested

“No fool like an old fool”
Reminds me of the Italian PM Berlusconi when he had that 18yr old partner/wife - not sure which.
It was just ridiculous, laughable.

I'm thinking of you too and here are some x

What a disgusting, sexist comment Katie59. I’ve reported it.

There is nothing to add here really.


I think she is simply tolerating him and as said over and over again, he is obsessed.

His IT lessons are probably so he can appear more modern and up-to-date than he really is!

Thinking of you.

luluaugust

Quite Polarbear2, I know two mid seventy year old gents who have been having "affairs" lately. It seems to me that something happens in the brain which clouds boundaries and reactions but which isn't dementia. I would have a word with the lady concerned.

I think some old men just get more selfish and determined to have what THEY want despite anyone else's suffering. It doesn't sound like Bettinalove's husband is like this, but his behaviour is certainly very inappropriate and upsetting.

I think finding new things to do could help, but Bettina has already said he doesn't want to do things with her.

Having being on the receiving end of unwanted attention from an older man with no seeming boundaries, I would echo that it's definitely not dementia in my case but that the person seems to feel entitled and special- overlooking the fact that he is at a different life stage and not noticing that his behavior is unwelcome. Unfortunately some men have been good looking, charming and flirtatious in their youth and cannot grasp the fact that they are old and their behavior is completely unwanted. There's no fool like an old fool. The one I mentioned talks about women constantly and targets me as one of many "interests". He seems to stalk many women, and is a general pest who many avoid.

I hope your son is really able to get to the bottom of this Bettinalove.