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neighbours feel played

(13 Posts)
busybee6969 Thu 09-Nov-23 15:12:18

moved house 2 years ago,all neighbours friendly,xmas cards exchanged a wave quick chat with all.then 1 couple seem to take over me,evertime they saw me chatting to another neighbour the next time they saw me they would give bad gossip etc about the other neighbour,then they had a major fall out with local vet, slagged vet off big time,they moved vets and could not believe no one else changed vets,bad weather kept asking to take my dog on local field to play with their dog, nice weather it was ok, field is now like a bog,so i said no field to wet, then i was ill took my dog out bit earlier than usual getting ready to give relaxing pill for firework weekend,i god a dirty look because i wouldnt goon muddy field and i went early,as had to give dog fireworks,i have thought about it in the 2 years i have lived here none of the neighbours now seen to have anything to do with this couple with the dog, I FEEL A BIT SLOW NOT WORKING OUT THAT IT THEIR WAY OR THEY SLAG YOU OFF,everyone else seems to avoid them,i feel a bit daft,she has the husband doing everything,

OurKid1 Thu 09-Nov-23 15:19:04

I'm finding it a bit difficult to understand your post - who is feeling 'played'? You or the neighbours? Also what business is it of anyone's if she has "the husband doing everything/" Ditto, their "major fall out with the local vet" and that they "slagged him off big time." Ok, you don't like them, which may or may not be justified, but you seem to have other neighbours who you rub along with ok. So ... what's the actual problem? Just stay out of their way. PS What's with the CAPITAL LETTERS?

AGAA4 Thu 09-Nov-23 15:28:58

Just keep away from people you feel 'slag you off'. You don't need them so forget about them and get on with your own life.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 09-Nov-23 15:30:48

I don’t get it either, except that there is a couple who don’t get on with anyone else. Just keep contact with them to the minimum. And it’s nobody’s business if the husband does a lot round the house, why shouldn’t he do his share?

busybee6969 Thu 09-Nov-23 15:50:42

hi thanks for your replies,i feel played ,they keep going on and on about why dont i change vets as wellk i said i have had the same vets about 35 years i am happy there,but the still go on and on about their problem with the vets,a few times i have took my dog out and they have stopped the car and shouted wait for them they will come on the field with their dog, as i said now field is like a bog i am not going on it,,i am used to getting on with everyone,find it embrassing to keep being told gossip about neighbour ie they were done for drink driving av few years ago or her husband had an affair,like they are trying to put me off people, i have a bad memory for names so made a list from last years xmas cards, i was told other day oh they dont bother sending cards to her or him,when i from what i have seen in the 2 years i have been here everyone is friends and i get on with them all.,i suffer with depression and just gets me down the negative points that are made

Scat Thu 09-Nov-23 15:56:36

Simple problem to address: avoid them. Don't get involved in their disputes with other neighbours or businesses, don't explain where, when or why you walk your dog and definitely don't involve yourself in their domestic dynamics; that's really none of your business. Keep your distance and just smile and wave; nothing more.

crazyH Thu 09-Nov-23 16:03:33

busybee - you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Stay with your Vet. Take your dog to wherever you choose. Don’t let her bully you. If you are depressed, make an appointment with your Doctor. Things are getting on top of you. Take it easy.

sodapop Thu 09-Nov-23 16:13:45

crazyH is right I think busybee things seem to getting to you more than they should. Do your own thing regarding the vet and your dog. Maybe get some help with your depression as well. Take care.

BlueBelle Thu 09-Nov-23 16:56:54

I agree with others you are allowing these things to happen walk where you want, when you want, and with whom you want no one’s business if you are depressed and allowing others to rule your life you need to see your GP

busybee6969 Thu 09-Nov-23 19:43:22

thank you for the replies. am under the doctor for depression went on hrt that has helped,will try the wave and trot approach,im just not used to avoiding people i will chat to anyone,and everyone has been so friendly since i moved in,thank you all

welbeck Thu 09-Nov-23 20:48:48

you could have some phases prepared in case they try to way-lay you.
walk briskly, do not stop, shout
i have to be somewhere.
which is true.
as you have to be anywhere else away from them.
but you don't need to tell them the last bit.
all the best.

Oreo Thu 09-Nov-23 21:07:05

Stay friendly yet a bit distant, that’s what I do with a near neighbour who looks and talks like Alf Garnett.A quick wave and whoosh past.

Scribbles Thu 09-Nov-23 21:57:49

I agree with what others have said but, if you do find yourself caught up in conversation and being told a lot of gossip about other neighbours, just look them in the eye and say firmly, "sorry but I really dislike this sort of gossip and, anyway, I have to go now because I need to get on." Then bid them a cheery farewell and walk away.