Would you tell your married kids everything about your finances ?

I would not tell my ACs all about my finances. Before my own ACs were drawn in by both their partners my ACs were meticulous about paying back any borrowed many. Since they got heavily involved with others they seem to think they are entitled to borrow and not pay back. They also tell their partners all sorts of things concerning me that I do not think their partners have any need or right to know. Both AC have been in horrendous debt despite both working very long hours and earning a good income.
One AC keeps telling people how much money I have. Luckily AC's estimation of my money is wrong! If the truth was known they would likely tell their partners and I would be under so much more pressure for money and goods etc.
I have no options but to keep my financial state a secret and I will have to direct money away from my own AC in my Will because I am not financing the layabouts they have chosen to keep.

I wouldn't hesitate......I trust my daughter and my son in law to take care of us as we have done our best to help them in the past..

Just to add, he also jotted down any details of financial ‘gifts’ he made for the purposes of tax etc.

It has to be pointed out that a gift is just that, it is not a loan to be repaid. Once a gift is made, then there cannot be an expectation of a return.

So parting with money you have as savings, reserve or sensible emergency fund is not sensible.

Only gift money that you can afford not to need or want to see again.

In my family we have always discussed our financial situation quite frankly between adults.

Not to the extend of viewing each others bank statements, but certainly to the extend of knowing whether parents, children, siblings or whoever were living comfortably or in debt.

My parents outlined their intentions regarding their wills to my sister and myself when they retired and we were both young adults. As they had a joint will, I asked my father when he after my mother's death said he would need to make a new will, that he either told us both the provisions or told neither of us, as I felt it was unfair if he only discussed his intentions with one of us. He agreed and subsequently only mentioned that he had made a new will and who his solicitor and executor was.

A power of attorney for the eventuality that we should become incapacitated is, obviously, a matter of trust. Again there, I asked my father to join my sister and myself in one, as I said truthfully that my sister would neither cheat me, nor accuse me of cheating her, but I did not want if he had chosen to give me the POA that her children and their spouses could look askance at the arrangement.

We avoided that pitfall, but when my sister died my suspicions regarding her children and their spouses proofed wll-justified.

If you either do not have children, or know that your children will be unable to agree whatever you have stipulated, I think you would be well advised to give a POA to some other responsible person, but this is a matter where you need legal advice.

My Grandfather kept a simple journal. All bank account details written down, any financial products bought & sold/matured.

This was handed to his solicitor when he died. It saved loads of time & effort when it came to settling his affairs.

Why would you not share this information with your adult children? Our son is in the banking industry and has been our investment broker for many years so there’s no hiding this information from him! In fact he realizes it’s a benefit to him to be careful in the way he manages our funds because it will eventually benefit him and our daughter.

If you were unwell or had been diagnosed with a health condition, would you with hold this information from your adult children and keep it to yourself? I’m sure you wouldn’t! It’s exactly the same scenario really……especially as we age.

In a word 'yes'. My mother did the same before she died. Made sorting out her estate much easier. I just hope and pray my children will survive me.

My husband keeps a file of all our assets and liabilities which he updates monthly. It will be there when something happens to us.

My SIL saw my FIL's Will and took him out his care home to change it, without telling my DH, who was named in it as the executor. Where there is a Will there is a way........

My late DH kept a list of all passwords and accounts etc which has been invaluable but even so have had problems when passwords have changed and the list has not been updated. Even today I've found that I don't know my Outlook password and this is not on the list, not computer savvy so have to wait and ask DS for help. Have been amazed at simple things like this that I didn't know.

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

Our two have joint P of A. We haven’t told them in detail about our finances but I’m sure they have a fair idea.

We have told them where to find our wills and other necessary info. in case we both end up dead in e.g. a road accident.

Yes and the unmarried one if she wanted to know. We have complete financial transparency in this family. The two older ones have our PoA - not the third because she lives a travelling life and it might be difficult to get hold of her at any point.

Thank you MOnica. That link is very useful. I have saved it to my ‘notes’.

My kids only get told what they need to know it’s only there business when I’m gone Do your kids tell you about their assets I very much doubt it. I don’t need to know. I have everything in place and paperwork etc in a fireproof etc box. They both know what it looks like and when time comes I’m sure they will be fine.

Age UK have a very useful Fact Sheet, with links to other places to look for help as well. It deals with all aspects of end of life considerations .
www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukig51_thinking_about_end_of_life_inf.pdf

No but they know exactly what is specified in our will. They know where our paperwork is if something should happen to us.

My middle son works in finance and I have told him where the papers and passwords are kept. He never listens and I'm sure he won't remember where to look. My sil
has signed a few docs for me and is more on the ball so I think between the 2 of them they will cope.
My only worry is that son keeps telling me I should be making regular gifts but I don't want to leave myself short in case I need to pay for any ops now that the Nhs is in crisis.

I don’t but my Partner OH does, they know exactly what is in his will so nothing is hidden. He has done this because his father remarried and there was a lot of family hostility over the inheritance uncertainty.

As a result the whole family are open and friendly and have accepted me, so I’m quite lucky not having to cope with unfriendly family.

Curious - don't all people keep records of assets, liabilities?

I have re-accomplished the same diary of assets every Jan2 - since the year we married. My children know desk drawer location of my finance diary, always have known.

Our DD has POA (welfare and financial). Our wills are made. Both children know what's in it. No surprises.

Simply leave details of where everything is (I suggest getting it out every year for a look just in case you have forgotten anything done in the previous year) together with your will or a copy of it (if for example a solicitor has it) and make sure family knows where the documents are kept.

We are in our late 70s, our daughters, GC, and GGC have knowledge of our assets, not day to day balances. Doesn't matter to us if they are married, knowledge is good.

They know our solicitor and what our wills direct.

I'd not mind if they wanted more current details, but it's all boring. I doubt they care until our health changes - or we have medical and care needs.

Germanshepherdsmum

Have a file with details of your bank accounts, pensions and investments which will give your executors all they need to know when you die. They don’t need to know now, and as has been said things will change over the years.

I have a fireproof box which has all my important documents in, including a copy of all my savings accounts and investments, together with contact details for my financial adviser. My children know where I keep this box.

But I have not given them exact details of how much money I have, that can wait until I pop my clogs!

We’re trying to follow GSM’s advice.

We’ve just moved house so it’s a good time to do this. We’ve managed to close redundant accounts with now-non-existent building societies etc and gather other things in one place. We do need to put a copy of our wills into it and our POA’s.

Our dd has POA. We trust her implicitly and our four dc are pretty close so I have no fears there. It was really the only way as one dc lives in the US and two in England, so this was the most practical solution.