Impossible husband

Could he be depressed?

Could he be lonely and need the stimulus of either being visited at home or going out to his usual haunts but with assistance.

Once the 6 weeks are up stop helping him. Just get on with your own life. You aren’t his mother, he is a grown up and knows what he has to do. If you really think he is depressed then he should see his GP. It could be that the operation has made him feel old. Please tell him from me that if he does the exercise he will soon be up and running around and as good as new.

I was going to physio after my hip replacement my husband took me. I was not encouraged to use a stick I was on my feet straight away. My husband was running our business both our children worked. I was left to get on with it myself it's best let your husband to muddle through it. Maybe invite friends around to give him moral support and you a break.
It can be a difficult painful time but if he needs your help he will ask. Some people cope better than others he will be fine stop worrying.

I'm inclined to be like this. A bit of cheerful company helps.

From your previous posts you haven’t been happy with your husband for some time. It sounds as though you have some serious talking to do.

"Take no shit" is a good motto. Walk away. Do your own thing. He knows what he needs to do. Let him get on with it if he's just being difficult when you try to help.

OP

You know what you need to do

You are in a bad marriage

He is doing the physio, I do not see how his attitude will impact his recovery, it is a physical condition.

As a nurse, I can tell you that the best thing for your husband is to do things for himself. As long as his MD and PT are OK with him doing things independently, don't help him. Tell him if he doesn't do his physio, it will be his own fault if he doesn't recover full mobility.

As a wife in a "deceased" marriage for many years, I know how draining it can be. I don't know your details but from the replies, it sounds like things weren't great before the operation. If it's not feasible to separate, make sure to take care of yourself. Do things you enjoy and let hubby worry about himself. We always seem to end up thinking of them all the time, while they don't think much about us.

A work colleague of mine who was a very strong character said "We are all responsible for our own behaviour"....Think its hard when your only trying to help your hubby but maybe best leaving him to it....I know that's what I would do..

Yes he could be depressed but it doesn’t excuse everything

Thank you for all the encouraging replies .
Nursenona , thank you for being so perceptive
Yes I know I am not in a very good marriage and I should have gone long ago but I didn’t
Right now , I couldn’t afford to go as my pension would not allow me to rent a place , and if I did it now , I would be considered the witch of the century !
Our son for one wouldn’t talk to me anymore
So thank you nursenona for somehow knowing that separating isn’t feasible

I remember quite a few of your previous posts as I love your username you seem to be having quite a time of it what with various members of your family and I really feel for you, quite honestly your husband knows what he has to do, you can only try to encourage the rest is up to him op. Start thinking of yourself as you say you are in a bad marriage

Notjustaprettyface, he's doing it in his own (awkward) way - not the logical, sensible way you'd do it. Just get on with your own life, as far as possible, don't nag him about it, eventually he'll recover. If you show too much concern or make it the main topic of conversation, you'll encourage him to be even worse with his attention-seeking behaviour.

Thank you Hetty58
I think you are spot on and I am going to try and do exactly what you suggest
Thank u

I agree with both Baggs and Hetty58.
Your his wife not his mother,leave him to it.
Some men can be such BIG babies.

Hetty is probably quite right, but if it was my dear husband behaving like this (quite likely in similar circumstances) I would feel like kicking him in the seat of his pants!

I would restrain myself, but I should quite definitely tell him that his behaviour was making neither of us feel better, and would he please stop pitying himself RIGHT NOW.