Adoption, and finding your birth family

silverlining48

Could it be that your daughter does not even know she is adopted Shina? A friend adopted two unrelated girls, one traced her birth family and the other never has felt the need.
Those were hard times for young women who found themselves pregnant. Abortion had been illegal til the late 60s and without family support there was little or no help fir them to keep their babies. You were between a rock and a hard place and did the best you could under difficult circumstances.

Thank you, but at the Home, they did say that she would be told she was adopted and I was also told that she was adopted by two teachers who already had an adopted son..
But like I say she had no choice in being adopted. She should have a choice now whether she contacts her birth mother or not, and that’s all I am her birth mother,her parents are the people who brought her up…

Could it be that your daughter does not even know she is adopted Shina? A friend adopted two unrelated girls, one traced her birth family and the other never has felt the need.
Those were hard times for young women who found themselves pregnant. Abortion had been illegal til the late 60s and without family support there was little or no help fir them to keep their babies. You were between a rock and a hard place and did the best you could under difficult circumstances.

I gave my baby up for adoption in March 1972 (there was some sort of delay with the process and I had to keep my baby until she was 10 weeks old, this was in an unmarried mothers home)
I did lodge my details with an association for adoptees, who wanted to trace their birthmothers, I’ve never heard anything but that is entirely her choice,she had no choice of being adopted and if she does not want to trace me l totally respect that..although it does sadden me..

My DH was adopted and wouldn't look for his birth parents while his adopted parents were still alive. It was while we watched Long Lost Family that I eventually persuaded him to look. In 2016 I started the process and in 2017 we found his birth family and he has now 1 half brother and 4 half sisters. There are also many cousins and 2 aunties. Sadly his mum died in 1995. My DH is white british but his mum married in Ghanaian and so his brother and sisters are all mixed race. They are brilliant and have all welcomed us with open arms. They didn't know for sure who his father was but we found him through a DNA test on Ancestry. He died several years ago but went on to marry and so my DH has 3 other half brothers. We haven't made contact although we know who they are just in case they don't know about my DH.

This is such an emotional topic, for both the adopted children and the mothers that gave them up.

I think many children grow up feeling a bit lost, and urge for that maternal connection, even though they may have had a wonderful adoptive family.

Many young mothers have had to make a hard choice to give up a child; some choose to keep the memory in the past, and some urge to find their long lost baby. Every circumstance is different.

I know one woman my age that gave up her first baby, but then went on to have two more with the same man. I didn't find out from her, but from one of her siblings. I'm positive that her grown children have no idea, and I believe she has just put it in her past and would be very upset if this came to light. It's not up to me to decide if she is right or wrong, and I do not judge since I have no idea what I would do in that situation.

My husband and his birth mother were the first two people to reunited under the law in 2005 that allowed birth parents to find their children.
It was a rollercoaster!
Fact is stranger than fiction and believe me you couldn’t write the story!

Yes I found my birth mother but it in no way resembled an episode of Long Lost Family.
I'm glad it worked out for you Jennyluck as it does for many people but not everyone.

I have a sister who was adopted at birth.

I know my mother left her details to be forwarded to her but she never heard from her.

I found out as a teen and, it was quite a shock, especially because I always used to pretend I had an older sister.

I have never left my details to be passed on I don't know why, I think because she hasn't reached out to my mother after years she was hopefully living a happy and stable life. Perhaps because my mother's side of the family are not very nice and sometimes I think it's for the best.

I truly hope she is happy, I can never know if she is even living

Nannylovesshopping, that’s heartbreaking, I think I’d feel exactly the same. I’m glad your own children have healed your soul.
I was lucky to have a happy childhood, but hated being an only child.
My birth mother went on to have 5 more children, but with a different man.

Jennyluck - how lovely for you …
Nannylovesshopping ❤️

Nannylovesshopping, I feel for you and can only imagine how you must feel. You have your own lovely family now . 💐💐💐💐

Nannylovesshopping ❤️

My parents had me adopted from birth, they couldn’t afford to keep me, they went on to get married and had three more children together, I had very unhappy childhood, I have met them all over the years, but couldn’t really ever forgive them for not keeping me, bitter sweet they had others after me together, I do have a relationship with one of my siblings, but I grew up very bitter and was extremely angry until I had my own family, whom I love and adore, they have been my healing.

I have no experience of adoption other than having friends who adopted their two children. Your story is very interesting , how wonderful to have communicated with your birth mother and lovely to have met your half brother. I do hope posters on GN have similar stories to share with you. Good luck.