Problem DiL

After Covid I stayed for six weeks which was too long I know.
My dil was ( and still is) drinking neat gin throughout the day most days. My son is aware and admitted it was causing problems but will always go with whatever she says and I respect that. I think I’ll lump it and go for two weeks at Christmas and see how it goes. Thanks for your comments x

They are inviting you for 2 weeks at a time

That's all that is on offer, you could try and fight that but doing so will only worsen your relationship.

Where is your son in this? I'm assuming he is on board with 2 weeks so no point placing sole blame on your DIL

One comment may be the final straw and their are also other issues with your long stay

Most families would consider 2 weeks in their home a long visit. Concentrate on what you do have and work on having a positive relationship with everyone while you are there

Maybe go once a year and stay in a nearby Bed and Breakfast? That way you could be more independent.
Our neighbours went to Australia for a month every year, but always stayed nearby, never with their son and DIL, it worked well for years, they did school pick ups with their GCs, after school clubs and took the children out and about.

A few questions: if 3 weeks is normally your stay, what was the longer version? Also, what do you mean by drinking all the time?

They’ve been clear that two weeks is the max. That’s their choice. Your choice is to decide if two weeks is better than none. What you can’t do is force them to accommodate you.

I’d go again, otherwise you’d be cutting your nose off to spite your face and risk losing contact with your DGD. See how the land lies after your ‘gaff’ last time and drop to once a year if more appropriate? Perhaps your DinL was going through a rough time and stressed by your visit?
Perhaps what you consider excessive drinking is just normal to another person? What’s the relationship like with your son?
Did he get involved? What are his feelings?

I hope other GN’s post some comments.

Yes I'd say 2 weeks or don't go twice a year.
3 weeks is a long time to accommodate anyone (even a relative in my opinion) especially if you stay with them in their home.

I'm not sure from your info if you stay in their house or not but if you do, maybe consider taking a rental/hotel next time?