Misery Guts

I'd give him a swrious telling off in your shoes, daftbags. How nasty to make things worse for you by being a miserable sod and refusing to do anything about it.

daftbags you could start by telling him none of the tests he's had have shown there's anything wrong him, other than he's getting older and aren't we all, and the pain killers he's been prescribed will only be effective if he takes them.

Could you also say that as he seems to dislike taking you to your hospital appointments, this is making them even more unpleasant so in future you'll get a taxi.

I know someone like this, some people cannot cope with the aging process.

Absolutely miserable to live with someone like this. Have you told him how you feel? If he will not try to change his attitude then you will have to try to spend as little time with him as possible. Surround yourself with positive people or he will bring you down to his miserable level.

Well he's depressed, isn't he? Show some compassion girls.
He's younger than me and maybe he hasn't come to terms with the fact that his future life is shorter than the life he's lived. I can remember the day I realised that, but being a happy person I determined to pack as much into what was left as I could.
He is obviously not a naturally cheerful soul, and watching you go to all these a[appointments, has thrown him suddenly and he's not coping well.
If possible (it would be ruinously expensive for me because of where we live) I would do as Smileless suggests and book a taxi for your next appointment. You can get hospital transport but it tends to pick you up hours before your appointment time and collect you from the hospital hours after your appointment has finished. I think one and a half hours is the longest you may be asked to wait. It would waste a lot of time for you.
A phone call to his GP sounds like the next step. He will be cross, but necessary I feel.

Good suggestions.
I agree that he's due a stern talking to.
And you should do all you can to avoid being infected by his misery.

Yes you need to have a stiff talk with him telling him his tests showed he was the clear for everything whilst yours didn’t. Anaemia will make you feel bloody awful, I have it as well and I am also going through some horrible tests before they will give me a transfusion, so I know exactly how you feel about his miserable attitude. Good suggestion about a taxi and it he doesn’t want food well cook for yourself making a meal that you will enjoy. Just treat him with indifference and look after yourself

Your Dh does sound depressed, Daftbag. I’d approach it not by castigating him for his moaning but framing it around how it’s affecting both of you.

So instead of telling him he’s a misery guts, say something like ‘I can see that you’re not happy. It makes me sad and unhappy to see you like this, what can we do together change things?’

Good luck.

My husband take much medication, has mobility issues, COPD and advised to stop smoking (doesn’t want to stop) and suffers anxiety. Basically he has reasonable health and I do everything in the house and garden. Luckily I have good health so far but I don’t know how we would carry on if I fell ill. I feel he could make some effort but assumes I am going to carry on regardless. He has no interests and is self absorbed. I realise I need to have my own interests as I will be just sitting at home 24/7.

It sounds ever so familiar and I know quite a few people with the same mindset. I think it is an ageism problem like attention seeking a little issue gets too much consideration.
Could you get out more socialise just meet other people even a nice stroll a trip to the library. Your DH sounds as if he may not alter his ways now and be past caring. It’s become a habit one that maybe hard to change.
If you do more for yourself and get out or occupied you maybe able to tolerate his negative behaviour a bit easier.

If there is nothing wrong with him I think I would just let him get on with it. Has he always been miserable and melancholic? My husband is a glass empty person, I'm half full !! I have my friends who keep me sane and I make sure that I have a modest social life on my own. We still do lots together but it doesn't take much to turn him into Victor Meldrew. I just leave him to it and accept that a lot of men get very grumpy as they get older. You should hear my friends at the coffee group.