12 year old twins having no friends.

I have twin grandchildren boy and a girl and even they have a strong bond that is possibly seen as difficult to get involved in They started high school last September and for the first time were separated . I think DGD found it more difficult as she is friendly with the boy friends of DGS purely by chance as they are mainly parent family friendships from birth but all seem to be boys . Both have settled now and have made friends out of the family groups , but all related to their love of sport. DGD still struggling I feel but think that’s due to the inevitable cattiness of girl friendships. My DD says don’t expect reciprocal invites to play, she always ends up having it all at her house. but would rather that than no playmates for her kids .

They have a bond together and don’t seek or need other friends, separate classes or activities are not likely to change them unless they want to change.
The risk of forcing separation is that jealousy will split them in a bad way when one finds a friend and the other doesn’t, I would encourage them to socialize and not force it.

I think they need to be encouraged to do things separately.

If their school has multiple classes for the same year group you should ask for them to be put in seperate clsses.

I also wonder if it's a twin thing

Are they extroverts, introverts?

Why haven't they received any invites for social for 5 years now?

I have non identical twin Grandaughters . They have a group of same friends from their year at the moment although in senior school they have not been in the same form. Their friends are a mixture of both forms . They go into yr 9 in Sept and are just turned 13 . They are close but not joined at the hip and often disagree , but defend each other against other people

I think previous posters have hit the nail on the head and this is due to the close bond that twins often have. I'm sure as they get older as Mamissimo says they will acquire friends together and separately. Perhaps they need a little encouragement to have separate interests as they go through High School puzov

Im just wondering if this is a twin thing .

As a a child I was friends with a family who had identical twin girls .
They were much older than I was and very sweet to me .
Looking back ,I don't recall either of them having any friends -not even even on their birthday .

In my teens , I knew another set of twins and again -they seemed to do everything together .
And now , I've met some elderly twins who are completely devoted to each other and don't seem to need other people.

I've only met one set of identical twin girls ,who are totally different from each other in every way and have their own friends ,ideas ,style and outlook .

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My identical twins have a very close bond and seemed at times to provide each other with all they needed in friendship. I think other children found it hard to understand their closeness if they wanted to be friends with one of them.

However, as they went through school and university they did collect an amazing group of friends who are close to them both - and a sub set each of less close friends who only know one of them.

One SIL told us that he knew when he married our DD that her sister would be a huge part of his life too. Although they happily live in different parts of the country they still live entwined social lives. They are each other's best friend.

In primary school it’s often parents who facilitate friendships but once they move onto senior school it’s harder as you don’t meet others parents at the school gates.
It is hard and I do understand as I too have a 12 year old GC who is trying to fit into a much larger school. All we can do is be there for them.
A thought, might people think as they are twins that they have to invite both children which could be more awkward ?

Do they attend any of the social activities separately to further support developing as individuals and own interests? I would encourage/ support them and try to model positive social skills/ being interested in others/ being non judgmental but other than that let them find their own way. As a parent we can want to fix things but we all have to find our own way and learn from our interactions by trial and error. I have learned this from hard experience. It can be painful to watch but necessary for them to grow. As they get older they will be able to choose to meet up with friends in town/ community etc. Some parents aren’t great at having any children over to theirs whereas we were always an open house.