I like my own space…

I like my own space sometimes too, I retired three years before my husband and found being together 24/7 a little bit tough, I encouraged him to join the ramblers which he loves.
He goes twice a week, sometimes three he’s gone all day and I love it, even though I love him dearly I like having a bit of me time too and the exercise is good for him

I went on a similar seminar when I retired and dh actually retired before me. His job was far more stressful than mine and I welcomed him being able to retire and finally relax. Of course there is a period of adjustment needed but suggesting hobbies and man-sheds so the woman can have the house to themselves, is very selfish and as I say sounds like Hyacinth Bucket. It is the marital home not the wife's home.

I am another one who needs space and alone time. I'm happy on my own do9ing things. We did a similar thing to others in changing our spare bedrooms which are used only rarely to an office (him) and a boudoir for me (an office cum dressing room). I also go out more than my husband to golf, netball and shopping.

Because Paw was largely housebound latterly unless I took him out anywhere, I used to long for an empty - or make the most of the few hours on my own while he was having eg one of his regular blood transfusions.
I should have known.
Be careful what you wish for - now I have the house to myself 24/7! But that said, I am mostly perfectly happy in my own company plus the dog, who says very little!

notgran

Some of these comments sound like they have been posted by Hyacinth Bucket, in the TV series "Keeping up Appearances" Try to remember ladies, it is his home also and he has probably contributed more financially than you to obtain it. I seriously would be concerned about my relationship if you are worried about spending more time with him, when he finally retires. If it's any consolation he will probably die before you so you will have your own space back again. Harsh, I realise but true.

Surely you can understand there is a period of adjustment. Someone is in their own routine possibly for years and now it is all changed. I did a retirement seminar day with dh and there was a lot of talk about this adjustment for couples.
My dh started to " help" by reminding me to do things and by checking dinner to see if it was cooked yet and other very annoying habits. Luckily he fell into his own routine pretty quickly which involved man catch ups with his mates over coffee which gave me space. So the adjustment only takes some short time and before long you will enjoy seeing him arrive back from his excursions.

Working from home during the pandemic helped us as I got used to him being around 24/7 but luckily we had an office each. In preparation for retirement I am encouraging him to buy a bigger greenhouse ;/)

My Mum complained she had "Twice the man and half the money" when my Dad retired!

notgran

Some of these comments sound like they have been posted by Hyacinth Bucket, in the TV series "Keeping up Appearances" Try to remember ladies, it is his home also and he has probably contributed more financially than you to obtain it. I seriously would be concerned about my relationship if you are worried about spending more time with him, when he finally retires. If it's any consolation he will probably die before you so you will have your own space back again. Harsh, I realise but true.

Wow, just wow! It's not often I'm rendered speechless by comments on here, but I have no words for this...

Some of these comments sound like they have been posted by Hyacinth Bucket, in the TV series "Keeping up Appearances" Try to remember ladies, it is his home also and he has probably contributed more financially than you to obtain it. I seriously would be concerned about my relationship if you are worried about spending more time with him, when he finally retires. If it's any consolation he will probably die before you so you will have your own space back again. Harsh, I realise but true.

I found some voluntary work for my ex to do when he retired, it was something I knew he would be really interested in and he ended up spending more time out of the home than he did when working.

When my DH retired he took himself off to a gardening course for 3 days a week and spent the rest of the time in the greenhouse or garden. Great. I had the house to myself.
I am on my own now so have all the time to myself.

I too love me time - we’re lucky enough to have large garden, garage, shed, summerhouse, man cave in Wales where MrPG can fritter away his time whilst I tend to do really important stuff in the sitting room, kitchen and conservatory ....ha ha?

Mi Casa here in Spain is smaller but I tend to use the patio whilst he wanders up to the roof terrace - I whistle him down for feeding and watering at regular intervals? ?

I can see why that's frustrating emmasnan. Fortunately that doesn't happen very often with Mr. S. but is very annoying when it does.

Glad it’s not just me…makes me feel very guilty though.

I am feeling exactly like this, no space just to be me.
He can seem to waste hours just sitting and looking at his phone and not be bothered to get up and do something

I'm trying hard to get used to it but although it sounds silly I find it hard to be motivated myself when he is so lethargic!

Oh god yes. I cannot cope without my own space. OH is already round for large parts of the day, but is talking about retiring next year. I will have to suggest he gets his own wee 'man cave' at the other end of the garden.

I now have my own study/needlework room. Before MrOops retired I had the whole house!

However, he deserves the rest and now he can enjoy his home as well.

Before he retired I encouraged my dh to take up some hobbies. it worked! Space fir us both.

DH has been retired 3 years and I still need time on my own away from him! He is very helpful and useful but I still sometimes feel acute irritation! We both have our own cars so can get away when needed.

Yes, definitely. We take it in turns to walk the dog so that is at least a couple of hours and then there is always the shed??

Me too. Due to lockdowns etc I have got used to having DH around all of the time but I do crave having the house to myself. I do need to be on my own sometimes, something that he doesn’t understand. I’ve never been a joined at the hip sort of person. And because I’m still being careful about catching covid I no longer take myself off for days out.

I LOVE my own space. We had our daughters bedrooms converted to offices and sitting/reading rooms. We each have a quiet office, and we each have a small sitting room on the afternoon sunny side.

Part of the build was wall beds in each of the 4 rooms. Our daughters, GC , GGC, my brother, friends still want to stay over and are always welcome.

I found it hard when Mr. S. first retired Poppyred especially when I was doing house work around him but you get used to it. Give it time and don't stop doing the things you were doing like meeting friends for lunch and/or coffee or any clubs you're a member of.

If he isn't doing so already, suggest some things he can do to get him out of the house and don't forget, he's probably finding it as difficult as you are.

Good luck.