Driving- does it affect your relationship?

he also has to drive us on holiday as I am not fast enough apparently. It would be much nicer if no pressure was put on any of us and we had breaks etc and no shouting.

I am a much calmer, patient driver and I find he is mouthy and aggressive and yes it causes conflict

Norah

I'm a less confident driver on the A1 or M11, can do, don't prefer.

I accept that and drive locally. My husband is an excellent driver, albeit a bit aggressive - I read a book and ignore.

This is me. My husband likes to drive and I like to be a passenger so it works well for both of us. It is nothing to do with control or patriarchy or being old fashioned. It is simply that we have different skills and strengths and it is best to work with it. I do drive locally and it is a good skill to have. When he had his cataract operations, it meant that l was able to take him. It would have been more difficult otherwise.

I do all the driving as Dh doesn`t drive,which suits me down to the ground.
He never comments on my driving as i will press the ejector seat button i have told him about.

I hate driving my husband and for many years I flatly refused to because of his incessant carrying on.
He then became a driving instructor and it was even worse!
A year ago he had to stop driving for health problems, I have only driven him a handful of times and it’s been ok but only because I made it very clear that if he started on me then I would stop the car and he could walk home (it’s working at the moment!)
He’s reapplying for his license at the moment and I dread him driving because like previous posts, he drives more forcefully than I do, brakes late etc- my foot is frequently almost going through the footwell!
I frantically knit socks on long journeys to distract myself!
I don’t know how it will go, I’m not a keen driver although I’m enjoying it more now I have a decent car. I would love to go to Scotland and Northumberland again but can’t face driving those distances; he wouldn’t bat an eyelid at doing it.
I know compromise is the answer……?

Life is so hard for such perfect drivers notgran

My husband used to tell me where to turn, a stop in 50 meters, watch out for car in 200 meters....

I told him I can drive thank you very much and his not so helpful observations make me distracted from driving

He dropped it

At the same time, he drives more aggressively than I do and does not leave enough distance with nearby cars

He thought it was just my perception till other people pointed it out to him - he is more careful now

I admit it is hard to be a passenger when you can drive too

My poor husband, he has such a great responsibility as he is the only driver on the road who knows the correct way to drive.

My bloke has a nicer car than me, and likes to drive it. But I hate being in the car with him now. He overtakes when it isn't safe, drives too fast, brakes too late, is frequently in the wrong lane or drifts over the line between lanes.

I'd like to say it's due to his age, but he was equally bad when he was younger, crashing every car he owned.

We have a car each; mine's a small manual runabout and DH's is a larger automatic. We can both drive both cars and we just take whichever one is suitable for the journey we're going on and the person who feels like driving, does.

We only fall out over the satnav; I don't like it and prefer to read maps and the road ahead, DH swears by it even though it's been somewhat erratic in computing the best routes for us!

M0nica

Cabbie I am not sure (keeping to the speed limits makes the road safe for everyone). I am not suggesting we shouldn't have speed limits, but my sister died when she was knocked off her bike by a lorry travelling at walking speed, my DD received a disabling ijury when all the traffic on the motorway was travelling within the speed limit. I have been involved in a multiple motorway shunt, again, speed was not a factor, and I have been driven into twice, in each case speed was not a factor. In fact on each occasion speeds involved were quite low.

I have come to the conclusion that the main cause of accidents, is human error, mainly, drivers failing to see one element in complicated traffic situations.

This is so, particularly for accidents in towns and cities I am sure.What sadness for your family Monica.

My husband is generally a good driver but is a little too laid back in his attitude to suit me and perhaps does not see dangers ahead as well as I do.We only have the one car, which we share regularly, and which is fine as we have good local transport anyway.y

We each have our own cars, but when we are together I generally drive. I don’t like being driven and only felt safe with one other person and that was my late father. I did all the driving on our recent holiday.

We are a two car family but it’s neither his nor hers but I do usually drive the smaller car as it’s easy to park. We use to share the driving with no problems and still do but only on long journeys and not just days outs due to my tiredness. To be honest if I was in your position I would become assertive, I am going to drive, so which car shall we go in.

I do about 1/3 of the driving whichever car we have, I hardly drink, he likes to have a couple of beers, no more. He will comment, if I drive too close, I don’t comment even though he drives too fast, but he is safe and does slow in built up areas.

