Cannabis smoking neighbour

If I thought that they would help, I would say inform Social Services but in my experience, they are worse than useless. They'll spend a lot of time telling you what you can't do as a parent if you have a child with challenging behaviour but can't tell you what you should be doing. They are so used to dealing with really challenging cases that they use a sledgehammer to crack a nut. At the end of the day, when they realise they are not getting anywhere and there is nothing to warrant a child being removed, they just walk away leaving you to it.
I'd be inclined to say something about the smell if it bothers you but don't expect too much to change. As for parents shouting at their preteens, we all know there are better ways of doing things but sometimes life gets the better of us. If the kids are answering back, it doesn't sound like they are too squashed by their treatment!

I think if he was my neighbour, I'd ask them all round for Sunday lunch and be specific about the date. Just offering to help if he needs it, won't work because he would have to ask you - and (men in particular) don't like to ask. Don't mention the cannabis at the lunch. It may be that if he gets regular specific invitations from you that he will feel supported and not need to smoke weed. And he certainly won't be smoking it in your house, anyway!

Smoking it for your own use in your own property usually gets ignored by the police anyway. Just ask him to smoke it further down the garden. I had a similar problem two years ago and he just went to the other end of the garden to do it. It wasn't a big garden but it did the trick. Better he does that than drink in my mind.

nanashirlz, i believe u need to inform any potential buyer of your home, because u have reported on your neighbour, different if u r renting.

Leave the poor bloke alone. Sounds as if he’s doing a fab job of bringing up his kids alone.
Only thing I would suggest is that smoking isn’t the only way to take weed. Choc brownies as people have suggested. I used to crumble it into coffee. I know people who do the same into plant milk. Only thing it’s not as instant as smoking it.
A bong dilutes the smell a little although that’s almost the same as smoking it

They knew that she had the odd joint whilst they were out, but unaware she started smoking it so early in the morning. They turned a blind eye to much of what she got up to and I think the main reason for the house move was because of the trouble and grief she had brought to their door the last few years. They had her quite late in life and I think they were sick and tired of arguing with her. Their own house must’ve had a bad odour especially her bedroom after she moved out, due to the windows being open constantly in all weathers.

Stay out of it. I felt angry with her irresponsible attitude to other drivers. Her parents were unaware she was doing this as both at work.

How did they manage to be unaware if the stench is so awful?

We had to put up with the same horrible stench for two summers whilst the teenage girl next door bummed around at home doing nothing but smoking dope. A year ago she would smoke dope from her bedroom& the stench would go into our garden and into my bedrooms and patio door. I also witnessed her go straight out of the house and hop into the school of motoring car for a driving lesson with perfume sprayed all over herself to disguise the stench. The day she took and passed her driving test she was as high as a kite, as I had seen and smelled her smoking dope an hour beforehand. I wanted to report her to the instructor but my husband put his foot down and told me to
Stay out of it. I felt angry with her irresponsible attitude to other drivers. Her parents were unaware she was doing this as both at work. Luckily they’ve all moved house now so I don’t have the stench in my own property. It is an illegal substance and folk should not have to put up with the stench nearby. I cannot stand regular cigarette smoke either but alas they are not illegal.

I dont think smoking skunk in his house is the answer, remember he has children. My neighbour smokes in shed, garage, but, makes no difference. It STINKS

Why don't you treat him like a responsible adult and just tell him how you're feeling? Why infantisise him by involving his mother? It is quite possible that he just doesn't know that he is offending you...

it smells awful, hence why it is called SKUNK. Police are not interested ,for the most part, in cannabis. If it is heroin or cocaine, thats a different story. My neighbour also smokes skunk ,many times throughout the day. Best thing u can do is have a word and let him know how its affecting you. Cannabis smokers will not stop using because neighbours know. Sad, but true, I also have to close windows etc.

I wouldn’t be able to live and let live. It’s illegal and that’s the end of it. We shouldn’t have to tolerate this on our doorsteps.

I am reading all the answers closely as I too have the same problem with my neighbour and when I went to bed last night my bedroom was absolutely reeking. I’m all for people doing what they want at home but not when it impacts a neighbour. I am fed up having to close my windows on hot summer nights. He is welcome to destroy his health but I don’t want mine affected. I really understand.

