Gransnet forums


Grandma jealousy

(54 Posts)
Grandmarosie62 Wed 09-Feb-22 16:55:10

I need some help for myself. Whenever there is a get together and both grandmas are there .My 3 year old granddaughter who I spend so much time with. Completely ignored me. I was very upset this wasn’t the first time it happened.So I left the party early. I get so ANGRY

Tangerine Wed 01-Jun-22 10:33:20

Your granddaughter is 3 years old.

I think you should not get so upset over the actions of a very little girl.

AussieNanna Sun 29-May-22 03:26:02

it is ok and normal to feel irrationally jealous or upset or something - how you feel is how you feel even if you know it is irrational.

To not be able to rationalise it or realise it is your problem, not the other person (especially a 3 year old person!) is not normal though
and behaving in an angry or upset manner over it is only going to alienate you from other family members who, quite rightly, will see such behaviour as unreasonable.

if you cant get on top of this by yourself would counselling help?

Not to change the 3 year old or anyone else - but to help you cope with what after all is a non problem unless you make it one.

Hetty58 Sat 28-May-22 23:20:42

Crikey - you expect a three year old to give you equal time and attention? This is a 'problem' of your own making. My grandchildren interact a lot with me - when I'm babysitting. In a family gathering situation, though, they're far too busy playing together and pestering their aunts, uncles and parents. I watch from a distance and provide refreshments!

Audi10 Sat 28-May-22 23:08:55

Jeez, she’s only 3 years old, you actually sound very immature so you left the party early and angry! Get a grip, and give your head a wobble!

Airmid Wed 25-May-22 22:33:33

It's so hurtful if you think your grandchild is rejecting you or favouring someone else. I totally understand: these tiny children mean the world to us, and they haven't a clue about our emotions. Just keep doing what you do best: love your grandchild, and take a nice long perspective. There's room in her heart for all her family members, and nobody else can bring into her life the particular joys that you do. Hang in there. X

Gwenisgreat1 Thu 10-Feb-22 22:56:33

Well, at the moment, I am lucky! The Dear Dad if my DGS has never told his mother she has a beautiful little GS (they don't get on). My other DD, her MIL only likes them when they are babies (my dGD told me that (she is nearly 6 now). I feel sorry for the others, they are missing out on two lovely children.

JenniferEccles Thu 10-Feb-22 22:43:56

This is surely a wind up.

Nannarose Thu 10-Feb-22 21:28:37

These last 2 years have been very hard on all families. I get the impression that Grandmarosie knows she is being daft, and came on here for some advice dealing with it.
As Discodancer points out, she simply said that she left the party early. If she was feeling upset and not quite in control of her emotions, it was probably a sensible thing to do.

However, Grandmarosie, it is difficult to advise. If you know why you feel such strong emotions at normal 3 year old behaviour, that may help. I'd begin by wondering if it is the other gran you can't stand, or if being 'ignored' triggers something in you.

If you can't fathom it, I'd suggest talking to someone - a trusted friend who might have some insight - or who will just let you bitch a bit to get your perspective back! If it is really bothersome, a counsellor may help, but I think these odd times have led many of us to 'over-react'.

I don't know if you've read this far, but I hope you have found something useful

Urmstongran Thu 10-Feb-22 21:26:36

You don’t sound a very nice person GrandmaRosie.
Get a grip of your emotions woman.

Luckygirl3 Thu 10-Feb-22 21:22:36

Was the little one enjoying herself? - that is all that matters.

Sara1954 Thu 10-Feb-22 19:55:48

My three year old granddaughter often says she doesn’t like me today, but she’ll like me tomorrow!
I just say, okay, well I’ll look forward to that.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 10-Feb-22 18:58:48

You’re probably right there Iam.

dragonfly46 Thu 10-Feb-22 18:56:08

Our 3 year old DGS told me that he really liked DH but not to worry as his sister really liked me. It just made me chuckle.
I love my DC and DGC unconditionally.

Iam64 Thu 10-Feb-22 18:55:06

Germanshepherdsmum, or if they do get what they want. Which sometimes seems to be to stir up decent grannies 😏. I was pulled into this one

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 10-Feb-22 18:42:44

Disappeared from both I think, as posters so often do if they don’t get the answer they want.

Callistemon21 Thu 10-Feb-22 18:36:25

Sorry, smoothie I meant you.

Callistemon21 Thu 10-Feb-22 18:35:42

I understand now, thank you silverlining!

smoothie Thu 10-Feb-22 18:08:47



Same gran I think. The other thread started 5 years ago.

Must be another grandchild, then, if this one is only three.

I agree, I think you may need help with your anger issues, GrandmaRosie.
Perhaps your GP can help to point you in the right direction.

What was meant, I believe, is that GrandmaRosie also posted on a thread from 2017 that was similar to her current situation. She posted there and then made this post, or vice versa. So one old thread resurrected from the tombs of GN and one that is brand new. thanks

Sara1954 Thu 10-Feb-22 10:02:48

Wow, don’t understand you at all, enjoy the grown up company for a change.

TerriBull Thu 10-Feb-22 09:53:03

Absolutely futile in getting het up over the vagaries of a three year old's behaviour, it's not as if they understand their own moods and whims or the causes and effects they may have on those around them.

Pepper59 Thu 10-Feb-22 09:48:24

My grandchild sometimes spends time with their other grandparents and in large groups, would say hello then happily spend time with other grandparents, aunties etc. Jealousy is such a destructive thing and will bring you nothing but unhappiness and heartache. Please be rest assured your grandchild loves you just as much as others. Eventually, they will grow up and go on their way like our children do. Just enjoy the company and go with the flow. Let go of the negativity, you will feel better.

honeyrose Thu 10-Feb-22 09:39:57

Grandma Rosie you’re hurting yourself by walking out. Enjoy chatting to the adults whilst there! Children are very fickle and obviously not mature - they’ve not learned to “circulate” at parties. I really do know how you feel, believe me, as I’ve experienced it myself with my own granddaughters, and I’ve felt slightly hurt (but not showed it), but I’m sure your GD loves you and will demonstrate that when you next spend time with her. Remember that you will have “alone time” with her in future, but please also try to remember that she’s only a child and will sometimes gravitate to others. It’s human nature. Be thankful that you have a lovely, loving GD who you can spend a lot of time with.

Peasblossom Thu 10-Feb-22 09:00:54

Wow, she’s too little to understand at the moment but when she’s a bit older she’s going to run a mile from anyone who gets angry because she spends time with other people 😱

HettyBetty Thu 10-Feb-22 09:00:16

You are offended by a three year olds behaviour?

Lucca Thu 10-Feb-22 08:58:01

Oh do get over yourself
I last saw my aussie resident DGC. Over three years ago…..

Get a life.
I don’t care if that’s rude.