My husband and his low mood

Betty Low mood is very had to deal with, it seems to be catching, however upbeat one tries to be. You have my sympathy.

Hard not had

He needs to see a doctor. Does your health authority do 'MOTs' for the over sixties? We simply go to the GP and have our blood pressure taken, blood tests done and a quick chat about how we are. 10 mins maximum but let's you bring up things that you might not want to bother the doctor about if you weren't already there plus you know if you blood pressure, kidneys, liver, sugar etc. are OK. If they do, it would be a good way of getting him to see a GP.

Did he suffer from low moods before he retired? I've read a lot of men particularly start getting depressed in retirement if they don't have anything positive to do. Just a thought

Part of the issue is that I can’t get him to see a doctor, dentist or optician- it’s illogical. He reckons he will do it in his own time but it’s been over 18 months.
He does tend to have a low mood but it doesn’t usually last long. This time has been too long

My DH developed issues prior to retirement.I eventually talked him into seeing GP who prescribed medication and
counselling.
He struggled with the side effects of meds, then actually retired, something he was looking forward to and we had plans to travel.
He was reluctant to do or go anywhere,then Covid arrived and as I was CEV and shielding it was his idea of heaven.
Move on 2+yrs and we do nothing as a couple.The most he will consider is a coffee if out fóod shopping.Cannot recall last time had a meal out or any social occasion.I have no one near to socialise with and can feel myself becoming isolated and depressed.I do love my DH but am struggling in a relationship so lacking in effection or interest.He is happy living a loner life with plenty of loner interests within the home.

Have you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? My husband has low moods, times when he won’t join in or go out. I used to try to cajole him but it never worked. He would come out and spoil things. Now I take the advice of that book.
Basically when a man ‘goes into his cave’ you don’t stand outside trying to get him to come out, you go off and do your own thing and enjoy life.

That is how I am beginning to feel but I want the relationship and plans in life we once had.
I do love him but time and life is moving on and I do not feel part of it.
Maybe reading the book will show me the way to a life I need,but on my own.

Stubborn drivers who refuse to see the optician regularly make me cross. They would be the first to complain about drunk or drugged drivers. If older people have to take driving tests it might be a good thing. Also avoiding medical needs is dangerous. Just one of my pet hates.

My once fun loving DH has changed and dwells on minor illness and blows things out of proportion. I have noticed this for a while now even friends have commented saying he is turning into a misery.
My dh is stubborn and will not listen to reason. I take myself out for a walk with the dog or retail therapy rather than have another pointless row.

Betty , there are several lifestyle changes you may be able to work for him.

Get him to drink enough water. He may like fizzy drinks even soda water.

Get him to eat enough vitamin rich food. How is he for vitamin B intake?

Try to get his living space ventilated.

I'm very wary of people getting dogs for selfish reasons but a dog's affection can be very heartening.

My husband stubbornly refused to go to the doctor. As a result his cancer was too far advanced for anything to be done about it and he died 10 months after diagnosis.

Esspee

Betty25 my other half is very similar to yours by the sound of things. Also we are both retired. Diagnosed almost a year ago now with heart failure he has found it very hard to come to terms with the huge change in his capabilities. He used to golf and cycle and now can only golf a little on occasions. He also has other chronic health issues and is on anti depressants.
I try very hard to be supportive but feel he resents the fact that I am able to do things. He procrastinates about anything health related and I just bite my tongue now when he complains of his issues. There was only so long I was prepared to bang my head off that brick wall.
I'm there when he needs and asks for help but in the meantime I get on with my own life, keeping up with family and friends. my craft groups and voluntary work.
Your life has to go on.

You have my sympathies, Betty25. My husband has a lot of health issues, but to be fair, he is pretty good at keeping on top of most of them. But he is often a bit of a misery, and on holiday he was very restricted in what he could do, including loading and unloading the car, so it is no joke.
You just have to try to develop your own interests, get out and about by yourself, and make the most of the good times.