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Emotional abuse dies non contact constitute it.

(15 Posts)
VioletSky Mon 10-Jan-22 19:21:14

Why did she fight visitation in court? What was she saying about your sons suitability as a father?

I would say it is emotional abuse if she was deliberately separating her son from a good father and using abuse tactics to lie and manipulate the son against the partner.

If she is a good mother and not emotionally abusive in other ways I would not call this emotional abuse and I would be very concerned about whatever her argument was in court.

MercuryQueen Mon 10-Jan-22 19:04:20

I think there’s a lot of missing information. For one, your son works away a lot. What impact has the pandemic had? If she’s asking him to quarantine/provide proof of negative tests, then I don’t see her as being unreasonable, but taking appropriate precautions to keep their child safe. Can he have virtual visitation if in person isn’t possible? How old is the child?

With so little information in the OP, it’s hard to tell what’s going on.

AGAA4 Mon 10-Jan-22 15:26:36

Some mother's can be very obstructive even when there is an agreement made by the courts for a father to see his children.
A friend's ex wife had told their two girls that he was a bad man and they became afraid to see him.
I believe this is child abuse as the child suffers most from this behaviour.
I think this is quite common. A way to punish an ex partner.

Iam64 Mon 10-Jan-22 15:11:59

How would thst help Ellen

EllanVannin Mon 10-Jan-22 14:39:34

Hard to say but the rules have been laid out and there's nothing you can do. Grandparents get little or no consideration at the best of times where separated parents are concerned.

I would tell the child's mother that you're going to apply through the courts to see your grandchild and see what happens.

Smileless2012 Mon 10-Jan-22 14:28:46

I read it that way too eazybee.

eazybee Mon 10-Jan-22 12:39:29

I read it as the mother not honouring the terms of the agreement:'she shifts like the wind,' but perhaps I am wrong.

Hithere Mon 10-Jan-22 12:35:55

So many different unknowns here

1. Looks like a legally binding and abiding agreement has been reached.
What is the agreement now?
What does your son want now?
Did he try to negotiate before it was legal?

2. Looks like she has been always the primary carer.
How old is the child?
How much does your son travel?
What kind of a father is he when he is away and present?

3. I get a sense that while your son does have access to his child (not to his satisfaction though), it is the word "we" that needs clarification.
Who is we? The grandparents? His side of the family?

"Former partner has been very obstructive to the point we thought we may never see our grandson"

4. How old is the child?
How often did you see your gc before - with or without your son?

If this is has been recent, I would let your son establish a good coparenting relationship with his ex before introducing other family members.

CafeAuLait Mon 10-Jan-22 09:27:43

Too many variables possible here. Would need to hear the other side.

If the mother is refusing to let a fit and willing father have his time with his child, or getting the child excited about the visit then not letting it go ahead, not okay. If the child is an infant and the mother is just asking for a bit of flexibility in the details of the arrangement (such as timing here and there), then probably okay.

If the big picture is denying the child a relationship with his parent, when there is no very real reason for doing so, I would call that emotional abuse.

Smileless2012 Mon 10-Jan-22 09:19:26

If she is preventing your GC from seeing his father despite an agreement being reached, I agree with Poppyred that it is emotional abuse.

netflixfan Mon 10-Jan-22 09:17:48

Is the Mother following the CAFCASS plan which presumably has been approved by the Court? If so, there is little to be done for now. It’s awful that you miss your grandson, so sorry.

notgran Mon 10-Jan-22 09:17:16

Your son can call it anything, if an agreement has been reached then your son is a bit late deciding it's all on her terms and now not agreeing. For the child's sake you all have to be supportive of each other.

Poppyred Mon 10-Jan-22 09:11:06

Yes, you’re right. It is emotional abuse. But there is nothing that you can do about it, unfortunately.

Women are notorious at doing this to get back at their former partners/husbands, no thought given to the children involved.
Very selfish.

Iam64 Mon 10-Jan-22 08:37:17

Son works away a lot -‘Done the Cafcass thing, been to a Court hearing but it is still all on her terms.

This post suggests you’re angry and unimpressed by your grandchild’s mother. If an agreement has been reached/thrashed out how can it constitute emotional abuse of your grandchild

Ski66 Mon 10-Jan-22 08:27:29

I have read up about emotional abuse. However nowhere can I find much about this scenario. Son and partner are separated. Son works away a lot but is always eager to see his child. Former partner has been very obstructive to the point we thought we may never see our grandson, a sorry state of affairs. They have thrashed out an agreement ,been to a court hearing,done the CAFCASS thing but still it is all on her terms. She shifts like the wind which infuriates us all. Our son calls this emotional abuse of his son . Any thoughts?