Would you tell your married kids everything about your finances ?

Apart from knowing that we’re okay financially and us knowing that they are, none of us need to know more really.

In the event that we fall off our perches or become incapacitated, I have a spreadsheet with details of absolutely everything, including policy numbers and contact details. They all have the password. But I think I”ll just send them it again, just in case….

No, not their concern.

I wouldn't discuss my finances with anyone , however my children know the contents of my will and have copies of it.
My daughter who I trust implicitly has POA for both financial and health but only if I am at a stage where I am unable to make decisions on such myself.
Simple ?

At my age my children have POA and I never worry about it. Son I live with is the executor of my will and my money and possessions are simply shared by them all when I die. I joke about it with them as given the state of the economy the paper value of my assets has suffered and they had better keep me alive until prices recover. I think such joking may be an Australian black humour sort of thing. If any of my children were in financial difficulty I would help them. Now I am an aging widow I do not expect to travel and I never buy new clothes. So my needs are simple and I spend more on my dogs vetting and grooming than I do on myself and I am content with my financial affairs. I am neither rich nor poor, That is good enough for me.

To kircubbin2000 whose son wants her to make more gifts … you can have the same tax avoiding effect by spending more money on yourself .. cars, holidays and fun!

Also, for the gift thing to matter I believe you’d have to be leaving around £300,000 more than the value of your house if the house Is going to your children

Not the total.
Keep a notebook with up-to-date info about assets, and location (e.g. bonds, jewelry).
My husband and his brother were coexecutors. It was awful. If they don't agree, who decides?
Don't name someone who you don't trust to be fair and honest in dealing with siblings.
Can complete paperwork to add the POA person to your bank account and 1. Not tell them before needed (in the notebook) or don't turn the form into the bank in advance (leave it in the Notebook). Tell them where the notebook is. It also can help your spouse.

We made both DC POA when they were 18 / 20 (and each other).
DH taught them both financial management and they know what we have and we know what they have.

A few years ago, one rainy morning, my DH & I made a word doc "in case of emergency" which we sent to our 2 ACs by email.
It prompted us to check that the deeds of our house were still safely lodged with our solicitors who had recently merged with another law practice.
Shockingly, we found that they didn't have the deeds because they had been retained by our old Building Society who mistakenly thought that
we still owed them £280,000 after the sale of our last house!.
It took several (worrying) months to sort this Huge Error out but imagine if we'd both 'fallen off our perches' together and our ACs had genuinely thought that we did still owe the money!
In the email we stated in plain English what our financial situation was, life insurance policies, any outstanding loans and code to our home safe.
I recommend that everyone does this (if they trust their nearest and dearest).

I have a similar book called “Sorry For Your Loss: It’s Me.” Despite the somewhat flippant title, it is really useful in terms of having multiple sections in which to record your information and wishes - including details regarding your pets, etc. Like everything else in the universe it’s available on Amazon.

We’ve got a wall safe. Important stuff all in there, when it’s needed.

My kids have LPA (POA) with regards to us.

All sorted.?

I don't see the problem of my children knowing about our finances. Everything we have left when our days are over will be there's anyway....

Our dd has poa and all details of my finances as I am tending to lose track of them. She has poa only for dh. If she knows it all it makes things easier for her and other dcs (who.are fully informed and in agreement)in the end.

My mum disclosed all financial information and gave me access to all accounts, including a safe deposit box at the bank, years before she and my dad passed. She was vigilant about updating the information yearly. This was invaluable when she and my day began to fail. I have done the same with my DS. Perhaps the difference is that I am an only child as is my DS. So no opportunity to squabble with anyone.

I have also left my important PIN numbers and passwords with my will so they can access important stuff online.

Good idea Germanshepherdsmum

My children have some idea but dont know everything...

I’ve told my youngest son there’s a file with everything he needs to sort stuff out. The oldest knows reasonable amount but three sons don’t know all of our finances as we don’t know them yet. We are still working and haven’t received pensions yet. If and when the time comes I may have a word or may nit just as the occasion arises some things are private.

Have a clear will.name names, don't use terms like "favourite" youngest etc things changed poa? Set out your preference that all have to be made aware of decisions made and funding is also to be open and clear so no single person can dip into the pot!. otherwise? Spend the bloody lot, we are!!!!

My ex died recently, quite suddenly and although he left a simple will there were no details in a specific folder re bank accounts, belongings etc and no mention anywhere re what he would like for a funeral, ashes etc. He wasn’t close to my 3 children contact wise and didn’t live near, nearly a hundred miles from the closest and 200 miles from the other two. Trying to sort a funeral etc proved amazingly stressful for everyone as they all had different views on what should happen. I have promised to leave plenty of info re where my funeral should be, favourite music, personal wishes etc. I’m sure things will change as time goes on but thought I’d update all my info yearly around my birthday. Fingers crossed this will save lots of problems for my children in the future. My next job is to sort my LPA.

In a nutshell ..... no..
None of their business.... yet.

I'm ashamed to admit that sitting on a shelf is a 'Lifebook' that I obtained from Age UK some years ago.

In it you are prompted to write all the information that might be needed if you are incapacitated or worse.

You can now download it from
www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

When my husband passed away in 2021, once I had all the finances sorted, I changed my will. My 3 children and 6 grandchildren know what my will says but not the value. I'm not intending to leave anything intentionally but I do want to try and live a normal life and enjoy the money we worked hard for 50 years to gather. The family will get the house no matter what.

I keep meaning to update our wills, not that it will be much different from the one we made 10 years ago. Our DD's know we are not well off, (comfortable is the word). They can easily find the value of the house, but no we have not discussed it with them.

4allweknow

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

My DH & I held POA for my mother in law. It meant he could deal with things like the care home, frequent hospital visits and arranging carers but I was able to access her accounts and monitor the assets - just as well as she had over £40,000 in the Post Office as she didn't use her state pension. He worked (and stayed) in the city she lived and I was working full time in our home city

I thought it strange at first to find my in-laws kept what they called “the out file “. It had their wills and financial information in, Their Power of Attorney docs. instructions for their funeral and a list of people to notify along with contact details, even a draft of an obituary along with the newspapers it was to appear in!
It was invaluable when they died- their wishes were clear and easy to find. So many points of conflict avoided at a stressful time . We have our own “out files”, checked and updated annually. Our AC’s have started one as well, even though they are only in their 30’s.
With everything in one place, the discussion of exactly what you have becomes irrelevant, although they do have a rough idea of what’s there (and what’s not)

4allweknow

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

You can set them up how you choose. Our two children both have POA, but either of them can sign things off. We chose to do it that way, although you can set it so they both need to do it.

Unless they live next door to one another, and you can be sure that this will continue, however, it's probably not the best idea. Part of the point of financial POA is so that if, say we were both abroad and needed money to pay medical bills, get a flight home, or get out of jail (!!) they can access it. In those circumstances we'd want action taken as close to immediately as possible, not to have to wait until one could get to the other so they could both sign a document.