Gransnet forums

Relationships

Now separated….

(15 Posts)
SeasideGir1 Fri 29-Apr-22 10:52:07

Does anyone know of support groups who can help those who have finally thrown in the towel on 40+ years of marriage to an addict who is just getting worse with old age?

Sparklefizz Fri 29-Apr-22 10:58:10

I'm sorry you're going through this. Well done for making a very difficult decision. (Been there, done that, with an alcoholic)
I am on several health support groups on Facebook so if you do a search you are bound to find one. Make sure it's a closed group so nothing you share is made public.

SeasideGir1 Fri 29-Apr-22 11:00:40

Thank you so much x

Newatthis Fri 29-Apr-22 11:50:29

How brave - well done. This must have been very difficult so I hope the next phase of your life is easier. Can't really offer advice because I have never been there but hope you find a new, happier life.

silverlining48 Fri 29-Apr-22 11:55:35

A hard but necessary decision. This is the beginning of your new life.
A close friend lived her life prevaricating about her very unhappy marriage and when things got even worse it was too late for her to cope with leaving.
She didn’t deserve that sad and miserable life.
Well done 👍 fir being brave

Elless Fri 29-Apr-22 14:26:46

We've just had our ruby wedding anniversary, it is such a long time and I can't imagine what you are going through, it will be a massive change and I hope you get help to see it through, no suggestions sorry but you mention 'addict' what kind of addict? 🤷‍♀️💐

Iam64 Fri 29-Apr-22 14:38:35

Look after yourself seasidegirl, an obvious but one worth reminding ourselves at difficult times. Your GP may know of support groups.
Find a group doing something you enjoy, or fancy trying. I’m in a beginners water colour group, it’s very friendly and gives opportunities to make friends. Water colour is something I’ve never done but I’m enjoying meeting new people and trying something new. Is there anything you’d like to pick up again, or start new. It may not be aimed directly at support but might give some.

AlAnon and other groups for addicts do run groups for those affected by the addictions of a loved one. It’s absolutely draining. You can find AlAnon on line, if that isn’t for you, then they can probably help you find a service that is
Best x

silverlining48 Fri 29-Apr-22 14:51:02

Beginners water colour sounds right up my not very arty street Iam64. I joined U3A the week before lockdown no.1 and it closed by the next meeting. HD planned to try a beginners art group.
Might be worth giving it another try. It might be open again.
Thanks fir the reminder.

Redhead56 Fri 29-Apr-22 14:53:27

You could always ask here if there are any meets near where you live. People often meet ups and it's seems they have a nice time. Well done for making the right decision life is too short to waste it on an addict.

Knittingnovice Fri 29-Apr-22 18:19:51

I think it's brilliant how you have found the strength and courage to leave. Let's hope you inspire many, many people with your bravery and you find the happiness you deserve. X

Allsorts Sat 30-Apr-22 17:09:37

Groups are opening up, my advice, join things you enjoy not just for separated. Believe in yourself and get used to your new freedom.

sodapop Sat 30-Apr-22 20:49:06

That's brave Seasidegirl after so many years of trying to help. I wish you well in your new life, finding a support group is a good idea. Be happy,

Mary59nana Sun 01-May-22 11:34:10

Well done its a great feeling of being free from any kind of addict.
I spent 33years with a compulsive liar not realising at the time but all the peices of the jigsaw fall
Into place.
I wish you well on your new road to happiness

Delila Sun 01-May-22 11:43:20

Have you thought of joining a choir? Singing is very therapeutic and a choir is a great way of making friends. You don’t even need a great voice for many community choirs.
Best wishes to you.

manny Mon 02-May-22 22:34:18

Well done you! I left my husband after a much shorter marriage. Not an addict, but controlling and manipulative. I suspect he’s a narcissist. It’s not an easy path to follow. So many habits you have to break. The hardest thing is coming into an empty house. I’ve had to force myself to embark on lots of new things. Wishing you the very best