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Crossroads

(10 Posts)
Puzzled Thu 26-Aug-21 18:09:55

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life!
Try to find something that you enjoy doing, even better if with your DP.
Volunteer (Every charity / group will need volunteers, for all sorts of posts, book keeping, archiving, even tidying or food/drink production) gardening, walking, painting, sculpture, photography, decorating, travel, whatever appeals.
Join your local U3A, it will have lots of activities.
There will always be something that you can do that will enjoy, and maybe help the less fortunate.

Eviebeanz Sun 22-Aug-21 19:40:45

If your dh is at home on the same days as you perhaps you could go for walks or trips out together. Me and my dh will be in a similar situation to you after Christmas in that 1 grandson will be starting school and his brother who we look after will be starting nursery. We will still do school pick ups I imagine. Although we will miss seeing so much of them I hope we'll make the most of the time when the weather is good and our health allows to get out and about.

Kate1949 Sun 22-Aug-21 19:28:12

I used to volunteer in a primary school helping 6 and 7 year olds with their reading. It was lovely. I got asked to help on school trips too. I visited castles, theatres, parks etc. Marvellous.

Jezra Sun 22-Aug-21 09:51:19

It’s like a bereavement isn’t it Buonanima?
I am in a similar situation except it’s not grandchildren. I spent so long caring for my parents and they both died last year. Most of my time was taken up with them and now there is such a void, I am at a loss. My only grown up child is in a long term relationship and has his own life to live but I miss the closeness we used to have as well. It’s certainly not easy when your grandchildren fill up so much of your time. You come to depend on them for your happiness I suppose. Good advice has been given on this thread though about playing to your nurturing side and volunteering in the childcare sector. However in practice it’s not so easy at first as you will still be bereft at your loss. Bit by bit though you will become used to a new way of life and then you won’t feel so bad. You will still have a strong bond with your grandchildren. Best of luck.

Shelflife Sun 22-Aug-21 09:26:38

Why not volunteer at a local primary school and support children develop their reading skills. Beanstalk is a company that deals with this , you will have to be security checked of course. That would be a wonderful asset for the school and a satisfying and worthwhile occupation for you. There is nothing wrong with you ! You miss your ' nurturing' that is understandable, but our lives change and we all learn to accommodate this. Be assured your GC will always remember their time with you , but it is time for them to move on - as it is for you. You still see them and your bond will remain - be happy ! Find some worthwhile and satisfying to fill the void. No need to feel insecure , your children and GC are doing well and you have a sound relationship with them - what's not to like !? Seems all is well , immerse yourself in some voluntary work - it is very rewarding.

Shropshirelass Sun 22-Aug-21 09:24:42

I feel similar but in my case it was looking after elderly relatives. Sadly they are no longer with us and I have to regroup to find myself again. It is quite a void.

Grandmabatty Sun 22-Aug-21 09:21:27

You've hit the nail on the head, you are a nurturer and now you have no one to nurture! Your life has been about caring for others in some capacity so it's not surprising that now you're feeling bereft. You could volunteer at a school or a charity shop or volunteer to help the elderly. Or you could find things that you would like to do, just for you. Take up a hobby that will challenge you. Learn a language. Spend the time with your dh. Perhaps organise trips with him. Emotionally you need to distract yourself. You have insight into your personality which is great.

sodapop Sun 22-Aug-21 09:20:31

I agree with Peasblossom do some voluntary work with children, spend time with your husband getting out and about. Don't waste this time you have when you are fit and well on being regretful.

Peasblossom Sun 22-Aug-21 09:12:55

Go and help in a school or playgroup, preferably not the one your granddaughters go to. That’s a bit too needy😬

You clearly enjoy being with young children. Make the most of it.😀

Buonanima Sun 22-Aug-21 09:07:35

This is the first time I have used Gransnet, and thought it the best place as a potential forum to discuss the way forward. Ok here goes - I have reached a crossroads in my life. Around 10 years ago, I experienced the joy of having our first grandchild, Subsequent years produced another 4 granddaughters, my husband and I were involved in child care over these years, the youngest of the 5 grandchildren all started school last week. So for around 9 years my life has been made up as follows, 2 days working in the NHS, 2 days looking after grandchildren and one day for myself where I could do as I pleased. My choice was always reaching out to friends for a lunch date. The truth is I now miss the 2 days of nurturing my grandchildren albeit we are still involved in pick up, drop off and swimming lessons. It’s the bit in the middle where I don’t know what to do with myself. My DH is off the same days as he has always been part of child care too. What’s wrong with me, I should be happy I have more time, but to me, I feel a huge void has been created and I miss my grandchildren so much. Emotionally, how do I get used to this big empty space I feel has been created. By nature, I’m a nurturer. I have 2 beautiful daughters who lead busy lives, and I find I’m always trying to arrange family get togethers as I miss their company to, but appreciatecat the same time they have their own lives. Feel dreadfully insecure.