Dating a widower with adult children

I agree with nonogran.

If he is recently widowed maybe his kids think it’s too soon. He sounds a bit too weak to face up to his children so would rather abandon you than them. Fair enough.
I think you’ve missed a bullet here and might find yourself glad, in the long run, that it just wasn’t meant to be. Step children are powerful and can cause untold unhappiness.

Sorry , supposed to read daughter goes out of her way to be nice to me now.
Should have read through properly ,before posting .

5yrs after my husband died I met a widower and we enjoyed walking, meals out,theatre, orchestra and after about a year decided to live together.My family were fine.
His family weren't happy and thought I was after his money.
They were worried about their inheritance and after he sold his house, he gave them their share.
I wrote a letter to them to say that very sadly my husband had left me fairly well off and I did not need anyone else's money.
I always pay my share , and indeed sometimes pay for surprise outings myself.
The daughter goes out if her wants be nice to me now , but son doesn't really speak.
I've been through enough heartache , to worry about what he thinks.
Enjoying what you can , beats being lonely .

A very sad situation, but if his adult, independent children are able to wield so much influence over him I doubt if your relationship would ever be a happy one.

Imanana2025, How sad that you are in this situation with your man friend , His children should be happy he has someone in his later years, they should see that it takes the efforts off them to keep him company ,
Can you possibly arrange a meeting with his family, explain how you feel about their Dad, that you aren’t a gold digger, you have your own money, suggest he draws up his will with their inheritance in it so they can’t accuse you of being a gold digger,
He obviously has feelings for you. , I can’t understand why his family would want to see their Dad upset ,
Good Luck , it needs careful handling but I really hope it works out for you both ,

Sad though it is, if their worry is their inheritance, why doesn't the father make a Will in their favour, and show his children that they have nothing to worry about. He should let them know that you are in favour of the Will too. Surely that would reassure his children that you are certainly not a gold-digger.

How long has he been a widower? That might explain their over reaction. Perhaps they feel he's moving on too quickly.

How sad for you both do you know why they disapprove at all you would expect them to be happy their father had met a partner.
Do they think their relationship with their father will change in some way or as silverlining48 has posted is it to do with inheritance at a later date.

sodapop

It probably is true though silverlining what a selfish family. Sadly its probably best you don't continue with this relationship Inana2025 it would only bring more unhappiness

I agree with sodapop. Who needs all that stress, drama and hate in their life? Nobody. Walk away and live a lovely life without such toxic behaviour. They are not your family or your relations so you can do it with no feeling of guilt. He needs to find someone else who the family respond better towards, it clearly isn't meant to be.

It probably is true though silverlining what a selfish family. Sadly its probably best you don't continue with this relationship Inana2025 it would only bring more unhappiness

Not saying this is the case but sometimes AC in these situations are concerned about inheritance.
It happened in our extended family and caused a lot of upset.

Dear me how very sad, his adult children should be pleased he has someone in his life and be happy for him. Some years after my father died my mother met a gentleman later on in life and her friend asked me if I was OK with their friendship.
Of course why wouldn't I be and it is a blessing at they are well advanced in years.

I am sorry you have had such a reaction from his children and very immature of them to behave in such a way. There doesn't seem to be an answer to this and my thoughts are with you.

I am very sorry for you. the family are being very selfish indeed. They should be pleased for their dad. It is possible for him to make arrangements so that they still get what they consider to be their fair share. I hope this can come to a happier conclusion and I wish you well.