Thanks for all the supportive responses.
I'm not intending to shop him, as I wouldn't want the children to lose their remaining parent, if that might be a possible outcome, nor would I want to add further difficulties to his life.
He was actually supervised by my husband some years ago, and in fact recognised my husband first, rushed up to him to shake his hand and ask if Mr GrowingOld remembered him. My husband always seemed to have the respect of the people he supervised, and that seems to be the case here.
I also used to supervise a service user who was on 10-12 spliffs a day so it is possible for use at that level though that particular person was so laid back they were almost horizontal....and somewhat out of touch with reality.
Perhaps once his mum has come into the picture to help, I'll stick my head round the door and ask for her view on what we can do to be helpful, as that might be better coming from her to him.
In the meantime, as we are on quite good casual chatting terms, I think we will go with a casual "hey Joe (not his real name), when you're smoking that stinky stuff, would it be possible to do that a bit further away, as it's making Himself feel rough".

Ask him to move to the bottom of the garden to smoke, or to go into his shed if he has one - talk to him! If he knows it is offensive to you I would imagine he'll happily comply. I know it's illegal but please, you are not forced to call the police on him, especially as you know his circumstances! He sounds like he's doing his best and at least smoking a joint will keep him calm. Better that than being a drunk.

Stella14

Ask him to smoke it away from your house. Tell him it makes your husband feel ill. For heaven’s sake, don’t report it to the Police. He has enough on his plate and it’s nowhere near as much of a problem as legal drugs!

Me too lol ?

In the privacy of his own home I think he is ok to smoke dope. I was amazed recently when my neighbour shoved his registered cannibas user card at me when I complained although I don't think it means he can grow his own!!

Right now you are on reasonably good terms with this neighbour, so mention calmly to him that your husband is unfortunately allergic to cannabis smoke and detests the smell of it as well. Suggest your neighbour smokes at the other side of his house to your place.

You could warn him too that you worry lest any other neighbour reports him for smoking it, as since 2009 all recreational use of cannabis is illegal in the UK. After all it only needs one of his children to mention it at school for the matter to be reported, as school teachers are obliged to report anything a child lets slip about their home life that is illegal.

A warning of this kind cannot be construed by your neighbour as a threat.

I would at the same time make a definite offer of when the children could go out with you for the afternoon, or come in to your place, so he could have a couple of hours to himself.

Smoking weed around kids isn't ideal and today's varieties, ie skunk, tend to be much more potent than the pot of yesteryear.

On the other hand, before you shop him you need to think of the possible consequences. If he is arrested for possession, which might happen as he has evidently had dealings with the law in the past, what will happen to the children? Would they really be better off in care, or fostered by people that they don't know, than with their dad who smokes weed but otherwise sounds like he is doing a pretty good job of bringing them up?

If he isn't arrested but does (improbably) give up weed, what is likely to happen? People who abuse one substance as a form of stress relief tend to take to another, as the stress itself hasn't gone away. If he didn't smoke pot, it's quite likely that he would use alcohol instead. It's not illegal to drink alcohol, so there would be nothing you could do about it. It might even be more pleasant for you, as the smell of booze wouldn't drift into your garden. But what about the kids?

Weed tends to make people passive and disconnected. (Not ideal for his line of work, I agree.) Alcohol has the same effect on some people but, as we all know, for a lot of people it has the opposite. The children's home life could be very much worse if dad drank rather than smoked.

I am not saying that that would invariably happen. Just that it very often does, when people are self-medicating... and that's often the reason for substance abuse in the first place.

i would have a polite word with him explaining the smell comes in your house and is effecting your husbands health he sounds a nice neighbour so he should understand,

Ask him to smoke it away from your house. Tell him it makes your husband feel ill. For heaven’s sake, don’t report it to the Police. He has enough on his plate and it’s nowhere near as much of a problem as legal drugs!

Just ask him politely to go to end of garden then when no one is looking you can share his spliff. ! I would !

You are doing lots to support and it sounds like you have been a good neighbour. I work in the NHS in a safeguarding children role (children in care).
There’s is help available for families who are struggling, they wouldn’t automatically be taken into care unless they were in imminent danger. However, he clearly needs support and if he is willing to accept it and change some of his behaviours, there is no reason why things shouldn’t work out for the family. I would speak to him again about this. You can always phone social services to discuss this issue in principle before you speak to him.
Good luck

Garlicky cabbage, I'd say.

I think you should feel sorry for him. He's bringing up 3 children on his own (not many men would do that). I'd just close my windows and give him a break. Many people smoke cannabis.