Good grief was this totally inappropriate?

You know him and we don’t! It may be that he has really fancied you for a time but has bottled up it up - then he has made a fool of himself after too much to drink! Perhaps he now regrets it bitterly and is too embarrassed to speak to you.

Only you can tell if this is the sign of something really bad about him- or if this was a very unfortunate drunken show of affection! You need to listen to your own instincts in this- and maybe discuss it with him. If you don’t feel you can discuss it with him then that maybe says something about the relationship in the first place!

He will draw you in if you visit him. He'll play the victim and may even cry. I don't know why you would visit someone who was so offensive.

Well, that sounds like a great move. See, you did the right thing, regardless, from where I am sitting. Take care,
kind lady.

That was hurtful! People used to make excuses for drunks behaving badly - "it's the booze talking" etc. In fact, booze, drugs, whatever it is - that's when people become their true selves. If you think someone is your friend, but that friend hurts, offends, or even abuses you, Stop it right there! Let go of your responsibility to do anything. Hanging the phone up is the clearest message. You did that. Enough is enough. Do Nothing (and that means, no calls, no second-guessing, including feeling any guilt). Leave him to his own devices. DO NOT GET DRAWN IN. Living with an alcoholic is enough penance for anyone, I know about that. Take care. Shift your thinking, if you feel you need to respond, don't bother. Consider the phone hangup Your last word. He'll find someone else to help him out.

Oh goodness, how awful. If it was 9am, was he drunk from the night before? If he remembers it I am sure he would also be mortified, but it could be a sign of dimenture.
I think I would ask him if he remembers the phone call he made and if so, sadly, I think explain how I felt, and end the friendship.
I am so sorry this happened to you.

why go and see him ??
just cut him off.
or if you really think you want to say something to him, do it by text/email.
then block.

Ladies thank you, your contributions have been overwhelmingly and I’m so grateful for your support
I categorically know he was not suffering from a diabetic based incident or suffering any form of dementia. I have checked with his neighbours and he is fine. I am 99% certain he had been drinking heavily late into the night and this was the early morning result.
I will go and see him and tell him upon a lot of reflection I have decided I can no longer support him or be his friend.
So desperately sad
Thank you all again x

I wouldn't feel I could ever trust him again, whatever the reasons, medical or otherwise.
We had a genteel gentleman ( normally) who came in the library where I worked, and most Monday mornings for a while he rang between 9-9:30am and told us what he was doing to himself( masturbating). He often used to take out a series of books called Black Lace Romances( you catch my drift from this.) We recognised his voice, told him to behave and put the phone down immediately .I couldn't stop him coming in the library as such, and although we knew it was him,we also knew he was on his own most weekends and together with the books he was reading we concluded this must have been disturbing the balance of his mind. Eventually he stopped this behaviour- but I never left any staff alone with him, we remained polite but were all relieved when he left the premises.I spoke to the local policeman at one point who said the chap also rang the dry cleaners and travel agents around 9:30 am and the officer had gone and had a word with him. He stopped the phone calls soon after I believe.
Not nice, don't get involved again OP - please.

Yes move on if you find out he’s ok but make sure he is first

Whatever the reason, you deserve better. Leave it at that and move on. Best of luck.

Does he have any children that you could talk to privately? Maybe he has a medical condition that he hasn't told you about,which may explain his behaviour,and just for the record,there are many different forms of dementia,and not all of them,result in sexual conversations,

Obviously knew UTIs

I think if you haven't heard from him since, a safety check is appropriate.
I'd definately call the police and ask if they can see if he's safe and well.

Loobs I had no idea blood sugar could do that!

stewpot she has no idea if he was ill, dead or drunk as she was on the end of a phone and it was completely out of character and she has not come back to say she has seen or heard from him in the last 8 days so of course he could be dead in hospital or just an axxxxole No way of knowing which

@ElderlyDutchLady

As you know sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated, or is meant to make them feel that way. I believe the poster mentioned that she felt defiled. I don't think that she mention he was in the throws of a diabetic coma.

As you know sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated, or is meant to make them feel that way. I believe the poster mentioned that she felt defiled. I don't think that she mention he was in the throws of a diabetic coma.

End it now. Plenty more fish etc etc.

As you have known and been in the company of this man for a few years without him putting a foot wrong the chances of him being ill is much higher than him being drunk at 9 am in the morning I would think
Have you checked up on him since or better still asked someone else to check upon him Do you know his family ? or neighbours? or friends ?
This happened last Friday it’s now Saturday so 8 days gone by have you heard nothing from him ? do you know he’s alive ?

Be very careful. See if he apologises although even if he did i would be wary of trusting him. You don't need this. I would probably end the relationship and move on.

That must have been awful for you. He’s ruined any friendship you had. I hope you can move on from this. 💐

Sadly I think you need to block him and terminate the friendship .It sounds like you have had enough unhappiness already x

Sparklefizz

9am and he was already drunk!! You deserve better than this. You know that saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them. “

Yes, that’s what popped into my head, as well.

I’m sorry that someone you saw as a safe male friend has let you down in this way. The only good thing I can draw from it is that at least you know how he sees you, and if that’s not something you want in your life, to withdraw.

Drunk at 9.00 am does not sound like someone you need in your life! And nor is someone who is harbouring unpleasant sexual fantasies about you!

A friendship is only truly platonic if both friends regard it so. Once one half of a close friendship crosses the line by expressing sexual desire for the other, it can't be put back in the box very easily. It maybe your friend is genuinely lonely and actually wants a partner to share intimacy with, rather than just friend, and required Dutch courage to tell you in a less than appropriate way, and there's probably no way to put the genie back in the bottle, and I think you have at least cool off for a while and see if he apologizes and if you are comfortable with that apology, and also whether he is comfortable with your lack of sexual interest in him. He too will feel rejected, and may regret crossing the line. If the friendship is valued on both sides, it might be retrievable after a period of reflection for both of you.

Does he have family, find out if he has been behaving oddly, it could be a kind of dementia beginning, or completely drunk

Totally agree