Is it me? he just asked to invite autistic grandson over and we're in middle of kitchen rebuild

I don't think it's just you. My OH would always start a DIY project in the run up to Christmas or some other celebration. It had 2 effects - one to mess up the house with sawdust etc., the other to make him unavailable to help with preparations for the event! Fortunately it hasn't happened in recent years, though he still doesn't appreciate the work that goes into entertaining - even if it's just family.

If this is about common sense definitely not just you. Today I had DGS2. Involves up at 6.30 collecting him at 7.15, dropping mummy at work then today visit to Sainsburys - play on the costly machines outside the shop, Aldi then popped in to visit DM who is 87, memory loss and registered blind (and appears to have found an ex boyfriend who is 88 and keeps staying with her - need another thread for this ?) then book bug which has started again today in my area after pandemic. Message from DH - think I've got bed bug bites so have stripped bed and steam cleaned mattress and mattress cover. Told him to wash the mattress cover at 60 in machine.Dropped off DD2 and DGS2 at 7 at their house. Got home - asked what happened. Had a few itchy spots under tummy for a few days and now one at top of leg. Ok did you wash the sheets and your PJs. No I steamed the mattress and put the old sheets back on. "Nuff said ?‍♀️

Farmor15

I don't think it's just you. My OH would always start a DIY project in the run up to Christmas or some other celebration. It had 2 effects - one to mess up the house with sawdust etc., the other to make him unavailable to help with preparations for the event! Fortunately it hasn't happened in recent years, though he still doesn't appreciate the work that goes into entertaining - even if it's just family.

But this isnt her OH doing the renovation project, it is OP herself.

How long will the project take to finish?

can you just shut the kitchen off while you have visitors?

If he wants to entertain visitors, can he do that while you are working in the kitchen - or you take a short break from working to join them?

Not sure if it is you or him or just a communication break down.

He’s probably bored -with you shut in the kitchen and him unable to do much and wanted some company.
At least your DD would look after her son and entertain your DH.
If it was him doing the kitchen would you still feel that you could invite family around? I would.

I confess, our new kitchen was stripped and fitted by a professional. But DH was being a very hands-on project manager. The fit was three days in and chaos at the maximum, when DH had a heart attack and disappeared off to hospital for eight weeks leaving me to deal with everything else. Then when it was all done he came home again then......... No I will keep that adventure for another day.

I wouldn't have wanted visitors when our kitchen was refitted. Visitors tend to want drinks and snacks or lunch which isn't easy with the kitchen in a mess.
If he really wants to see them ask him to go to them or meet out somewhere so you can get on with the work.

Even the most intelligent of men can be unbelievably stupid at times - and totally unaware of the bleedin obvious.

Agreeing with AGAA your OH could go visit DD and the GS.
You have enough going on at your house ?

I have had a half finished kitchen since this time last year. Not deliberate but it is a useful way of keeping visitors at bay.
As for common sense:
I had open studios in my pottery for the last 2 weekends. Two visitors insisted (and I mean insisted) on bringing their dogs in.

DH was never a DIY er, should I be grateful? but didn't like getting someone in to do a job he would get around to and I couldn't do.
Now he has sadly died I have no problem calling for help though tradespeople are not so easy to pin down either.