Can I bang the drum for being the passenger to put my foot on the imaginary brake?? {grin} We both drive but my husband has a tendency to leave it to the last second when braking. His road sense and awareness as a former motorcyclist is second to none but he has a habit of thinking that a car will behave like a bike!!
I tend to anticipate events such as approaching a junction and drive accordingly but now due to his discomfort when driving for long periods - it now falls to me although he will take turn if needed.

Cabbie I am not sure (keeping to the speed limits makes the road safe for everyone). I am not suggesting we shouldn't have speed limits, but my sister died when she was knocked off her bike by a lorry travelling at walking speed, my DD received a disabling ijury when all the traffic on the motorway was travelling within the speed limit. I have been involved in a multiple motorway shunt, again, speed was not a factor, and I have been driven into twice, in each case speed was not a factor. In fact on each occasion speeds involved were quite low.

I have come to the conclusion that the main cause of accidents, is human error, mainly, drivers failing to see one element in complicated traffic situations.

We have two cars, mine being the smaller. I think I am a reasonable safe driver no complaints from friends and I often drive Grandchildren around. Can ‘t say I enjoy driving but it is my freedom.. DH drives when we go out together because I refuse to drive when he is in the car. He is not nervous but will inform me about speed limits, when I should pull out, which way I should go and how I should avoid potholes etc. He would also fiddle with heating and radio controls.
The last time I drove with him in the car I’d had enough and stopped the car , told him to drive and have never driven him since.

What about speeding? DH is very law-abiding in everything apart from keeping to speed limits. He has gizmos which warn him of cameras so it is obvious that he does not want to get caught, but if there are no cameras around he ignores speed limits, 80 on motorways, 55 instead of 50, 34 instead of 30. Nothing outrageous. He says he drives according to road conditions, which is true, but keeping to speed limits makes the roads safer for everyone, surely.

I must be an odd one out I like being driven, don't want to drive DH's car with all the latest technology and costs an arm and a leg if you scratch it. I like my own.
If I do drive him he always appreciates it.
He makes comments about other things but is no backseat driver.

No strife with us although I do occasionally comment on DH's driving. He gets too near the white line, I get told off for driving in the gutter! I'm quite comfortable with his driving and he seems to be with mine.

DH does most of the driving although I can, and do, drive both vehicles. When we're out together, especially on a long journey, he usually drives and I navigate ('cos I'm better at that than he is!).

I started a similar thread some time ago about how I'm a nervous passenger and my OH won't take this into consideration. I didn't get much sympathy.
In my opinion even if the driver is skilful, they need to consider what the other person needs, within reason of course. It's what you do if you care about someone.
My OH didn't like me driving in the outside lane of the dual carriageway, so I don't. But he does.
I do most of the driving now. I've no intention of letting him drive me if he isn't going to be considerate.
When we do the long journey to the caravan we drive in separate cars.

I suppose the answer to your question is a definite yes!

Mine was the bigger newer car, DH and I shared the driving both happy with the other driving.

I drive all our cars and we share driving on long journeys. DH enjoys driving, I do not dislike driving but I am quite happy to be driven. I will, as necessary, drive on all kinds of roads and in all kinds of conditions, although as we both get older our night vision is less good.

Neither of us criticise the others driving and, on long journeys, DH often falls a sleep when I am driving

Generally who ever owns the car does the driving for shorter journeys.

Yes, DH and I have very different driving positions , but adjusting seating positions only takes a minute or two.

In fact driving is not, and never has been, a bone of contention between us.

We are different in that my car has always been the bigger one. Dh was of the opinion that it's daft for tge bigger flasher car to be zipping idle all day while I was trying to stuff 5 children into a smaller, second car.

Nowadays, the cars are interchangeable and we each drive which ever is more convenient for whatever we are doing that day.

I still prefer the big car though and will happily share driving with him. He is happy to be driven by me.

my mum's late husband would always want to drive although they both had a car, she finally put a stop to it by telling him she would meet him wherever they were going, he got fed up driving on his own and would never use a sat nav so was always late because he could not find the place, the problem was solved when she said, if i drive you can have a pint with your meal, after that she drove all the time when they both went out together, he still kept his car for going to the shops.