Splitting after 34 years - my decision but not celebrating

H is 66 I am 60 - I feel awful that I waited so long, being a carer for our daughter (still am) kept me here an extra 5+ years. I feel this is a tragic event - that we should be ashamed of ourselves for not sorting it out years ago (although H blames me entirely!) I think even if you are the instigator there is still a lot of grief and fear for the future, and I hate to see H so distraught and also frightened (he has no other family). I feel that I should be able to say this - its not something to celebrate.

However, I have a small group of lovely friends some of whom are very vocal about how I should be so happy now and wanting to paint him as the villain. Well, I suppose that's how I have painted him, but I think the time for recriminations is over now. We've reached the end - I read somewhere that splitting up at this time of life simply replaces one type of unhappiness with another. I don't feel this is a triumph, just maybe a necessary evil.

I've read accounts on here with most posters saying yes it was ok even at this age, you'll be glad you did it in the end but a few have predicted misery and loneliness. Or maybe just something in between - not exactly sailing off into a beautiful sunset. So I'm feeling I've lost some support from friends who helped me get to this stage and now can't see why I'm not planning a party! My young adult children knew this was coming and see it as necessary too, but again they don't feel its been a great experience, rather something that they must come to terms with and we have a long way to go with selling up etc yet so by now means out of the woods, having to find other housing etc - feels quite scary for us both.

What do other Gransnetters think?