Good grief was this totally inappropriate?

Get rid your better off on your own.

Cut all contact regardless of an apology.

The only excuse woul be some form of brain disease or dementia and even then you do not need to keep in contact.

Just end it, not prudish but sensible! Don't have to explain.

I have known chaps who are unacceptably risqué or crude, most were when I was working with people with dementia or alcohol who were disinhibited due to illness and addiction.

Sounds like he wants something from the relationship with you that is bang out of order. It's not something to ignore, don't ever allow yourself to be alone with this man, even if it turns out he's ill and you feel sorry for him. If it was a one off it's still unacceptable and he has to face the consequences. If you have already had a long relationship with an alcoholic perhaps he is aware of that and thinks you are willing to put up with 'bad' behaviour.

Time to close this relationship down and you shouldn't even need to have to tell him why.

What’s done is done and can’t be undone. You mention your husband died of alcoholism. Would you want to revisit that ir have it in the back of your mind forever, and always on tenterhooks just in case today is the ‘day’.
No, once bitten twice shy, if he asks why you’re distant tell him politely, don’t go into detail and that’s that.
You’re worth better, than a drunken fumble.

You may not be the only female to have experienced this from him. Woukd you ever feel comfortable, confide in him again? Call an end to the friendship in my opinion.

Oh poor you - how awful! He has very much overstepped the line of your previous 'friendship,' and words cannot be unsaid. Please tell me that I'm not the only one here that thinks that this should be reported to the police?

As others have said, I wonder if he is unwell, if this is completely out of character.
Urine infections can cause bizarre behaviour, or it may be an indication of something more serious.

9am is very early to be drunk. Is he a diabetic? Was it possible he was having a low which would make him seem drunk; that makes you act completely out of character.
The other thing that occurred to me is that he might have a UTI, another thing which can cause you to be completely inappropriate. I have been on a ward with men with UTI's and it is amazing how they act...one was on his knees believing he was a dog. His wife was so embarrassed as he was still of a working age and in a professional job.
If it wasn't something medical that has upset his balance then definitely run a mile.

You are most definitely not being prudish, and so sad that what you thought was a friendly relationship was perhaps considered more. Sadly, if he does have a drink problem as you suspect - he may not remember the phone call. My Dad was an alcoholic and did this many times, losing many jobs as he generally called his bosses!

If this is the situation could you forget it? I fear this may be a situation to close the door and walk away. Hopefully, he will take the hint, you must protect yourself and you ^do not^deserve to be spoken to in this manner - whether he was drink or not.

whether its illness or alcohol I think you should step away....do you know any of his friends or family you could mention it to though?

I remember years ago when I was a teenager I had what I thought was a platonic friendship. My Mum said to me then that there is no such thing as a platonic relationship between a man and woman. She was right. (this was in the era before LGBTQ)
It is sad that this man maybe ill but I would not feel comfortable under any circumstances with him. What has been said cannot be unsaid.
Time to move on

Oh yuk! Hopefully not dementia . To be drinking at 9am would send alarm bells ringing for me. I would be walking away from this man. Too many red flags

merlotgran

You will never be able to unhear what he said and you’ve stated you really never want to see him again so don’t!

You’ve dodged a bullet. Move on!

This. Most definitely. Protect yourself - and if you know any of his relatives, suggest that he sees a doctor..!

How awful ,
I really think you need to block and swerve this man. You owe him nothing . His abhorrent drunken and highly abusive behaviour means he’s history . If he contacts you tell him exactly what you think and move on .

Oh dear, how sad. I’m also guessing dementia, 9 am seems too early to be drunk. I note that you said you help him out a lot as he doesn’t drive. Please don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about withdrawing your help as well as your friendship. He has crossed the line and he needs to realise that.

I would drop the man without a second thought; whether he apologises or not is irrelevant - he has shown you his true colours, maybe under the influence of drink or maybe not. You've already lost one partner through drink and have suffered with that.
No, I would be running away from any further contact with this man. Don't think he's worth it.

Felicity, keep talking here if you need to, if you find it difficult to terminate this friendship, I agree with most everything said here, but .. keep talking if you need to.... please do not keep up with this friendship.

Move on, block contact and keep safe

How awful for you.

Forget him

If you have experienced the trauma of an alcoholic husband, why would you even think about repeating the experience?

Your good friendship has obviously come to its end accept it who needs friends like that.

The only time anyone has spoken to me like that - out of character - was a shy, polite and quite timid gentleman at work. He was really crude and I was quite shocked but the first aider explained that he was a diabetic and that this was a sign he was getting dangerously low/high (not sure how it works) in sugar. He was fine after a short while and apologised profusely. I just think you should ascertain exactly why he spoke so out of character as, although unlikely, there could be an understandable reason?

I feel so sad for you Felicity because I think you are hesitating about what to do because you don't want to lose what you've had in terms of friendship. But I'm afraid that the friendship has already gone because I don't see how you could feel the same about this man. Please try to move on - there's somebody better out there who deserves your companionship

You know the answer yourself. End relationship and block him completely.
Shame to his happened to you x

He has to go! Tell him - text or email if you prefer - that he has said things you found unacceptable and you’d rather not be in touch again. As a friend he’s lost to you any way

Sounds like it could be medical / mental issues.