Stuck in relationship with distant man

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If he’s cold now what makes you think he will look after you when you are ill and need tlc?

ExDancer

I am married to a cold insensitive man - don't do it.

Can you end it and get away?

LaCrepescule

I just wanted to update you lovely GNers. It took me a couple of goes but I’m rid of him; I saw him tonight and wanted to give him a second chance (I know that’s pathetic) but he behaved SO badly. The evening ended up with him throwing my belongings all over the stairs and I’m glad he did it because I know if he’s capable of that, he’s capable of anything 😔 I’ve blocked him so I need to stay strong. Sad because our dogs got on so well but hopefully my boy can make new friends. I felt scared of him and now I know why.

So proud of you!
Has he tried to contact you since?
How are you doing?

I am married to a cold insensitive man - don't do it.

Shinamae

Been without a relationship now for over 30 years and I’m absolutely fine. I do date occasionally but really can’t even be bothered with that now…🤓

Mind you being asexual probably helps….

Been without a relationship now for over 30 years and I’m absolutely fine. I do date occasionally but really can’t even be bothered with that now…🤓

It's a no brainer. What are you playing at, girlfriend! Run for the hills. End it. There is so much in your post that says this is not the relationship for you. End it and then have a ball looking after yourself and your dog. You do not have cancer so stop with the funeral planning for your cancer death. Stop it! You want to be looked after? Then look after you! At the moment you have written a great self- description of your situation and you aren't painting a great picture. So get rid of the dead weight and start creating the most fabulous life for yourself. He is horrible by the way. But you know that. Run for the hills.

Reported

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Funny thing is, now that I’m single again, I don’t really feel alone and can fully appreciate family, friends , work etc.

That's BRILLIANT to hear LaCrepescule!

It’s a small town Poppy but I’ll do my best!

Make sure you choose a new route for your dog-walking. Last thing you need is him trying to worm his way into your good books again.

Stay strong!

That’s brilliant Davida 😊 I feel I’m not missing him at all (I’m in fact grateful that I’ll no longer have to deal with his moods) but it was the idea that I was in a couple and no longer alone. Funny thing is, now that I’m single again, I don’t really feel alone and can fully appreciate family, friends , work etc.

In the words of the song "Shut up & Drive", sung by Chely Wright; "you'll only miss the man, that you wanted him to be...."

You've made the right decision...and will have thoughts of 'what if', we can all feel like that at times but remember - it's far better to be alone for the right reasons than be with somebody for the wrong ones.

So your “must have” list when you are ready, should be grown up woman seeks grown up man who also likes dogs. 🙂

Well done on your lucky escape! Don't look back!

Well done! You have a right to live your life free from fear. Don’t look back. Have you heard of the Freedom Programme? You may wish to Google it if not. I did it via Zoom some months ago (no need to have your video on if you don’t wish to show your face). Completely safe space, led by a couple of very well-trained women. No one judges anyone else. For me, it was an eye opener.

You know you have made the right decision.

Thank you for your lovely wise words x

Hi, yes I think he’s done you an enormous favour, although granted, in your quieter moments I suspect you’ll be feeling very real regret this man wasn’t all you hoped he’d be. Never doubt tho, that you’ve done the right thing.

Thank you denbylover; it feels hard to let go of a dream of being with someone again in my later years but this man was clearly a danger to me. Only glad he showed me tonight.

Well done you, best decision you’ve probably ever made. Riled up next time it might have been you he’d thrown down the stairs!
Stay strong, he’s shown you what he’s capable of. All your tomorrow’s are going to be brighter without him in them. Best wishes.