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Why do I dream this?!

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Flaxseed Sun 02-Jul-23 22:14:29

Before I met DP (10 years ago) I had a bit of a ‘thing’ for someone at work. We were both single. Both shy, and I have no idea if he ever thought of me as anything but a (distant) work colleague.
He never married or had children.

He retired a few years ago and I have never seen him since.

BUT every now and again I’ll have a period of a few weeks were I dream about him. In the dreams we are very close and I either feel terrible for hurting DP, or I totally dismiss DP from my life.
I feel so guilty when I wake up even though DP is obviously totally oblivious!

I love DP. We have a lovely life and he’s the kindest, most generous and supportive partner I have ever had. I would never hurt him. We have a lovely future planned and I can never see us not being together.
But, and I hate to admit it, I quite enjoy the dreams blush

So why does this happen? How do I stop this??
I have often wondered what my life would be like if I we had ever got together but I have never pined for ‘what might have been’
I’m almost 60 for goodness sake! Is this normal?!

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DanniRae Mon 03-Jul-23 07:48:12

I don't see a problem! You enjoy the dreams ... your partner knows nothing about them ... I would be very happy with this situation smile

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Sago Mon 03-Jul-23 08:05:48

It’s an unrequited love, anything in your life that is unresolved tends to crop up from time to time.
Don’t think too deeply and enjoy the dreams.

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FannyCornforth Mon 03-Jul-23 10:00:58

Yes, it’s normal.
I have some wildly inappropriate dreams involving completely random, sometimes quite shocking, people.
Even Johnson once made an appearance (during the height of Covid).

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Grannybags Mon 03-Jul-23 10:05:05

"even Johnson made an appearance"

That's not normal!!! grin

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Lathyrus Mon 03-Jul-23 10:09:29

Those kind of dreams are common. They’re not really about that person but relate to some unfulfilled are of your life that that person represents in some way.

Because he was a work colleague it might be about some satisfaction or role at work that is not in your life now.

Not sure what Boris represents though😬

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Poppyred Mon 03-Jul-23 10:35:15

I once had a dream that my DH had left me for Carol Vorderman. When I woke up I gave him a telling off for picking someone so revolting! 🤣🤣

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FannyCornforth Mon 03-Jul-23 10:49:48

Lathyrus

Those kind of dreams are common. They’re not really about that person but relate to some unfulfilled are of your life that that person represents in some way.

Because he was a work colleague it might be about some satisfaction or role at work that is not in your life now.

Not sure what Boris represents though😬

I definitely think that it was pandemic related.
At the beginning and height of it, lots of folk reported having absolutely bonkers dreams.
It was something that we’d never had to process before

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timetogo2016 Wed 12-Jul-23 13:44:51

You can`t help what or who you dream about.
I talk in my sleep and was having a chat with our postman my Dh asks what it was all about and he actually sulked for a while,numpty.

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nadateturbe Wed 12-Jul-23 13:57:34

Even Johnson once made an appearance

I would class that as a nightmare 😁

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FannyCornforth Wed 12-Jul-23 14:04:09

nadateturbe

^Even Johnson once made an appearance ^

I would class that as a nightmare 😁

Yes, it was rather disturbing, to say the very least grin

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