NC repercussions

I think she is what Mumsnet would call a 'Flying Monkey.' The intention is to draw you back into a relationship with your family. It's using guilt as a mechanism. Block and ignore

It sounds very reasonable to me and not as if she is very vulnerable. I think you would regret not helping when they pass and she is offering you an olive branch really.

I don't know why you went NC but will look it up but it is sensible to try and arrange things beforehand as she says. Only you would be able to tell whether to trust her or not.

I would say you are happy to help her after they have died because your relationship is with her.

That's what I would do.

Meanwhile I would suggest that it might help to have a skip if so much is going to the tip. That is then one job your sister doesn't have to be involved in.

If there is some standing space gor a skip lots of companies let you keep it for ages.

I don't believe she is trying to draw you in.

BTW - you can make all viewings the responsibility of the agent as a conditionof getting the business. Maybe your sister isn't aware of this?
Either way, you can point it out.

You have your reasons for going NC with your parents so you may not feel comfortable helping with clearance while they are still around.
As another poster advised offer to help after they pass.

Thank you very much for thoughts and different perspectives, much appreciated

I expect the sheer scale of the clearance is just becoming obvious to your sister.

Maybe, if you think you will feel uncomfortable handling their belongings after they have died, you could suggest you help some other way - eg - you could offer to organise a house-clearance firm (or the skip).

If you think the house needs a lick of paint or the garden tidied, maybe you could do that once it's emptied? It might be easier to be responsible for "preparing it for sale" once they have cleared it...

I don't think your sister's trying to draw you back into a relationship with your family; you've maintained your relationship with her and she's asking if you'd be prepared to help with your parents house once they've died. That only leaves your older sister who you may or may not wish to reconnect with, and may or may not wish to reconnect with you.

I agree with NotSpaghetti, that the best response would be you'll help her when they've died because of your relationship with her.

Your sister can ask and you can decide if its a yes or a no.

It sounds like it could be re-traumatising for you to go back into that situation.If that is the case could you perhaps offer to pay for someone to do the things that she is asking and explain that its just too overwhelming for you. There are companies that just go in and remove things in these situations.The family take the things they want and then leave the company to get on with it.
If you feel strong enough to do it then go ahead.
It takes a lot of courage to get away from toxic family situations and only you know what you are comfortable with. Did you think to talk to someone outside of the situation to help you with it?

Thank you for further responses. Appreciated!

I think saying that you are willing to help with anything needed to sort their affairs out after they have died is fine. In fact it doesn’t mean you have to do it as you could hire someone to do the work so you don’t have to be exposed to upsetting things again. I know personal effects are potentially a little different (important papers and jewellery etc), but if your other sisters want any of that then they can do that. I have huge sympathy, I was lucky enough to be born into a large but happy family and even we have our issues from time to time.

Grandmabatty, I received another email from my younger sis. I had a quick read and deleted it. I think your comments "I think she is what Mumsnet would call a 'Flying Monkey.' The intention is to draw you back into a relationship with your family. It's using guilt as a mechanism. Block and ignore" are really what is going on. Thats my gut feeling and I am trusting it. I am not strong enough YET to block her yet but the ignoring of guilt trips is happening. But thank you everybody for your opinions/views and perspectives.

If these people, all or any of them, do not enhance or bring joy to your life, you do not need them. And you do not need any inheritance... that would, to me, seem a poisoned chalice.
Perhaps continue contact with your younger sister if you feel comfortable with that, but make it on your terms.
Be you.

It sounds very reasonable to me and not as if she is very vulnerable.

Totally agree.

On the surface it might sound reasonable, but Loveandpositivity will know better than any of us whether her sister is vulnerable.

If it were me, I would not promise to do anything after their deaths. Who knows how you will feel when the time comes? You don't say what their health is like, but if both parents are still living, it could be years before the second of them dies.

Keep ignoring the guilt trips. Focus on the positivity.

How is it a guilt trip?

As a stand alone letter it is more than fair.

But yes, we dont know the background.

When I said ignore the guilt trips, I was more referring to the second email that OP said she read quickly and then deleted. If she thinks it's a guilt trip and decides to ignore the message, that's perfectly fine. Sometimes it is better to delete and move on, rather than get drawn in.

Fleur20 "Be you"

What a beautiful thing to write. I am most definitely being me nowadays and I fully appreciate I am not for everyone and that's AOK too. It seems many people really like me, I had no idea!
Have a great day everyone!