Upset at Family moving abroad

I have a daughter in NZ and my biggest sadness is that she misses out on the closeness that being in the UK brings to the rest of the family. She’s had some really hard times and we offer what support we can from a distance, but it’s not the same as jumping in the car to be with her.

FaceTime and WhatsApp are your friends - and Italy is close enough that in an emergency flights are regular and not too long. You will adjust, but right now continue to try keeping your anxious feelings to yourself. ?

I'm another who has "adult children" living abroad.
Italy is such a fabulous country and easy to get to (as others have said).
Just keep smiling and it really will get easier.

Many years ago I took my family (and only granddaughter, to America. I know now how hard it must have been for my mum but to this day I'm still thankful that she made it easy for me - only ever speaking to me of the adventure and positives and the great life experience it would be for our little one. She was braver than I ever knew. And wiser than I ever gave her credit for.

It will DollyD it s bitter /sweet you know you want them to have the best life possible but you want that to be with you or near you ? we always want the best of both worlds but believe me it will gradually get better
Because I don’t have a high income I ve not managed too many visits to Nz and now in my late 70 s I don’t really want to do that long trip I ve seen them about every five years but we talk every week and they are happy have had lots of good opportunities and it’s their life to do what they wish with

Build up your opportunities for doing things yourself, friends hobbies maybe voluntary work and try not to be too sad
I still cry a bucket when I return after seeing them but you just learn to accept it
Takes time.. be kind to yourself

I have 5 sons and 3 live abroad at the moment

Anything that disrupts our familiarity can be shocking in the first instance. Certainly being older, but I’m sure it’ll settle down, and you’ll adapt.

Think of all the lovely trips you’ll be able to take. Try not to worry.

Thanks for your replies, I do feel a bit better having read them and as BlueBelle said it will get a lot easier as I get used to it.

I should add that my mother was still alive when my brother and sister first went to Australia. She was devastated - my sister was her favourite child. But she flew out there every year right up to the year she died. She did say that if OH and I went out there, she would move out there too.

My brother and sister and their families live in Australia. So my children have cousins they rarely see. One of my children has a daughter and my niece has a son. We get together sometimes and it’s wonderful. What with the pandemic we haven’t seen everyone since my niece’s wedding in December 2019. I have missed seeing my nephew and nieces grow up and obviously there have been difficult things happening in both countries. My brother had a dreadful accident over ten years ago. My sister was able to visit him daily but I couldn’t get out there for a few months. Italy though, is so close! A two hour flight and no jet lag. Just think of all that beautiful Italian food!

Try to think about visiting them, Italy isn’t too far away, and keep smiling for their benefit although it must be hard for you.

DD 1 and family left for England for a few years and then went to live in Sydney. I had some lovely memories visiting them. They came back after some years but DD3 left for Manchester UK for good. Family reunions are hard to arrange but they are fun when it works out. I have just booked my ticket for the next visit to the UK.

It ll pass of course it will DollyD it’s been a shock but it’s not the end of the world
My son left for NZ 25 years ago I cried many tears (to myself of course) while smiling and telling him and his then girlfriend now wife to have a great life
I too live alone and although they sugarcoated it by saying they were just going for a look round I knew they d never come back and they haven’t They are no longer British but New Zealand citizens
It will get a lot lot easier and you are not too far away for lovely holidays and meet ups and videos and calls
Our children HAVE to live their own lives they are only lent to us for a short time you have been very lucky to have them living nearby for so long and for having a good relationship
It’s their life now
My two daughters also moved overseas (although one is back) but all 7 of my grandkids were born overseas

You will be fine think of the meet ups and holidays for them and you don’t panic, don’t be sad, be happy for them, you will be fine, it just takes time
Good Luck ?